Syllable Counts ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Review Best Forgotten "Anything to do with syllables
12 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5 on something lost, A Review Best Forgotten, has the right set up and deals with lost virginity on the kitchen floor. Some people use a bed or a couch.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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This 5-7-5 on something lost, A Review Best Forgotten, has the right set up and deals with lost virginity on the kitchen floor. Some people use a bed or a couch.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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well why be traditional when your in a lustful hurry ...
Comment from Dancemom
This is a well-written poem for the lost 575 contest. This is very creative to use virginity as something lost. It definitely is.
Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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This is a well-written poem for the lost 575 contest. This is very creative to use virginity as something lost. It definitely is.
Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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Excellent many thanks and just remember just because we dont always agree with someone getting a five dont mean you can come round and rape us !!! Glad you enjoyed I liked it glad you could to.
Comment from Mia Twysted
The picture mixed with the poem sure leaves an image with the mind. We've all had those teenage desires that leave us with memories that sometimes we like to keep lost.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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The picture mixed with the poem sure leaves an image with the mind. We've all had those teenage desires that leave us with memories that sometimes we like to keep lost.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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Excellent i thought Id have a little excursion with this one to see how everyone reacted to it it seems we cant really be innocent unless we're always getting fives ...
Comment from Mrs. KT
Well, Mystery Writer,
I have never affixed a 1-star rating to anyone's writing on FanStory since I joined in 2007, but this work is beyond offensive - with or without warning -for the following reasons:
1. This is not poetry; it is a vulgar display - masking as humor - of male prowess and dominance over a virgin - biographical, no less.
2. Reads more like an act of violence than consensual teenage experimentation.
3. "Virgin's body taught?" What did your action teach? Even worse if you mean, "taut."
4. "I was called flash for a while which was a popular floor cleaning agent..." You bragged about this act afterward? You likened yourself to a "floor cleaning agent?"
5. Even the title makes no sense: A Night Forgotten? Hardly. How about: A Night Best Forgotten
I do not find the humor or the relevance of this piece whatsoever. In fact, I find it disgusting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Well, Mystery Writer,
I have never affixed a 1-star rating to anyone's writing on FanStory since I joined in 2007, but this work is beyond offensive - with or without warning -for the following reasons:
1. This is not poetry; it is a vulgar display - masking as humor - of male prowess and dominance over a virgin - biographical, no less.
2. Reads more like an act of violence than consensual teenage experimentation.
3. "Virgin's body taught?" What did your action teach? Even worse if you mean, "taut."
4. "I was called flash for a while which was a popular floor cleaning agent..." You bragged about this act afterward? You likened yourself to a "floor cleaning agent?"
5. Even the title makes no sense: A Night Forgotten? Hardly. How about: A Night Best Forgotten
I do not find the humor or the relevance of this piece whatsoever. In fact, I find it disgusting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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well since were not allowed to defend our work I'll correct your perspective on the idea of the piece ...
1 well the piece is syllables which is your first point and it wasnt male prowess and dominance over a virgin as a matter of fact it was the other way around.
2 what exactly does dedrapravity of rape that your mind alludes to have to do with a consentual sexual relationship ???
3 Well my body got taught lots of things especially when you read the word right as taught as in teach which you should go and learn about not taut I dont even see that in the writing you must have a mystical mind.
4 No not me bragging about it it was actual some friends of mine who got told about it from the girl ... As for this one how about a review that should never have been written lol.
actually your review has no relevance and I actually find you quite disgusting ...
Comment from lyenochka
So I guess what was lost was the "virginity?" and your punchline made a pun of "taught"/"taut." I do like the humorous picture of the "Flash" floor cleaner.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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So I guess what was lost was the "virginity?" and your punchline made a pun of "taught"/"taut." I do like the humorous picture of the "Flash" floor cleaner.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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You got it though I did not intend for the pun as it been pointed out but that just makes it even more humorous ... I thought the picture would be the best dedication I could give lol.
Comment from Raul1
I think that this poem has a very good chance of winning the contest! I like this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Nice job. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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I think that this poem has a very good chance of winning the contest! I like this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Nice job. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Excellent thank you for the reassurance heres hoping
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You're welcome.
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THANK YOU.
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You're welcome.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I already knew what was happening by the time I was a teenager but, I must say I wondered about the more direct approach of an encounter. I think this one pretty much sums up what happens not only for the young lady but for the lad as well. A grand entry into this one. Lost! or is it found!? Great write. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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I already knew what was happening by the time I was a teenager but, I must say I wondered about the more direct approach of an encounter. I think this one pretty much sums up what happens not only for the young lady but for the lad as well. A grand entry into this one. Lost! or is it found!? Great write. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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I wonder lost or found? well, in a strange sense it was found and never lost its appeal, so, I suppose, losing was really winning lol.
Comment from Gypsymooncat
I remember Flash! We had it here in Australia, and I think my mother used to use it.
"virgin's body taught" - very clever line, as it could also be taken as "virgin's body taut".
So few words, but I get the gist lol! It must've been cold and hard on that kitchen floor tho'...
Good luck!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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I remember Flash! We had it here in Australia, and I think my mother used to use it.
"virgin's body taught" - very clever line, as it could also be taken as "virgin's body taut".
So few words, but I get the gist lol! It must've been cold and hard on that kitchen floor tho'...
Good luck!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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I didn't worry about that so long as we did not get caught and have to make a sharp exit instead of staying up and pretending we've just been watching the T.V.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Fresh twist on phrases: penis erect vs the usual erect penis. I'm curious re virgin's body--is your use of taught (as in, learned a lesson!) a sly play on the expected "taut" as in tight? If so, clever indeed. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Fresh twist on phrases: penis erect vs the usual erect penis. I'm curious re virgin's body--is your use of taught (as in, learned a lesson!) a sly play on the expected "taut" as in tight? If so, clever indeed. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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You got It I had to learn just like everyone else though I never thought of myself as a sexual God or sexercise guru it was fun but you got to start somewhere
Comment from moongirlwriter
So sorry. . .I sure don't get this. Maybe it was much later than when I was a teen? This makes it really difficult to relate to and give you a great review. Life is all about biology and the milestones. . .I think that is what this poem is about. The best to you with this piece of writing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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So sorry. . .I sure don't get this. Maybe it was much later than when I was a teen? This makes it really difficult to relate to and give you a great review. Life is all about biology and the milestones. . .I think that is what this poem is about. The best to you with this piece of writing.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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well over here in Scotland the age of consent is sixteen how cool and I was just a teen it was great life in the fast lane living the dream.
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Scotland is quite different than growing up in a Midwest German home in the US back in the 60's. For a guy, I'm sure you loved every minute. :)
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I'm quite sure it was wonderful for EVERY guy growing up in Scotland. I grew up in the 60's, in a Midwest German home in the US. And I'm a girl. :)
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not to worry ...
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:)
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When I was younger we had a whale of a time especially when we were at school every ounce of curiosity wanted to be satisfied that included girls ... I remember my first date ... I was supposed to meet my arranged date at the town cinema, a great new movie had been released, when I was at home after school deliberating what would I do and how it would affect me I decided not to go and not tell anyone ... bad mistake .. when I got to school the next day I thought I could evade my previous nights date and pretend it was all a big misunderstanding but as I soon learnt and at an early age may I say ... just fourteen ... my girlfriend had a mind and emotions too ... so when she cornered me in the school corridor I was filled with dread as my judgement was sounded out to me ... YOU STOOD ME UP LAST NIGHT !!! ... and with that I got a great big slap on my right cheek ... it didn't half hurt ... but it was a valuable lesson ... I never did that again. I only ever got slapped again by one other woman and it wasn't my mother ...
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... and it wasn't for standing her up on a date either ...lol.
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I'm sure it was most pleasurable for her as well. :))))))
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well the first time was a girlfriend who I stayed in a relationship with so that wasn't so bad as for the date shes still a distant friend as for the other she was a long term relationship now belonging in the distant past ...
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You undoubtedly deserved it? Those first milestones are ones not ever forgotten. . . and often good lessons for future interpersonal relationships. I think we've all been there and done that. :)