Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Banter!"Experiences of living
155 total reviews
Comment from rhymelord
Once again, I find myself at a loss to understand your message. The words are erudite but their interconnection is confused by the punctuation, which you state is deliberate. I am unknowing as to your level of education in English language/grammar, but I hazard a guess that this might be a problem. If that is so, then possibly some further study is advisable. It would be a pity for someone of your obvious poetic thinking to fall short in communication.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Once again, I find myself at a loss to understand your message. The words are erudite but their interconnection is confused by the punctuation, which you state is deliberate. I am unknowing as to your level of education in English language/grammar, but I hazard a guess that this might be a problem. If that is so, then possibly some further study is advisable. It would be a pity for someone of your obvious poetic thinking to fall short in communication.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS.
Comment from ~Dovey
With a syllable structure of 5-7-5-7-7, that would make this a Tanka poem. Another variation of the Japanese born varieties. Your syllables match well and I see no need for changes.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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With a syllable structure of 5-7-5-7-7, that would make this a Tanka poem. Another variation of the Japanese born varieties. Your syllables match well and I see no need for changes.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR PROFESSIONAL REVIEW.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Well, I really liked this one, but once again there seems to be a problem with the clarity of your writing. I wonder if there is someone close to you who could help you organize your most profound thoughts into coherent phrases?
The gist of this poem is lovely, and it is a shame to lose meaning because of a simple language barrier. E.G. - what does this mean - "Shame, how wonder!" Even the punctuation doesn't seem right because I would have thought you meant it is shameful that the children are arguing with the parent, so it would be a question.
I do like the 'deep' quality to your work - I find it quite thought-provoking and evocative.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Well, I really liked this one, but once again there seems to be a problem with the clarity of your writing. I wonder if there is someone close to you who could help you organize your most profound thoughts into coherent phrases?
The gist of this poem is lovely, and it is a shame to lose meaning because of a simple language barrier. E.G. - what does this mean - "Shame, how wonder!" Even the punctuation doesn't seem right because I would have thought you meant it is shameful that the children are arguing with the parent, so it would be a question.
I do like the 'deep' quality to your work - I find it quite thought-provoking and evocative.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from fairy77
You're very talented:)Do not let others get to you! Good venting and I hope you sort it out. Great poem and wonderfully presented:)beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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You're very talented:)Do not let others get to you! Good venting and I hope you sort it out. Great poem and wonderfully presented:)beth fairy77.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR APPRECIABLE REVIEW.
Comment from Michael Wayne
Simply saying that the punctuation is intentional does not excuse it from being misplaced and distracting. I do not understand how this piece, by the rating standards of this site, averages a 5-star review.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Simply saying that the punctuation is intentional does not excuse it from being misplaced and distracting. I do not understand how this piece, by the rating standards of this site, averages a 5-star review.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS.
Comment from chasennov
'Banter.' You have a very good descriptive package infused into your work, 'Banter.' My World Book Dictionary will have you believe banter means, to talk in a joking way. That is exactly what I made of it.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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'Banter.' You have a very good descriptive package infused into your work, 'Banter.' My World Book Dictionary will have you believe banter means, to talk in a joking way. That is exactly what I made of it.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENDABLE REVIEW.
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YOU ARE VERY WELCOME!
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A deep and meaningful poem about the tensions that can arise between parents and offspring. It questions the roles of heredity vs actions in this relationship. Are we tied together by blood, or do our actions determine our relationship. In my estimation, it is a combination of both. Interesting and thought-provoking write~Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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A deep and meaningful poem about the tensions that can arise between parents and offspring. It questions the roles of heredity vs actions in this relationship. Are we tied together by blood, or do our actions determine our relationship. In my estimation, it is a combination of both. Interesting and thought-provoking write~Debbie
Comment Written 05-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR CREATIVE REVIEW.
Comment from donaldww
Hi Al,
I think you're a fine fellow, and have much good to say. At the same time, I wish you would pay more attention to using words properly and writing with clarity. Reading your poetry is like listening to a gasoline engine running on rainwater.
I think God would approve of your efforts to improve in this area, and you would live up to your epithet: incessant learner. Your job is to elucidate, not obfuscate.
Shame, how wonder?
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Hi Al,
I think you're a fine fellow, and have much good to say. At the same time, I wish you would pay more attention to using words properly and writing with clarity. Reading your poetry is like listening to a gasoline engine running on rainwater.
I think God would approve of your efforts to improve in this area, and you would live up to your epithet: incessant learner. Your job is to elucidate, not obfuscate.
Shame, how wonder?
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR SUGGESTIVE INTERPRETATIVE PROFESSIONAL REVIEW.
Comment from Mai Mai
This is an interesting piece. It seems to have a parent-child theme. While it is not straight forward it is evident. Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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This is an interesting piece. It seems to have a parent-child theme. While it is not straight forward it is evident. Good job and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR NICE REVIEW.
Comment from sunnilicious
Parent differ. I don't know why. Socio-economics maybe. Well you shed light on the task of being a parent. Something which I am not. Nice work.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Parent differ. I don't know why. Socio-economics maybe. Well you shed light on the task of being a parent. Something which I am not. Nice work.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR CLARIFIED REVIEW.
