Carolina Pastorals
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Vernal Interlude"A celebration of North Carolina
22 total reviews
Comment from TallySally
Wow! Such passion and double-entendre.
I read your author's notes ... the first 3 sentences - you nailed your theme and purpose ... you accomplished them perfectly.
Foxgloves - did you mean to allude to their medicinal purpose? herbal remedy to stimulate the heart? Wow (again)!
A 5 is not enough, but all I have.
Truly superior work.
God bless and my best,
Relda
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Wow! Such passion and double-entendre.
I read your author's notes ... the first 3 sentences - you nailed your theme and purpose ... you accomplished them perfectly.
Foxgloves - did you mean to allude to their medicinal purpose? herbal remedy to stimulate the heart? Wow (again)!
A 5 is not enough, but all I have.
Truly superior work.
God bless and my best,
Relda
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the encouraging comments supporting this poem. I am glad you liked it. Actually I was thinking of foxgloves and ladyslippers as a more erotic image. This is really a poem of seduction, seduction as a season of life. estory
Comment from Minglement
This is an exquisite love poem that seems to do everything you set out to do in your author notes. Lovely ethereal imagery in your beautifully turned phrases. Thanks for sharing and welcome back. I too have recently returned after several years absence.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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This is an exquisite love poem that seems to do everything you set out to do in your author notes. Lovely ethereal imagery in your beautifully turned phrases. Thanks for sharing and welcome back. I too have recently returned after several years absence.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting the poem. And welcome back. I'm glad the work I put into imagining and sculpting it seems to have paid off. This is turning out to be once of the most popular poems I've ever posted on the site. estory
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You're very welcome. It's definitely special. Take care.
Comment from Dancemom
This is a lovely free verse poem describing a romance over time. You have beautifully described this love through your word choices such as silk, violin etc. Great job and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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This is a lovely free verse poem describing a romance over time. You have beautifully described this love through your word choices such as silk, violin etc. Great job and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. Glad all those images seem to have worked in creating the sense and mood I wanted. estory
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Hmm, I like your free verse poem, I just don't know what I could add to your own review of your work in your author's notes.
I like your rhythm and flow of this. I like the insinuations of the seasonal change. I like the reference to the bow, strings, and violin. I take it, you are, or were a musician. I played several instruments in some Rock Bands during my younger adult years. I love listening to music and do so, in favor of television, which I don't watch.
Back to your poem... I like the sensual feel and the gentle way you encourage the reader to follow along. The ending is clear and wraps up the piece nicely. Well written and musical.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Hmm, I like your free verse poem, I just don't know what I could add to your own review of your work in your author's notes.
I like your rhythm and flow of this. I like the insinuations of the seasonal change. I like the reference to the bow, strings, and violin. I take it, you are, or were a musician. I played several instruments in some Rock Bands during my younger adult years. I love listening to music and do so, in favor of television, which I don't watch.
Back to your poem... I like the sensual feel and the gentle way you encourage the reader to follow along. The ending is clear and wraps up the piece nicely. Well written and musical.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I believe that poetry is the art of making music with language, and also that it is an articulation of the human experience and soul. Those two things have to be present to make a poem truly great poetry. I have studied poetry from Donne and Spenser to Keats and Coleridge, Yeats and Heaney, Levertov and Anderson, and those are probably my biggest influences. But over the years I have tried to develop a unique , personal style and sensibility. estory
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You are very welcome.
Jesse
Comment from susand3022
Hi Estory, this brought to my mind an interview I saw once with Alma Deutscher. She was maybe 8 or 9 at the time and the reporter asked what it was like to be her. She was in her backyard, which was big and had some flower gardens off to one side, and with her arms conducting, she proclaimed that there was always music, she could see it in notes and colors all the time, just playing all around her... she just had to get it all down on paper, all of this lovely music that is always just dancing around in her head. (she looked very much like Julie Andrews doing Maria on top of the hills above her abby!)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Hi Estory, this brought to my mind an interview I saw once with Alma Deutscher. She was maybe 8 or 9 at the time and the reporter asked what it was like to be her. She was in her backyard, which was big and had some flower gardens off to one side, and with her arms conducting, she proclaimed that there was always music, she could see it in notes and colors all the time, just playing all around her... she just had to get it all down on paper, all of this lovely music that is always just dancing around in her head. (she looked very much like Julie Andrews doing Maria on top of the hills above her abby!)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments and perspective on the poem. I haven't heard of Alma Deutscher. Who's Alma Duetscher? But the image of the girl conducting the orchestra makes sense...although this poem is a little more sensual and erotic, in some ways. estory
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In the interview I saw, several years ago... I remember the reporter saying to her, "People are calling you the new Mozart. What do you think of being called the next Mozart?" She said, "I don't want to be the next Mozart, I want to be the first Alma Duetscher." You can find her anywhere now. She does tours, conducts her own orchestration, plays just about everything. She's incredibly talented, and she's probably all of 13 or 14 now. She's had her own records for several years. If you like classical music, you'll love her. :)
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
You did accomplish what you set out to do. The atmosphere, the surroundings, and the weather all encompass a pair of lovers within the warmth of the indoors as the winter does its thing. The portrayal of this being repetitive is denoted in your lines "So passes another night. Another season. Another year." Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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You did accomplish what you set out to do. The atmosphere, the surroundings, and the weather all encompass a pair of lovers within the warmth of the indoors as the winter does its thing. The portrayal of this being repetitive is denoted in your lines "So passes another night. Another season. Another year." Very nicely done.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting comments and support for the poem. glad you enjoyed it and found the poem articulated these elements of passion and seasons of life within the seasons of nature. It's always nice and useful when someone puts in a specific line or lines that worked for them. estory
Comment from royowen
Yes, you certainly produced that transient feel of the passing love encounter, that indeed brings some form of temporary sensation that is only remembered by the senses, certainly not intellect. My first encounter with God was something that even the senses can't recall, it was the most wonderful and intense thing, the purity takes the breath away, the love, not of this earth. But you think I can describe it...nah. Well done, beautifully written. Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Yes, you certainly produced that transient feel of the passing love encounter, that indeed brings some form of temporary sensation that is only remembered by the senses, certainly not intellect. My first encounter with God was something that even the senses can't recall, it was the most wonderful and intense thing, the purity takes the breath away, the love, not of this earth. But you think I can describe it...nah. Well done, beautifully written. Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and the moving comments; beautifully written; that means a lot to me. I'm glad the poem was able to resonate so much with so many people. estory
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Good work
Comment from Fonda Little
Great word usage in this poem! Keep up the good work! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Great word usage in this poem! Keep up the good work! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful support of the poem and all the blessings...estory
Comment from Bicpen
... well it seems that a more elaborate idea of connection would not go amiss along with a deeper sense of emotion to draw the reader into the motion of the piece. As a free-verse it really stifles the contrast between the free nature and the more rigid set rhythm of sentencing, what I mean by this is it could do with a more straight cutting elaboration of its emotion in the lines to emphasise the endearing quality you so desire. It seems to me as I read it that the lines need more attention as this is where your emphasis for your voice will come from ... at the moment it reads as if off the back of a cereal packet when it could with expression be more vibrant and indulging in its metamorphism from an image to understanding to an executed closure.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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... well it seems that a more elaborate idea of connection would not go amiss along with a deeper sense of emotion to draw the reader into the motion of the piece. As a free-verse it really stifles the contrast between the free nature and the more rigid set rhythm of sentencing, what I mean by this is it could do with a more straight cutting elaboration of its emotion in the lines to emphasise the endearing quality you so desire. It seems to me as I read it that the lines need more attention as this is where your emphasis for your voice will come from ... at the moment it reads as if off the back of a cereal packet when it could with expression be more vibrant and indulging in its metamorphism from an image to understanding to an executed closure.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the excellent review and your comments and suggestions. It is in a certain style, I have been influenced much by the poetry of Levertov over the years. estory
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anytime ...
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made the seasons sound so sensual here in your poem, we are seduced by the heat of summer and then chilled to the bone by winter, seasons very much touch out senses, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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You made the seasons sound so sensual here in your poem, we are seduced by the heat of summer and then chilled to the bone by winter, seasons very much touch out senses, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. Glad you enjoyed it estory
