Sleep
Free verse17 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Carol,
Magnificent imagery in your free verse poem on sleep
or the lack of that desired refuge often found in sleep.
The restless mind clings to thought and won't let go.
"feet padding stepping-stones across curls of water"
"a frog makes jumping in still water again and again"
"my body restless as dry grass"
I like the freedom from punctuation, as it enhances the
dream-like state.
Well done
Best wishes to you and a peaceful night of sleep.
Robert
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
  |
Hello Carol,
Magnificent imagery in your free verse poem on sleep
or the lack of that desired refuge often found in sleep.
The restless mind clings to thought and won't let go.
"feet padding stepping-stones across curls of water"
"a frog makes jumping in still water again and again"
"my body restless as dry grass"
I like the freedom from punctuation, as it enhances the
dream-like state.
Well done
Best wishes to you and a peaceful night of sleep.
Robert
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for this, Robert, I am so behind on my reviews! I really appreciate your support and kind words here :))
Carol
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork, Carol.
-I like your poem,
and it flows well
from image to image.
-The lack of punctuation
does not interfere with that.
-The imagery is effective,
"the night like black velvet"
-I enjoyed your poem.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
 |
-Nice artwork, Carol.
-I like your poem,
and it flows well
from image to image.
-The lack of punctuation
does not interfere with that.
-The imagery is effective,
"the night like black velvet"
-I enjoyed your poem.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
-
Thank you, Pam :))
Carol
-
You are welcome, Carol.
Comment from Pantygynt
Inevitably the reverse personification of the frog-like snoring drew me back to the world of haiku -- the famous one where the frog jumps into the pond.
Sleeplessness is a curse to the insomniac, but if it goes on stimulating free verse like this it is a blessing on your readers.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
|
Inevitably the reverse personification of the frog-like snoring drew me back to the world of haiku -- the famous one where the frog jumps into the pond.
Sleeplessness is a curse to the insomniac, but if it goes on stimulating free verse like this it is a blessing on your readers.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
-
I usually can sleep, but then P says I snore. Well this time HE was making the worst breathing sounds, I couldn't take it. Not exactly like frogs jumping, but...creative license :))
Carol
Comment from Sugarray77
I like your phrases you have chosen to describe sleep inducing thoughts, yet still it is not enough to allow you to be free of tension. I understood many of the examples..well chosen examples.. of ways to fall asleep. I hope you slumber away as I write this from the East Coast. Good write, Carol.
Melissa
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
|
I like your phrases you have chosen to describe sleep inducing thoughts, yet still it is not enough to allow you to be free of tension. I understood many of the examples..well chosen examples.. of ways to fall asleep. I hope you slumber away as I write this from the East Coast. Good write, Carol.
Melissa
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much!
Carol
Comment from Minglement
I really enjoyed this meandering free verse, mimicking our journey when sleep evades us, an all too common problem for many of us. Nice presentation from the perfect illustration to your word pictures. Well done :)
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
|
I really enjoyed this meandering free verse, mimicking our journey when sleep evades us, an all too common problem for many of us. Nice presentation from the perfect illustration to your word pictures. Well done :)
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
-
Thanks so much!
Carol
-
You are very welcome :)
Comment from Ricky1024
"Sleep"
With no Punctilious Punctuations?
...
Ant who this read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
It also, was rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
|
"Sleep"
With no Punctilious Punctuations?
...
Ant who this read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
It also, was rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much :))
Carol
Comment from lyenochka
I think it worked fine without punctuation. After all, that adds to the wakeful form of sleep that this describes. It's not sleep but it's not really heightened awareness either. The frog jumping in still water was a little hard to imagine as a snore - perhaps it was a breathing in the back of the throat sound that reminded you of the water tension breaking? Getting enough deep sleep is a bit of heaven indeed. Hope you got some good rest since the poem!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
|
I think it worked fine without punctuation. After all, that adds to the wakeful form of sleep that this describes. It's not sleep but it's not really heightened awareness either. The frog jumping in still water was a little hard to imagine as a snore - perhaps it was a breathing in the back of the throat sound that reminded you of the water tension breaking? Getting enough deep sleep is a bit of heaven indeed. Hope you got some good rest since the poem!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
-
Lol, the frog. It just came into my mind, I must have been thinking about frogs for some reason. My hubby makes these small bubbly breaths sometimes - VERY annoying, ha ha.
Carol
-
Lol. I think I know what sound you mean. It IS annoying when you can't sleep!
