A Spring Poem
The bursting of rebirth46 total reviews
Comment from Ogden
Hi again, JL. Your poem awakened me to something I never dreamed possible. If you can do it, I hope I can, too. You wrote of being present in the here and now back then. When Spring arrives three weeks hence, I also would like to experience being there and then in the here and now. Even If then and there only will be now and then. (I do yearn for more than here and now.)
But, of course, it all would depend on you JL, and how could I expect you to share your secret with someone who, for all you know, may well be a charlatan? What you have there might be worth a fortune, so keep your cards close to your vest. Or write a book, and you can stop all that worrying.
Don
T
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Hi again, JL. Your poem awakened me to something I never dreamed possible. If you can do it, I hope I can, too. You wrote of being present in the here and now back then. When Spring arrives three weeks hence, I also would like to experience being there and then in the here and now. Even If then and there only will be now and then. (I do yearn for more than here and now.)
But, of course, it all would depend on you JL, and how could I expect you to share your secret with someone who, for all you know, may well be a charlatan? What you have there might be worth a fortune, so keep your cards close to your vest. Or write a book, and you can stop all that worrying.
Don
T
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Don, my friend. Alas, over the past decade I have spent countless hours attempting to arrest my monkey-mind, in order that I can eke out moments of the pure present moment "here and now" spaciousness. Gratefully, with practice, I have found the distinct pleasure of just being. No magic tricks, no secret, and no making it happen -- simply breathing into and allowing the present to expand and overtake all thought. It is, for me, healing and recharging time. Lasting, in the beginning for mere handfuls of seconds to today where many times throughout a 24 hour period I can unplug the monkey mind and just be one with the here and now.
Comment from Gloria ....
I think this is a terrific spring poem, J. The words pop out like bursting blossoms which I see is one of the handful of words you weren't to use in this contest, so very well done on that. You have alluded to all the spring things without stating them directly which is indeed the sign of good poetry.
Excellent write and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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I think this is a terrific spring poem, J. The words pop out like bursting blossoms which I see is one of the handful of words you weren't to use in this contest, so very well done on that. You have alluded to all the spring things without stating them directly which is indeed the sign of good poetry.
Excellent write and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Gloria, I am so very appreciative of your kind words.
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Poet,
Your writing is colourful, evocative and expressive. It is a pity that the metre is disjointed, which destroys the flow of the poem and thus renders it harder to absorb while reading. You obviously have a talent for painting a scene, so I hope you will pay some attention to metre.
Regards Reg
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Dear Poet,
Your writing is colourful, evocative and expressive. It is a pity that the metre is disjointed, which destroys the flow of the poem and thus renders it harder to absorb while reading. You obviously have a talent for painting a scene, so I hope you will pay some attention to metre.
Regards Reg
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Reg,I am very appreciate of your comments and practice away I intend to do with the personal intention toward perfection! I do the contest to practice away from my preferred Free Verse personal poetic voice.
Comment from karenina
There is a quiet serenity to your poem that is almost reverential in tone and that adds such a warmth (like spring sun!) to the overall piece. Your words are beautifully "painted" upon the page--if Monet were a poet, I would think this would be his type of poem! Lovely!--Karenina
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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There is a quiet serenity to your poem that is almost reverential in tone and that adds such a warmth (like spring sun!) to the overall piece. Your words are beautifully "painted" upon the page--if Monet were a poet, I would think this would be his type of poem! Lovely!--Karenina
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Karenina, what a wonderful thought as Monet, perhaps is my favorite of artists with his incredible pastels and muted scenes
Comment from rspoet
Hello JLR,
You've written an excellent poem for the Spring Contest
with some wonderful images and rhymes.
The alliteration and description stand out.
Excellent picture to match
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest
Robert
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Hello JLR,
You've written an excellent poem for the Spring Contest
with some wonderful images and rhymes.
The alliteration and description stand out.
Excellent picture to match
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest
Robert
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Robert thank you for the validation!
Comment from Auryn Eisley
Despite not using a pretty serious list of springtime word choices you have done a fantastic job conjuring up the perfect image of spring. A beautiful submission for the contest. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Despite not using a pretty serious list of springtime word choices you have done a fantastic job conjuring up the perfect image of spring. A beautiful submission for the contest. Best of luck.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Auryn thank you for your review and comments. Smiling back!
Comment from rjuselius
This is a brilliant entry for this particular writing prompt dear anonymous! I like the list of things to watch out for spring. Bravo my friend!
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a humongous hug-it-out hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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This is a brilliant entry for this particular writing prompt dear anonymous! I like the list of things to watch out for spring. Bravo my friend!
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a humongous hug-it-out hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Rebekka, thank you for your review and comments. Smiling back!
Comment from Stephanie Paige
I enjoyed reading your poem. I loved the image you created of the fawns coming out to see the world. Your use of words was nice. Rhyming was not forced. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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I enjoyed reading your poem. I loved the image you created of the fawns coming out to see the world. Your use of words was nice. Rhyming was not forced. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Stephanie, thank you for your review and validation.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a nice lot of alliteration in the lovely Spring poem. You give us all the flora, and the birds and deer. That is what Spring is all about. The blackbird is already building her nest in my garden hedge. I really enjoyed your delightful poem. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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What a nice lot of alliteration in the lovely Spring poem. You give us all the flora, and the birds and deer. That is what Spring is all about. The blackbird is already building her nest in my garden hedge. I really enjoyed your delightful poem. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Sandra, thank you for your review and validation.
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells of the sounds and sights of Spring. It is coming and I can't wait to hear the birds and see the deer. I like the smattering of rhyme and the artwork.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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This poem tells of the sounds and sights of Spring. It is coming and I can't wait to hear the birds and see the deer. I like the smattering of rhyme and the artwork.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Joan, thank you!
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No problem, JLR
Joan
