Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Truths!"Experiences of living
240 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Okay now that was a doubly creative Tanka. Good job on the wording and format, especially considering you had to also line up the words for the added challenge. Nice work!
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Okay now that was a doubly creative Tanka. Good job on the wording and format, especially considering you had to also line up the words for the added challenge. Nice work!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2006
Comment from tuskantail
I loved it. You've played round with it enough to call it your own. As you may know, I did a similar thing on the rictameter and all the feedback I received was positive. (well, almost all) I loved the acrostic trues, and ABSOLUTELY loved the rhyme. Write more of these please.
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I loved it. You've played round with it enough to call it your own. As you may know, I did a similar thing on the rictameter and all the feedback I received was positive. (well, almost all) I loved the acrostic trues, and ABSOLUTELY loved the rhyme. Write more of these please.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2006
Comment from RaymondJohn
Anotehr new-fangled poem that old guys like me have a hard time understanding. Actually I don't. I like the images you compress into a very rigid structure. Other than that, I can't be very critical. Thanks for ginving me an opportunity to read this. Ray.
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Anotehr new-fangled poem that old guys like me have a hard time understanding. Actually I don't. I like the images you compress into a very rigid structure. Other than that, I can't be very critical. Thanks for ginving me an opportunity to read this. Ray.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2006
Comment from luna
Does it have to do with rhyming the last four lines? Another excellent tanka poem. I take great pleasure in reading and reviewing your work. You really are developing into an excellent talent.
Yours,
Jenny
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Does it have to do with rhyming the last four lines? Another excellent tanka poem. I take great pleasure in reading and reviewing your work. You really are developing into an excellent talent.
Yours,
Jenny
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from National Scholar
What a true feeling, on truths, truthfully put in Tanka. Hohohoho! The poet speaks the true feeling and sentiment about speaking truth, suppressing and avoiding and the ecstasy in not speaking truth. So clear is the thought, nicely flown in Tanka. Yes, I accept the challenge, there is another truth --- it has an acrostic TRUES I read. Excellent at every bit.
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What a true feeling, on truths, truthfully put in Tanka. Hohohoho! The poet speaks the true feeling and sentiment about speaking truth, suppressing and avoiding and the ecstasy in not speaking truth. So clear is the thought, nicely flown in Tanka. Yes, I accept the challenge, there is another truth --- it has an acrostic TRUES I read. Excellent at every bit.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from lwel
I don't understand your challenge. The first two lines I think should end in different words....something like
Right! I suppress, it soothes... that way you have a bit a pause and makes the other commas better....
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I don't understand your challenge. The first two lines I think should end in different words....something like
Right! I suppress, it soothes... that way you have a bit a pause and makes the other commas better....
Comment Written 01-Apr-2006
Comment from VICTIMEYES
well writer in this piece speaks truth, in the form of truth lettin us know that this truth thing is not something easily spoken.
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well writer in this piece speaks truth, in the form of truth lettin us know that this truth thing is not something easily spoken.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2006
Comment from Zenbud
Well, it could be a senryu except it has eight syllables in the second line - the different way you put your verse together is challenging, to say the least. However, fun . . . Zen
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Well, it could be a senryu except it has eight syllables in the second line - the different way you put your verse together is challenging, to say the least. However, fun . . . Zen
Comment Written 01-Apr-2006
Comment from chelsmor
This one I came back to twice, read it several times, tried to find your challenge, but I think I only see the original poem - which, by the way, is unique and well written enough without the extra surprise layer:)
I do see that the first letter of each word coming down the left hand side spells
T
R
U
E
S
and that might be what you mean:) It's fun, ayway.
And I love the twist on the words,
So I lie! What a joy hide.
Fun.
Warm wishes,
Chelsmor
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This one I came back to twice, read it several times, tried to find your challenge, but I think I only see the original poem - which, by the way, is unique and well written enough without the extra surprise layer:)
I do see that the first letter of each word coming down the left hand side spells
T
R
U
E
S
and that might be what you mean:) It's fun, ayway.
And I love the twist on the words,
So I lie! What a joy hide.
Fun.
Warm wishes,
Chelsmor
Comment Written 31-Mar-2006
Comment from celebrity_pets
Oh very nice, I love the way you presented this, but wont give it away, save to say that I'll wink and avoid the truth displayed in a downright forthright manner, EXCELLENT tanka, I wanted a comma after joy... but can see it without and probably more fitting given the nature of this piece, so I'll be ignoring literary view:)
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Oh very nice, I love the way you presented this, but wont give it away, save to say that I'll wink and avoid the truth displayed in a downright forthright manner, EXCELLENT tanka, I wanted a comma after joy... but can see it without and probably more fitting given the nature of this piece, so I'll be ignoring literary view:)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2006
