Viewing the World With Fresh Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Writing To God"The fifteen Years of My Life
16 total reviews
Comment from Gideon300
An enchanting story. I grew up with brothers and sisters so I was not lonely in this way. But I knew a few kids who were only a only child and we use to always tease and say we would be happy to switch places, because we did not understand loneliness.
Good writing.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2020
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An enchanting story. I grew up with brothers and sisters so I was not lonely in this way. But I knew a few kids who were only a only child and we use to always tease and say we would be happy to switch places, because we did not understand loneliness.
Good writing.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the review and nice comments. I'm glad you liked my story. I think you are right. Kids with a lot of siblings that we had the better deal.
Beth
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Very clean lines of progression leading to a challenge (Daddy said....). Then, the surprise, the child's mind leaps over the difficulty. Very satisfying. I can see why this won the contest.
Joy in being child-like,
Aaron
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Very clean lines of progression leading to a challenge (Daddy said....). Then, the surprise, the child's mind leaps over the difficulty. Very satisfying. I can see why this won the contest.
Joy in being child-like,
Aaron
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Congratulations on your first place win. I enjoyed reading your entry. There is good flow and it sounds just like a child would imagine. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Congratulations on your first place win. I enjoyed reading your entry. There is good flow and it sounds just like a child would imagine. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 07-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Thank ;you so much for the review and the congratulations. I was only four but I clearly remember doing this.
Beth
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the "Through the Eyes of a Child" writing prompt.
This short story tells of a young girl asking God for a baby sister.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the "Through the Eyes of a Child" writing prompt.
This short story tells of a young girl asking God for a baby sister.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 07-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the comments.
Smiles.
Comment from Patty Palmer
How believing children are. So sweet that you would write a letter to God asking for a baby sister to play with you. I particularly liked the part where your mom says they won't be having a baby sister and you tell her that she was too late because you had already mailed the letter.
Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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How believing children are. So sweet that you would write a letter to God asking for a baby sister to play with you. I particularly liked the part where your mom says they won't be having a baby sister and you tell her that she was too late because you had already mailed the letter.
Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments.
Comment from ann borges
This is a sweet piece. It definitely reflects the thoughts of a child. The writing flowed well. It broke my heart when the mother said Daddy doesn't want any more children. I loved the child's answer to that. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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This is a sweet piece. It definitely reflects the thoughts of a child. The writing flowed well. It broke my heart when the mother said Daddy doesn't want any more children. I loved the child's answer to that. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. Did you mean to rate that with four stars. Those are usually reserved for pieces that need a lot of improvement. If it is an accident you can always go back and change it.
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Do I have the stars backwards? I thought 2 stars meant major fixing was required.
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I think four stars is like a C, Three is like a D an one and two are failing. I never give below four if it's fixable. Anything less I just skip. 5 is a B+ or A and 6 is an A+ Maybe just my thinking but I've heard others say that too.
Comment from Bill Schott
This short story, Writing to God, really can be called a nonfiction story. You don't have to recall word-for-word what you said or thought. If it's true, then how you remember it is all that matters. Becky is a wonderful character though, with a hopeful and creative reasoning that makes scribbling - writing, and intentions - words. The mail system is certainly made to be quite dependable.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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This short story, Writing to God, really can be called a nonfiction story. You don't have to recall word-for-word what you said or thought. If it's true, then how you remember it is all that matters. Becky is a wonderful character though, with a hopeful and creative reasoning that makes scribbling - writing, and intentions - words. The mail system is certainly made to be quite dependable.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for the lovely review and nice comments.
Comment from zanya
What a sweet tale from the magical world of childhood where all things are possible to those who believe - love the part about the wind blowing in the right direction !! it's just charming
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
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What a sweet tale from the magical world of childhood where all things are possible to those who believe - love the part about the wind blowing in the right direction !! it's just charming
Comment Written 06-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for the beautiful six stars. I really appreciate the review and comment. I'm so glad you like it.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
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Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the review and nice comments.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Beautiful story! Oh, the trusting faith of an innocent child. And she "mailed" her letter. Sweet, very sweet. What a precious memory! I hope you stay as close or closer to God all your life, and teach your children the same.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
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Beautiful story! Oh, the trusting faith of an innocent child. And she "mailed" her letter. Sweet, very sweet. What a precious memory! I hope you stay as close or closer to God all your life, and teach your children the same.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the lovely comments.
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You're quite welcome.
