Reviews from

Aiona's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 77 "Electrons"
Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.

6 total reviews 
Comment from dragonpoet
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Aiona,
Each rhyming couplet shows a scientic use of electrons and shows us that eveything has electrons because everything is made of atoms. Even humans.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 13-May-2020
    Thanks, Joan.
reply by dragonpoet on 13-May-2020
    My pleasure.
    Joan
Comment from KyColonel Randal
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Thank you for sharing this! This is neat, it reads like a high school science project--a la "The Magic School Bus." Or maybe "The Electric Company," which I used to watch on television when I was young. Fond memories! I would recommend taking advantage of the site's presentation tools, such as including an illustration, increasing the font size, and changing the background color. This is especially good advice for contests, but even for regular poems, it creates a nice portfolio piece and gives the talented artists at FanArtReview.com some exposure for their work.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 13-May-2020
    Thanks! I never watched The Magic School Bus. I wonder if it's on YouTube...... I remember The Electric Company though! I definitely wish people had more illustrations of electrical stuff.
Comment from susand3022
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Well, aren't you just the little scientist, Aiona! Electrons now is it? Are they those little jiggly things that create heat when they get moving from friction? I don't know much about physical science anymore... that would be like 8th grade science... that was about... 42-43 years ago, without doing proper math... lol

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 13-May-2020
    Thanks, Susan!
Comment from lyenochka
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Love how you marry science and whimsical imagination in this piece. I think that electrons are not just people - they are in the atoms that make up people and everything else. Very cool!

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
    Thank you, Lyenochka!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Hello, Aiona,

Electrons....is a very well written poem about electrons.. it's so unique. I never thought of electrons that way. I can't tell if it's rhymed because I am reading in my phone. Good job.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
    Thank you!
Comment from strandregs
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Very simplified electronics.
It was only 50 years ago . I had to learn valves and transistors.
In those days electrons ran around the atom.
Now they have a life of their own.
And determine your health.
Free radicals or radical scavengers.
How the world has changed from the time of leaky capacitors.
Now broccoli sprouts are the best scavengers . With vit. C. And hyperbaric oxygen.
And bicarbonate of soda. And Chlorine dioxide.
And DMSO.
And seven mushrooms.
Iodine kills biofilms and MRSA..
See Iodosorb.
Just learned that.
If you didn't want to know all this.
My apologies.:-))Z.


 Comment Written 01-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
    Heh! It's a draft for a children's book. I'm glad you think it's very simplified! I hope it's suitable for a bedtime story!