Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Banter!"Experiences of living
155 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your reflections about how parents and children may misunderstand one another. I am not clear on the last line with the use of "how wonder"--maybe "we wonder" would convey the thought. -Joan
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
Thank you for sharing your reflections about how parents and children may misunderstand one another. I am not clear on the last line with the use of "how wonder"--maybe "we wonder" would convey the thought. -Joan
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for quest review
Comment from LaDonnaCole
I can't decide if you are a genius or if you have trouble with the English language.
I suspect the first one.
This poem brings to mind a parent's full range of emotions over the love of a child.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
I can't decide if you are a genius or if you have trouble with the English language.
I suspect the first one.
This poem brings to mind a parent's full range of emotions over the love of a child.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for suspicious thoughtful review
Comment from muezza56
another interesting and really well written 5-7-5-7-7 poem about the gift of life and how both parents, and child respond to this gift and how this is interpretated
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
another interesting and really well written 5-7-5-7-7 poem about the gift of life and how both parents, and child respond to this gift and how this is interpretated
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
You write cryptically in a fashion that's hard to follow. I like my reads to be enjoyable and not too much of a challenge. Is it about God and what he gives us... Honestly - I've no idea. Give us a clue!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
You write cryptically in a fashion that's hard to follow. I like my reads to be enjoyable and not too much of a challenge. Is it about God and what he gives us... Honestly - I've no idea. Give us a clue!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks
right you are
Comment from Robert Loy Gonzalez
Nice little chapter in your book, yet I don't understand what you are trying to say? Maybe provide me with a little feedback and ill change the stars.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
Nice little chapter in your book, yet I don't understand what you are trying to say? Maybe provide me with a little feedback and ill change the stars.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for reading
Comment from TiffanyLeeBaldwin
This is a new form of a poem that I have not used or seen before. You did a great job in bringing your emotion to the front and allowing the reader to feel the emotions. Great Job and I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
This is a new form of a poem that I have not used or seen before. You did a great job in bringing your emotion to the front and allowing the reader to feel the emotions. Great Job and I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
Comment from Sanku
The trials and sacrifices of a parent is written in terse lines.life,sleepless nights,hopes caring all come from parent .in the end results may be unhappy.'how wonder' doesnt feel right.'what pity' or something on that meaning should be there -my opinion.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
The trials and sacrifices of a parent is written in terse lines.life,sleepless nights,hopes caring all come from parent .in the end results may be unhappy.'how wonder' doesnt feel right.'what pity' or something on that meaning should be there -my opinion.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for review with suggestion
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I gifted life, blood,
Light, sleepless-restless day-nights, << How does one give "light"?
As caressed, taught words. << "As caressed"? Where does this fit in with "taught words"?
My word may hurt, you fear to
Disown me. Shame; how wonder! << "how wonder" makes no sense at all... is it another abbreviated phrase to make the correct syllable count?
This is very hard to read, let alone understand. A good poem of any length or style must read SMOOTHLY.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
I gifted life, blood,
Light, sleepless-restless day-nights, << How does one give "light"?
As caressed, taught words. << "As caressed"? Where does this fit in with "taught words"?
My word may hurt, you fear to
Disown me. Shame; how wonder! << "how wonder" makes no sense at all... is it another abbreviated phrase to make the correct syllable count?
This is very hard to read, let alone understand. A good poem of any length or style must read SMOOTHLY.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for the read
review is appreciated
Comment from K.W.
I appreciate the sentiment. Your word choices are strong but your syntax is confusing and disrupts the flow and cadence i.e. shame; how wonder...
Also, your use of enjambment in the fourth line interrupts the thought, somehow separating it from itself.
Very best to you, k
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
I appreciate the sentiment. Your word choices are strong but your syntax is confusing and disrupts the flow and cadence i.e. shame; how wonder...
Also, your use of enjambment in the fourth line interrupts the thought, somehow separating it from itself.
Very best to you, k
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks
Comment from arsinBW
Your work is very good. Very original compared to the rest of what I read on this site. Thank you so much for your originality!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
Your work is very good. Very original compared to the rest of what I read on this site. Thank you so much for your originality!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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thanks for review