Transition
Thoughts in twilight in 100 words15 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Marjon,
Very interesting piece describing a time of day. This would be a very fascinating part of a novel or short story - a transitionary moment... perhaps showing an impending moment of doooooooommm.. ACK~!
But it is not a story. It's just a moment in time. Maybe, at most, a few minutes? There is no arc or plot. There is no climax or satisfying conclusion.
It IS well written and enjoyable. I appreciate very much the talent and effort that went into it. Thank you!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2020
Marjon,
Very interesting piece describing a time of day. This would be a very fascinating part of a novel or short story - a transitionary moment... perhaps showing an impending moment of doooooooommm.. ACK~!
But it is not a story. It's just a moment in time. Maybe, at most, a few minutes? There is no arc or plot. There is no climax or satisfying conclusion.
It IS well written and enjoyable. I appreciate very much the talent and effort that went into it. Thank you!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2020
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Robyn, that is constructive comment! Thank you, I so appreciate that. True, I see it now. It lacks to be a story. And, if I have the time, I will convert it into a short story as you suggested. Thanks again!
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So welcome!
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:)
Comment from May 1
That's such a beautiful way of looking at it. I really like your writing style it's wonderful and easy to read. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and I think it's a great writing prompt entry.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
That's such a beautiful way of looking at it. I really like your writing style it's wonderful and easy to read. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and I think it's a great writing prompt entry.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
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May 1, Thank you so much. This is a kind comment.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 100 Word Flash Fiction writing prompt.
This short story describes the evening.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
I think this is a good entry for the 100 Word Flash Fiction writing prompt.
This short story describes the evening.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Sharon, thank you very much. The stars are shining!
Comment from rockmann
If a story is supposed to transport the reader into a certain place or situation, yours did exactly that. I could easily close my eyes and visualize what you described. Don't let twilight leave you gloomy. It is a time to reflect on the day's activities, and possibly look forward to what is ahead. Well written, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
If a story is supposed to transport the reader into a certain place or situation, yours did exactly that. I could easily close my eyes and visualize what you described. Don't let twilight leave you gloomy. It is a time to reflect on the day's activities, and possibly look forward to what is ahead. Well written, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Rockman, I am thankful for the five stars and the nice comment. Don't worry! I am not too gloomy and when it gets too dark and I can't see the things around me anymore, I light the lamps!
Comment from Susan Larson
I hope this isn't really fiction and that such a scenario really exists. "Sun and moon seem set to hustle" "pretend that daylight never fades." "detergent bright." "Night's black agent " You didn't even need a picture to go with this!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
I hope this isn't really fiction and that such a scenario really exists. "Sun and moon seem set to hustle" "pretend that daylight never fades." "detergent bright." "Night's black agent " You didn't even need a picture to go with this!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Thank you Susan for your review. I see that you like the same things as I do. Looking with attention at our surroundings and note the special moments in every situation...isn't that what poets and writers do?
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"To see what everyone has seen and think what no one has thought...." anonymous Those words are framed next to my computer. Am I allowed to tell you who I voted for?
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Oooooh, suspense...Lol. And thanks.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a beautifully crafted piece of prose dear anonymous! The imagery is exquisite and insightful.
Bravo my friend!
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
This is a beautifully crafted piece of prose dear anonymous! The imagery is exquisite and insightful.
Bravo my friend!
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
blessings and a larger than life hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Rebekka, what a lovely review! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Comment from Natalie Goodwin
This is excellent flash fiction. I love your descriptions of detergent bright daisies anod the light changing into a deep indigo. You have described vividly the transition from day into night.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
This is excellent flash fiction. I love your descriptions of detergent bright daisies anod the light changing into a deep indigo. You have described vividly the transition from day into night.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, Natalie!
Comment from Tami Urbanek
Very nice piece! You showed the transition between day and evening beautifully. For me, it's a time of reflection of the day-perhaps an appreciation. I like your word choices as well.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
Very nice piece! You showed the transition between day and evening beautifully. For me, it's a time of reflection of the day-perhaps an appreciation. I like your word choices as well.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Tami, appreciated!
Comment from Bichon
You have excellently described the atmosphere and environment of twilights transition in this 100 word story, great job! I felt immersed and like I was actually there myself.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
You have excellently described the atmosphere and environment of twilights transition in this 100 word story, great job! I felt immersed and like I was actually there myself.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Bichon, thank you so much. This is a very nice comment.
Comment from jenintorre
I enjoyed reading your 100 word flash fiction and think it is a very good entry for the competition. You set the scene so well with your words that create an incredible atmosphere. Good luck and best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
I enjoyed reading your 100 word flash fiction and think it is a very good entry for the competition. You set the scene so well with your words that create an incredible atmosphere. Good luck and best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Jen, Thank you very much for your comment. Made me feel good!
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So glad I made you feel good. That makes me feel good. Jen x
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Nice! We both feel good then.
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Thank you very much, Jen.