Wishing Well
The search for wellness and fulfilment.18 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Lisa Congratulations on your placing in this contest A great poem with depth in content meter and rhyme I enjoyed the makeup of this Great work girlfriend Cheers Chris
Hi Lisa Congratulations on your placing in this contest A great poem with depth in content meter and rhyme I enjoyed the makeup of this Great work girlfriend Cheers Chris
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Superb, Lisa! Congratulations on your well-deserved win. Fresh imagery, unforced rhythm and rhyme. Love the alliteration "dusty drought" and (also clever word play!) "windy whim." Cheers. LIZ
Superb, Lisa! Congratulations on your well-deserved win. Fresh imagery, unforced rhythm and rhyme. Love the alliteration "dusty drought" and (also clever word play!) "windy whim." Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
Comment from Sally Law
A wonderful soul searching entry for the rhyming contest, dear Lisa. Sometimes I search for just a shread of faith like your poem alludes to. At least, we have hope. We must always have hope.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal xoxo
A wonderful soul searching entry for the rhyming contest, dear Lisa. Sometimes I search for just a shread of faith like your poem alludes to. At least, we have hope. We must always have hope.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
Comment from patcelaw
Many times in our live we will feel as though we are in a very severe drought in our spirit, but those are the times that we can grow if we will keep going
Patricia
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
Many times in our live we will feel as though we are in a very severe drought in our spirit, but those are the times that we can grow if we will keep going
Patricia
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing. It is hard to keep a spirit of optimism when things are tough, but you are right about self-growth. Maturity and age can bring that perspective.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I feel the depression and desperation in this poem. I also feel a thread of hope running through it, but it is as if these men are old, rather than young -- that they've already suffered some of the blows of life and are just hanging on.
The rhymes and rhythm work very well, and the flow is very smooth, but the struggles are quite apparent.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
I feel the depression and desperation in this poem. I also feel a thread of hope running through it, but it is as if these men are old, rather than young -- that they've already suffered some of the blows of life and are just hanging on.
The rhymes and rhythm work very well, and the flow is very smooth, but the struggles are quite apparent.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
Thanks for your comments. I think the sentiment is one of feeling ground down by life's loneliness, which could make anyone feel old.
-
That's incredibly sad -- it's bad enough to feel old when you're beginning to age, but when you're young... ! These people need a champion, and it's not Rocky.
Pam (respa) just wrote an amazing poem called "My New Decade," with a very refreshing perspective on her advancing years. You should read it too, if you haven't already. I was immensely encouraged.
Comment from juliaSjames
The rhyme, metre and the refrain add a poignant, lyrical nuance to your verse. Very effective imagery for your drought metaphor: husk, barren heart. But the best is the bucket of hope.
You say it's not autobiographical. But from time to time, loneliness flies into all our hearts. Our job is to prevent her building a nest there.
Best of luck in the contest. I haven't a clue what the judges are looking for. Whatever that is, I hope this poem has it.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
The rhyme, metre and the refrain add a poignant, lyrical nuance to your verse. Very effective imagery for your drought metaphor: husk, barren heart. But the best is the bucket of hope.
You say it's not autobiographical. But from time to time, loneliness flies into all our hearts. Our job is to prevent her building a nest there.
Best of luck in the contest. I haven't a clue what the judges are looking for. Whatever that is, I hope this poem has it.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much for this wonderful review. You are entirely right about loneliness making an appearance - I keep the door shut on it but it peeps through the window. I'm fine by myself, but I sometimes get lonely with people who don't 'get' me.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your poem that accompanied an artwork about troubled, young men. Your speaking in the first person adds to the immediacy and your rhymes and repeat are very effective, along with your "husk" metaphor. Best wishes in the contest as well- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
Thank you for sharing your poem that accompanied an artwork about troubled, young men. Your speaking in the first person adds to the immediacy and your rhymes and repeat are very effective, along with your "husk" metaphor. Best wishes in the contest as well- Joan
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
What a lovely review. Thank you so much!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This poem describes the sheer debilitation that is possible with extreme loneliness. Interesting author notes. Favorite line: my horizon's an empty plain. Very interesting last stanza, in that a bucket of hope might be just enough to keep from the edge of hell.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
This poem describes the sheer debilitation that is possible with extreme loneliness. Interesting author notes. Favorite line: my horizon's an empty plain. Very interesting last stanza, in that a bucket of hope might be just enough to keep from the edge of hell.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Louise Michelle
This is very well written, Lisa. Your accompanying notes served to enhance the read. Drought as a metaphor is terrific - a phrase that is easily recognizable. Good job matching words to image. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
This is very well written, Lisa. Your accompanying notes served to enhance the read. Drought as a metaphor is terrific - a phrase that is easily recognizable. Good job matching words to image. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from emmaysavage
What a descriptive picture of what must be a very profound depression. It portrays my own darkest times. This poem flows well and the repeated verse is moving
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
What a descriptive picture of what must be a very profound depression. It portrays my own darkest times. This poem flows well and the repeated verse is moving
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
I'm sad for you that you found this poem similar to your own experience. Thanks for your comments.