Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Truths!"Experiences of living
240 total reviews
Comment from meeshu
a very interesting write, we all need lies from time to time. we would be at each others throats without them. liked the last line, clever..........meeshu
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a very interesting write, we all need lies from time to time. we would be at each others throats without them. liked the last line, clever..........meeshu
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from Anne B Francis
I so hate lies you cannot rust a liar and they do it so blatant even two inches from your face - No it's not a joy do not hide behind a lie for sooner or later you will be found out.
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I so hate lies you cannot rust a liar and they do it so blatant even two inches from your face - No it's not a joy do not hide behind a lie for sooner or later you will be found out.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
I have absolutely no understanding at all of what I have just attempted to read.
Poetically, your offering does not resonate with me.
Grammatically, I am at a loss of such terms as "dimen," "joy hide," "Under new rule ride."
I love experimental poetry, but I am afraid this offering is too fragmented to make sense.
diane
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Hello!
I have absolutely no understanding at all of what I have just attempted to read.
Poetically, your offering does not resonate with me.
Grammatically, I am at a loss of such terms as "dimen," "joy hide," "Under new rule ride."
I love experimental poetry, but I am afraid this offering is too fragmented to make sense.
diane
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from Air Spirit
Your poetry is most interesting - somewhat cryptic and challenging too, but unique, thought provoking and original. The art of lying and deceiving is a game that can't be won - for the rule of truth comes back to bite!
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Your poetry is most interesting - somewhat cryptic and challenging too, but unique, thought provoking and original. The art of lying and deceiving is a game that can't be won - for the rule of truth comes back to bite!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from Shanbreen
This is a very interesting 5-7-5-7-7 poem.It can be seen through different angles and provide different meanings, but your subtle meaning behind "new rule" is obvious (at least for me) =).
Just one thing: Instead of "What a joy hide!" how about, "A joy to hide! -- It keeps with the 7 syllable requirement of the entire line and also reduces the grammatical shortcomings of "What a joy hide." I know that poems are often written in this manner, but in my opinion, if doesn't seem in tandem with the rest of the lines.
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This is a very interesting 5-7-5-7-7 poem.It can be seen through different angles and provide different meanings, but your subtle meaning behind "new rule" is obvious (at least for me) =).
Just one thing: Instead of "What a joy hide!" how about, "A joy to hide! -- It keeps with the 7 syllable requirement of the entire line and also reduces the grammatical shortcomings of "What a joy hide." I know that poems are often written in this manner, but in my opinion, if doesn't seem in tandem with the rest of the lines.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from donette1914
wow simply brilliant!
there are so many talented people out there and you are one
thank you for sharing
it was an honor
very nice artwork
donette1914 Aug 8, 2018
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wow simply brilliant!
there are so many talented people out there and you are one
thank you for sharing
it was an honor
very nice artwork
donette1914 Aug 8, 2018
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from robyn corum
hahaha!
Thanks for the fun game in a poem, A. I saw the word immediately - though it helped that you had highlighted it, too. *smile* I love the message you're sharing about the dangers of lying. Thanks!
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hahaha!
Thanks for the fun game in a poem, A. I saw the word immediately - though it helped that you had highlighted it, too. *smile* I love the message you're sharing about the dangers of lying. Thanks!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is an excellent poem and a very nice picture of Chaz Bono. It's too bad there wasn't a contest category for it. You would have had sure winner on your hands.
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This is an excellent poem and a very nice picture of Chaz Bono. It's too bad there wasn't a contest category for it. You would have had sure winner on your hands.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from TKField
Sorry, but this doesn't begin to make sense. It says nothing relevant or even understandable about truth, lies and the differences or similarities contained therein. Lines like...."Under new rule ride, Escape, void, love for self-pride" defy interpretation. What does that mean? Who knows, who cares? This is poor, lazy, sloppy writing, plain and simple. I won't sugarcoat it or blow sunshine up your kilt. The exclamation points don't help in any way. I would suggest you study sentence structure and the use of the definite article, and how verbs and nouns interact to construct and convey coherent thoughts. People giving this five stars are doing you no favors. Your writing needs a lot of work and should start with mastering the basics of the English language which I strongly suspect is not your primary tongue. Good luck.
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Sorry, but this doesn't begin to make sense. It says nothing relevant or even understandable about truth, lies and the differences or similarities contained therein. Lines like...."Under new rule ride, Escape, void, love for self-pride" defy interpretation. What does that mean? Who knows, who cares? This is poor, lazy, sloppy writing, plain and simple. I won't sugarcoat it or blow sunshine up your kilt. The exclamation points don't help in any way. I would suggest you study sentence structure and the use of the definite article, and how verbs and nouns interact to construct and convey coherent thoughts. People giving this five stars are doing you no favors. Your writing needs a lot of work and should start with mastering the basics of the English language which I strongly suspect is not your primary tongue. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
Comment from royowen
Well done. You've penned a great poem here, dedicated to the truth. Yes, if people only knew and understood what truth is, they might well turn the troubles of this earth around. Well done, blessings, Roy
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Well done. You've penned a great poem here, dedicated to the truth. Yes, if people only knew and understood what truth is, they might well turn the troubles of this earth around. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
