My Failure (a sonnet)
Starts and Ends the Same Contest Entry12 total reviews
Comment from gingermo
An extremely clever, tongue in cheek sonnet, more so for me because most of the sonnets I have written or read have been in the serious vein or about love. I like the way you bring in relevant topics...trash reviews for cash...words which made me examine my conscience. I'll admit my reviews aren't made in heaven but I do my best and don't do them for dosh but because I appreciate the writing. You also bring in writer terms like metaphor, writer's block and muse and all with make sense rhymes. You obviously have a talent for using rhyme most effectively. The last two lines wrap up your failures and the line "My failure stains the fabric of my core," extremely poetic, worthy of Shakespeare. I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
  |
An extremely clever, tongue in cheek sonnet, more so for me because most of the sonnets I have written or read have been in the serious vein or about love. I like the way you bring in relevant topics...trash reviews for cash...words which made me examine my conscience. I'll admit my reviews aren't made in heaven but I do my best and don't do them for dosh but because I appreciate the writing. You also bring in writer terms like metaphor, writer's block and muse and all with make sense rhymes. You obviously have a talent for using rhyme most effectively. The last two lines wrap up your failures and the line "My failure stains the fabric of my core," extremely poetic, worthy of Shakespeare. I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
Wow, thank you for the fantastic review, friend. Yeah, I always like stepping outside the box a little. I can write all the lovey dovey sonnet stuff but I've grown tired of that over the years. I'm sure Shakespeare would flop over in his grave if he saw some of the crap I written in sonnet form. Lol. I dearly appreciate the generous stars and excellent review, Gingermo. I'm glad you liked my silly little offering. Have a great rest of your weekend.
Ron
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This poem has good points on how it feels to feel like one is a failure. You are not a failure if you can write like this. Ha ha. Writers block is not enjoyable. Good post.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
|
This poem has good points on how it feels to feel like one is a failure. You are not a failure if you can write like this. Ha ha. Writers block is not enjoyable. Good post.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
Thank you for the great review and generous stars, Thaities. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I enjoyed this story in a poem. I think it will appeal to many readers since ti describes places we have all been in. Frustration as we receive reviews that read like ka wisp of smoke - no constructive criticism to help us to learn; Panick as writer's block rears its ugly head. I have a personal opinion on that one. I think writer's block hates the prompt system, so I always have a spare writing project on the go to dip into in times of crisis - it seems to work well, and certainly soothes me.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
|
I enjoyed this story in a poem. I think it will appeal to many readers since ti describes places we have all been in. Frustration as we receive reviews that read like ka wisp of smoke - no constructive criticism to help us to learn; Panick as writer's block rears its ugly head. I have a personal opinion on that one. I think writer's block hates the prompt system, so I always have a spare writing project on the go to dip into in times of crisis - it seems to work well, and certainly soothes me.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
That is an excellent idea, Katherine. Yes, I think it hates the prompts too. Haha. Thank you for the great review and generous stars, K. I'm glad you liked this silly piece.
Ron
Comment from RShipp
You obeyed the poetic terms of the contest to begin and end with the same word.
Job well done. The 'stain' will disperse... Enjoy your poetic licence.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
|
You obeyed the poetic terms of the contest to begin and end with the same word.
Job well done. The 'stain' will disperse... Enjoy your poetic licence.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
Thank you for the great review and the generous stars, RShipp. I'm glad you liked this silly piece.
Comment from Lu Saluna
I like your sonnet and it's brutal honesty. You gave me a chuckle. You never know. I am sure you don't label works a "trash". Most people are pretty good and others are new and need our encouragement. As they keep on writing they get better. Good luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
|
I like your sonnet and it's brutal honesty. You gave me a chuckle. You never know. I am sure you don't label works a "trash". Most people are pretty good and others are new and need our encouragement. As they keep on writing they get better. Good luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
Thank you for the excellent review and generous stars, Lu. I'm glad you got a chuckle out of this silliness. That's all I was really going for. Have a great day. Thank you again.
Ron
Comment from RodG
I like this witty entry into a very challenging contest. Sometimes you must let your imagination loose--as you've done here. Your meter is impeccable and you did end the sonnet the same way you began it. Rod
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
|
I like this witty entry into a very challenging contest. Sometimes you must let your imagination loose--as you've done here. Your meter is impeccable and you did end the sonnet the same way you began it. Rod
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
Thank you for the fantastic review, Rod. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked my silly take on the contest. Have a great day, friend.
Ron
-
My pleasure.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
I really like your poem. It's true, a lot of writers review for fanstory money and don't review honestly. I left this site for two years because I was so disolussioned with the system. But when it's done right is wonderful. Good job.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
|
Hello my friend
I really like your poem. It's true, a lot of writers review for fanstory money and don't review honestly. I left this site for two years because I was so disolussioned with the system. But when it's done right is wonderful. Good job.
Gypsy
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2020
-
Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Gypsy. I'm glad to see you came back. Yeah, we all just have to play the little FS games. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars, GBR. Have a great day.
Ron
Comment from LyndaS
I love that you stepped outside the box with this entry. A humorous sonnet is seldom seen here. Your meter and rhyme are spot on and I thought it was hilarious that you basically wrote about how you came up with absolutely nothing for this contest. Excellent! I also like and appreciate posts with no art. It lets you focus on the author's talent, of which you have a boatload. Your muse is very much in tact, by the way. This is a great entry and I think you'll do well in the booth. Nice job! Lynda
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
 |
I love that you stepped outside the box with this entry. A humorous sonnet is seldom seen here. Your meter and rhyme are spot on and I thought it was hilarious that you basically wrote about how you came up with absolutely nothing for this contest. Excellent! I also like and appreciate posts with no art. It lets you focus on the author's talent, of which you have a boatload. Your muse is very much in tact, by the way. This is a great entry and I think you'll do well in the booth. Nice job! Lynda
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
-
Wow, well thank you so much for the fantastic review and the fat sixer, Lynda. Yeah, I don't think I've ever come across a humorous sonnet on here before, now that you mention it. Too many people are too busy weeping to take the time to write a sonnet, let alone make it funny. Yeah, I like it without a pic too. I appreciate the gracious rating, Lynda. I'm glad you liked my silly little offering. Have a wonderful weekend. Thank you again.
;)
Comment from Michele Harber
Your poem is basically very well written, very funny, very honest - and very likely to beat mine in the competition!
As this is written as a sonnet, my only qualm is with the first two lines of the third stanza, where your otherwise perfect iambic pentameter falls off just a bit. In the first line of the stanza, "where" is only secondarily stressed, distracting a bit from the full duh DUH duh DUH rhythm. In the next line, the normal stress on "nowhere" falls on the first syllable, where you need it on the second. Thus, when I read it the first time, I pronounced words as I normally would, and it threw the meter off. To read it in iambic pentameter so that it would flow smoothly, I was forced to adjust the stress in a couple of cases from where it would naturally fall.
As the only rule of the contest was to begin and end with the same word, which you did perfectly, I doubt voters will hold it against you. However, as you did call it a Sonnet, you imposed extra rules on yourself. Were you to take the same liberties with the iambic pentameter in a Sonnet contest, know that sticklers will hold that against you (as I've found out from personal experience, which is why I'm warning you).
Meanwhile, good luck in the contest. If my poem does lose to yours, at least I'll know l lost to a worthy adversary.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
|
Your poem is basically very well written, very funny, very honest - and very likely to beat mine in the competition!
As this is written as a sonnet, my only qualm is with the first two lines of the third stanza, where your otherwise perfect iambic pentameter falls off just a bit. In the first line of the stanza, "where" is only secondarily stressed, distracting a bit from the full duh DUH duh DUH rhythm. In the next line, the normal stress on "nowhere" falls on the first syllable, where you need it on the second. Thus, when I read it the first time, I pronounced words as I normally would, and it threw the meter off. To read it in iambic pentameter so that it would flow smoothly, I was forced to adjust the stress in a couple of cases from where it would naturally fall.
As the only rule of the contest was to begin and end with the same word, which you did perfectly, I doubt voters will hold it against you. However, as you did call it a Sonnet, you imposed extra rules on yourself. Were you to take the same liberties with the iambic pentameter in a Sonnet contest, know that sticklers will hold that against you (as I've found out from personal experience, which is why I'm warning you).
Meanwhile, good luck in the contest. If my poem does lose to yours, at least I'll know l lost to a worthy adversary.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for the fantastic review and for pointing out the goof. I actually think the 'where' still sounds okay but I did change the 'nowhere.' Thank you for catching and mentioning it. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. Best of luck to you as well, Michele. Have a wonderful weekend.
-
Thanks very much, and you have a wonderful weekend as well. I'm so glad I was able to help on that one word. Your poem is so good to start with. Why not make it the best it can be?
-
Yeah, I can't believe I made the 'nowhere' mistake. I guess I was tired and not paying attention. Lol. Thank you again.
-
No problem. We're all human, right, and isn't one of the points of reviewing to have each other's backs and catch what the writer misses (the old "can't see the forest for the trees" scenario)? By the way, I checked out your correction and it works very well.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A great way to take the absence of one's muse and turn it into something amusing.... with great rhyme and rhythm as a plus!! ;) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck with your candid sonnet! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
|
A great way to take the absence of one's muse and turn it into something amusing.... with great rhyme and rhythm as a plus!! ;) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck with your candid sonnet! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for the great review, Yvette. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Have a fantastic weekend.
;)