Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Truths!"Experiences of living
240 total reviews
Comment from Margokatt
you are going to make a fan out of me. . . not only of your work which you are finally sharing but of the tanka. . .tankas very much seem to reel me into the poignant truths you have secreted for so long while reviewing and earning points to free publishing. :) great job. MK
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you are going to make a fan out of me. . . not only of your work which you are finally sharing but of the tanka. . .tankas very much seem to reel me into the poignant truths you have secreted for so long while reviewing and earning points to free publishing. :) great job. MK
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from sellgirls
How creatively you speak of lying, within the "truth". Clever as always, with a lot more here than one might realize at first. It can be so much easier to lie than tell the truth, especially if you don't get caught! ;-)
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How creatively you speak of lying, within the "truth". Clever as always, with a lot more here than one might realize at first. It can be so much easier to lie than tell the truth, especially if you don't get caught! ;-)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from KING SLATON
I am sorry to say that this piece must have went over my head. In all honesty, I simply did not grasp the meaning of this work as I'm certain others will.
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I am sorry to say that this piece must have went over my head. In all honesty, I simply did not grasp the meaning of this work as I'm certain others will.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from StrangeNJ
I don't think this is my style of poetry. I like it, but I don't understand what you are saying. I know it's a puzzle, but that has always been my weakness in life.
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I don't think this is my style of poetry. I like it, but I don't understand what you are saying. I know it's a puzzle, but that has always been my weakness in life.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
I like your tanka poem it has strength and definitely gives the readers something to think about I like it for its originality regards Fuller
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I like your tanka poem it has strength and definitely gives the readers something to think about I like it for its originality regards Fuller
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from shelley kaye
the last two lines are great!
but
the first two is where the flow gets "tripped"
like it's random words making a sentence :-P
anyway, all in all, an interesting write
thanx for sharing :-)
"Escape, wink, avoid in self-pride
So I lie; what a joy hide!"
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the last two lines are great!
but
the first two is where the flow gets "tripped"
like it's random words making a sentence :-P
anyway, all in all, an interesting write
thanx for sharing :-)
"Escape, wink, avoid in self-pride
So I lie; what a joy hide!"
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from sandramarie
What an interesting little poem. Your choice and use of words is exceptional. I just learned what Tanka is! Thanks for sharing.
Sandy
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What an interesting little poem. Your choice and use of words is exceptional. I just learned what Tanka is! Thanks for sharing.
Sandy
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from 96744mom
Okay, now I see...the form of this piece is simple, short and fun to work with. You presented a clearer picture for me this time, thank you. Is'nt is true how some people would do exactly what you've written? No changes are needed. Thank you for sharing.
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Okay, now I see...the form of this piece is simple, short and fun to work with. You presented a clearer picture for me this time, thank you. Is'nt is true how some people would do exactly what you've written? No changes are needed. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from Adora Bayles
Dear Alcreator: You certainly don't blow your mistique, do you? In and out. Quick. Wink and hike!
Nice little piece, short and sweet, large on truth. Or the truth of deception.
Adora
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Dear Alcreator: You certainly don't blow your mistique, do you? In and out. Quick. Wink and hike!
Nice little piece, short and sweet, large on truth. Or the truth of deception.
Adora
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from mswritealot
Almost perfect, the second to last line contains 8 syllables. Fix it before the Fanstory police arrest you. I love the tanka, sharing a bit of you with us, your truth of yourself at first redeeming and true to form you take the truth of hiding as it fits comfortably. Well written Rosie
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Almost perfect, the second to last line contains 8 syllables. Fix it before the Fanstory police arrest you. I love the tanka, sharing a bit of you with us, your truth of yourself at first redeeming and true to form you take the truth of hiding as it fits comfortably. Well written Rosie
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
