Grief Engulfed My Heart
A Poem18 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a heartbreaking poem, kahpot. Your words flow smoothly although they are poignant. Good job with the end rhyme of heart/part and internal rhyme wife/life. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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This is a heartbreaking poem, kahpot. Your words flow smoothly although they are poignant. Good job with the end rhyme of heart/part and internal rhyme wife/life. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you Jan, for your heartfelt review, life along with my writing is on the improve, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from June Sargent
The loss of a loved one - especially a mate - can be devastating. The grief can rob us of our desire to live - leaving a hardened empty shell without a soul. This piece captures that dark emptiness very well.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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The loss of a loved one - especially a mate - can be devastating. The grief can rob us of our desire to live - leaving a hardened empty shell without a soul. This piece captures that dark emptiness very well.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and comments, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from estory
Nice sense of dramatic rhythm here, particularly in the ending, when all those repeating 'my wife, my life, my everlasting happiness' winds in on that closing image, 'dark'. We really see all the happiness embodied in your partner disappearing and leaving you alone and in the dark. Nice use of rhythm and nice use of images to create the articulation of the theme. estory
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Nice sense of dramatic rhythm here, particularly in the ending, when all those repeating 'my wife, my life, my everlasting happiness' winds in on that closing image, 'dark'. We really see all the happiness embodied in your partner disappearing and leaving you alone and in the dark. Nice use of rhythm and nice use of images to create the articulation of the theme. estory
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank for your wonderful review and inspiring comments, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gail Denham
Yes, you express well that emotion. The poem is powerful in its statement. The last line is strong. "faded to a constant dark" - still, as a Christian, I do have hope of the future.
Good poem
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Yes, you express well that emotion. The poem is powerful in its statement. The last line is strong. "faded to a constant dark" - still, as a Christian, I do have hope of the future.
Good poem
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank for your great review and comments, I too hold on to hope, very much appreciated
Comment from Susan Larson
Oh, I can feel your grief. You did a beautiful job with your rhyming scheme of heart, part and dark and wife, life. Please accept my condolences. The picture you used tells it all.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Oh, I can feel your grief. You did a beautiful job with your rhyming scheme of heart, part and dark and wife, life. Please accept my condolences. The picture you used tells it all.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank for this wonderful review and your kind wishes, very much appreciated
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
The pain of your loss comes across so strong in your words. I was particularly moved by the words "death stole my living part." This is a phrase that can only be conceived by the soul of a true poet. Thank you for sharing this tender piece.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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The pain of your loss comes across so strong in your words. I was particularly moved by the words "death stole my living part." This is a phrase that can only be conceived by the soul of a true poet. Thank you for sharing this tender piece.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much for this great understanding review and comments, very much appreciated
Comment from Therese Caron
This is a great demonstration of grief. The first line is the most powerful of all. The image is outstanding and really enhances your writing. I was very impressed with the last line also. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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This is a great demonstration of grief. The first line is the most powerful of all. The image is outstanding and really enhances your writing. I was very impressed with the last line also. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your great review and comments, very much appreciated
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is really good and very intense. It speaks of great loss. You've expressed great feelings and emotions in this that can be felt. I enjoyed reading this sad but very well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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This is really good and very intense. It speaks of great loss. You've expressed great feelings and emotions in this that can be felt. I enjoyed reading this sad but very well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful review, very much appreciated
Comment from rspoet
You've written an excellent tanka for the feelings contest
with strong emotion and very good imagery.
The one problem as a tanka is the third line usually
completes the first three (like a haiku) but the "my" on the end
defeats that purpose. (you might just remove the word "tanka")
the poem itself is very well done.
Good luck in the contest
Robert
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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You've written an excellent tanka for the feelings contest
with strong emotion and very good imagery.
The one problem as a tanka is the third line usually
completes the first three (like a haiku) but the "my" on the end
defeats that purpose. (you might just remove the word "tanka")
the poem itself is very well done.
Good luck in the contest
Robert
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much, and yes you are quite correct
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I feel the grief here in your sorrowful words, I am sorry for your loss. Your everlasting happiness has been stolen, I can identify with your words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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I feel the grief here in your sorrowful words, I am sorry for your loss. Your everlasting happiness has been stolen, I can identify with your words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much
