My haibun
Searching for each other11 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem about the missing haibun that ignored you for months. No inspiration or idea comes to mind until out of the blue he appears with loads of inspiring ideas.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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A very well-written heartfelt poem about the missing haibun that ignored you for months. No inspiration or idea comes to mind until out of the blue he appears with loads of inspiring ideas.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from padumachitta
Hello and wow
Geez this haibun is full of emotion and longing. It's a good style for this, but youth I hope that the writer and muse came a little closer, the distance little lessened.
My suggestion (though I love this style I'm no expert:-) would be: to spare up the text part. ie: I grow weaker, wither on your creative vine. The text is wonderful, full of great images and emotions,... can you tighten it a bit?
I really think this is super, my suggestions are coming from a place of 'feeling' that it's not quite finished...
padumachitta
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Hello and wow
Geez this haibun is full of emotion and longing. It's a good style for this, but youth I hope that the writer and muse came a little closer, the distance little lessened.
My suggestion (though I love this style I'm no expert:-) would be: to spare up the text part. ie: I grow weaker, wither on your creative vine. The text is wonderful, full of great images and emotions,... can you tighten it a bit?
I really think this is super, my suggestions are coming from a place of 'feeling' that it's not quite finished...
padumachitta
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thanks for the great review and the suggestion. Adjusted.
Comment from Minglement
Oh, I love this juxtaposition of communication between poem and poet, poet and poem. I have to agree with the poet :) 'You could never be written on demand.' Beautifully executed with clever phraseology. Loved the ships in the night concept.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Oh, I love this juxtaposition of communication between poem and poet, poet and poem. I have to agree with the poet :) 'You could never be written on demand.' Beautifully executed with clever phraseology. Loved the ships in the night concept.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thanks for the awesome review. And for me that is true of the haibun. Must wait till it is ready to be written.
Comment from Lil' Mormon Boy
This doesn't sound like writers block to me!
I thought you used your word masterfully. You had a great story that happens to poets more often than not.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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This doesn't sound like writers block to me!
I thought you used your word masterfully. You had a great story that happens to poets more often than not.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Joan E.
Welcome back--a great way to start February 2020 and the beginning of a productive, new year! I relished your "metronome" and "ships" metaphors and salute your "prayer". Your parallel artwork selection is divine. Big cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Welcome back--a great way to start February 2020 and the beginning of a productive, new year! I relished your "metronome" and "ships" metaphors and salute your "prayer". Your parallel artwork selection is divine. Big cheers- Joan
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thanks. Joan. How have you been? Just popped in for a quick hello. Have been very busy with other writing projects. New book of poetry out around March. Publisher waiting on jacket cover. Didn't like the first one. Will announce here once it is out. Titled Kaleidoscope.
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Congratulations on having your new book of poetry almost ready for release. Good luck in getting a satisfactory cover. I finished the year with the flu even though I had the shot in October. It took four weeks to recover--so take good care of yourself- Joan
Comment from Cindy Warren
I find that if I try to write anything on demand, I end up deleting most of it. Many of my characters must wonder what has happened to me since I had to return to work. My best writing happens late at night, long after I have to be in bed these days. I can identify with your little poem. My brain just doesn't want to co-operate with my muse.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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I find that if I try to write anything on demand, I end up deleting most of it. Many of my characters must wonder what has happened to me since I had to return to work. My best writing happens late at night, long after I have to be in bed these days. I can identify with your little poem. My brain just doesn't want to co-operate with my muse.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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I used to do a lot of my wring at night. But I am trying to change that habit as I only work part time now and hav discovered as I age that my mind functions better when I get more than 5 or 6 hours sleep.
Comment from royowen
I just wrote something mirrors this beautiful offering, I really enjoyed this brilliantly written haibun, (haven't read one for ages) the last words in my work were..."what's hidden in darkness, can be hidden in light" come to think of it, I haven't a posting of yours for ages, well done, excellent post, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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I just wrote something mirrors this beautiful offering, I really enjoyed this brilliantly written haibun, (haven't read one for ages) the last words in my work were..."what's hidden in darkness, can be hidden in light" come to think of it, I haven't a posting of yours for ages, well done, excellent post, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Roy. Have been really involved in other writing projects. Have a new book due out early March titled Kaleidoscope. It is a poetry book.
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Well done, that explains it, well done
Comment from nancyjam
A haibun poem waiting to be written, hoping the poet's muse will come to life before it turns to ashes. Meanwhile is begging the haibun to speak to her.
This is written so well and so cleverly in great Haibun form.
I enjoyed reading it. Nice to see you back again.
Nancy
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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A haibun poem waiting to be written, hoping the poet's muse will come to life before it turns to ashes. Meanwhile is begging the haibun to speak to her.
This is written so well and so cleverly in great Haibun form.
I enjoyed reading it. Nice to see you back again.
Nancy
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Bicpen
Excellent this is truly magical and the things poets dream about ... lifting a veil on the predictable it is resolute in its command and delivers an execution which melts on the tongue. Magical yes but not mystical it is real living flesh and blood with life and charm happiness uniqueness character eloquence possibly ... just possibly ... a soul!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Excellent this is truly magical and the things poets dream about ... lifting a veil on the predictable it is resolute in its command and delivers an execution which melts on the tongue. Magical yes but not mystical it is real living flesh and blood with life and charm happiness uniqueness character eloquence possibly ... just possibly ... a soul!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the excellent review. Appreciated.
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anytime ...
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Wonderful! Clever and fresh. Poetry grousing to the poet for neglect and the poet blaming poetry right back. Love the plaintive battle cries. Cheers. LIZ
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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Wonderful! Clever and fresh. Poetry grousing to the poet for neglect and the poet blaming poetry right back. Love the plaintive battle cries. Cheers. LIZ
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the great review.