Come Hell or High Water
Families should be there for each other...17 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Someone Else writing prompt.
This story of the twins is very well told and entertaining.
Just one typo that I can see:
"but he stopped at the door on his way out the bedroom." - "Out of the bedroom"
Otherwise, nicely done. Good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the Someone Else writing prompt.
This story of the twins is very well told and entertaining.
Just one typo that I can see:
"but he stopped at the door on his way out the bedroom." - "Out of the bedroom"
Otherwise, nicely done. Good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you for that catch, Sharon, and for your time in reviewing - so very appreciated!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer, a fabulous Friday to you. Thank you for sharing that story with us, it was a wonderfully written. The characters and their dialogue was great. It should be strong entry in the contest. Good jobe and good luck. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Hello fellow writer, a fabulous Friday to you. Thank you for sharing that story with us, it was a wonderfully written. The characters and their dialogue was great. It should be strong entry in the contest. Good jobe and good luck. Have a great day.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you so very much for your time and for your comments here - both are so very appreciated!
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Well...
Yuck?
One of the regular writing suggestions I give folks (RobynsRules) is to throw everything you can at your characters. Never
make things easy for them. And when you DO give them challenges make them MOUNTAINOUS and not easily solved.
So this crazy concept meets and even surpasses that rule. (Well, maybe not the 'easily solved' part but this is a short-short not a novel. I get it.) Kudos!!!
(Again, I think I recognize this writer?? Gotta check!)
Superb skills in the conception and crafting and that MC was nicely defined. (Bless her!)
Great job all 'round-- but, some notes, if I may?
1.) a question here re name:
*
Hell or high water, little brother."
"It was two minutes, Stacy." (Sean?) retorted gently
*
2.) and I could hear (her) breathing more distinctly
3.) day that they would play and break one or some of his things
--> day that they would play and break one or more of his things
--> day that they would play and break some of his things
--> otherwise, kinda sounds like you think they might break a CAT
4.) Or that he didn't have a cat because he didn't want it to be alone all day, but that he wouldn't get two because he would be worried all day that they would play and break one or some of his things?
--> pesky 'that's -- I'm thinking you can lose the last two here?
5.) I warmed some of the leftover crab dip (I found in the fridge) and had
6.) I stood quickly and, unintentionally, knocked Miss Tipton to sit on the couch
--> I stood quickly and unintentionally knocked Miss Tipton (onto) the couch
7.) wrinkles that had wrinkles, and it (shone through) her impossibly
That's it. I realize several of these are just opinions so I certainly won't bump the rating.
Thanks for this strange, strange look at an highly altered reality. (but noooo thank you.)
Have a marvy weekend. Good luck!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Dear Mystery Writer,
Well...
Yuck?
One of the regular writing suggestions I give folks (RobynsRules) is to throw everything you can at your characters. Never
make things easy for them. And when you DO give them challenges make them MOUNTAINOUS and not easily solved.
So this crazy concept meets and even surpasses that rule. (Well, maybe not the 'easily solved' part but this is a short-short not a novel. I get it.) Kudos!!!
(Again, I think I recognize this writer?? Gotta check!)
Superb skills in the conception and crafting and that MC was nicely defined. (Bless her!)
Great job all 'round-- but, some notes, if I may?
1.) a question here re name:
*
Hell or high water, little brother."
"It was two minutes, Stacy." (Sean?) retorted gently
*
2.) and I could hear (her) breathing more distinctly
3.) day that they would play and break one or some of his things
--> day that they would play and break one or more of his things
--> day that they would play and break some of his things
--> otherwise, kinda sounds like you think they might break a CAT
4.) Or that he didn't have a cat because he didn't want it to be alone all day, but that he wouldn't get two because he would be worried all day that they would play and break one or some of his things?
--> pesky 'that's -- I'm thinking you can lose the last two here?
5.) I warmed some of the leftover crab dip (I found in the fridge) and had
6.) I stood quickly and, unintentionally, knocked Miss Tipton to sit on the couch
--> I stood quickly and unintentionally knocked Miss Tipton (onto) the couch
7.) wrinkles that had wrinkles, and it (shone through) her impossibly
That's it. I realize several of these are just opinions so I certainly won't bump the rating.
Thanks for this strange, strange look at an highly altered reality. (but noooo thank you.)
Have a marvy weekend. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Yeah.... I couldn't resist once the idea popped into my head! ;-) Thank you so much for the catches, my friend - written over the two days that I actually put in the most hours at work (because, of course, that' when inspiration has to hit, right?) meaning that it was evening/night hours, I had hoped I'd gotten everything, but you know how that is - LOL! ;-) You are such a gem to help and I do believe I got everything now... even caught a few more things when I went in to fix your spots, so double thanks!! Take care and have a great (albeit COLD) weekend! ;)
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is outstanding. Not a word in the wrong place. No over excesses. I was captivated from start to finish. I believe it should do very well in the contest, and wish you all the best luck.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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This is outstanding. Not a word in the wrong place. No over excesses. I was captivated from start to finish. I believe it should do very well in the contest, and wish you all the best luck.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Oh my goodness, THANK YOU Katherine!! When this idea first popped into my head, I thought: how crazy is that? But then, and I don't know how you are with your 'light bulb' ideas, I couldn't get it OUT of my head until I wrote it - lol! I am so glad you enjoyed Stacy's (and Sean and Greg's!) story - you have certainly brightened all of our day with those shiny stars! Thank you.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Funny, serious story sister trapped in brother's body and finding out his little secret. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Funny, serious story sister trapped in brother's body and finding out his little secret. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you for your time and your comments.
Comment from Patty Palmer
A very interesting story about waking up as her twin brother and how she handled it. A clever take on the contest about waking up as someone else! Good luck with the contest!
Patty
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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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A very interesting story about waking up as her twin brother and how she handled it. A clever take on the contest about waking up as someone else! Good luck with the contest!
Patty
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you for your time in reading and comments.
Comment from Drew Delaney
Sorry I don't have a six star for you! It's a pleasure to read your work and I know you will do well in the contest. The story is humorous as well as amazingly well written.
Drew
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Sorry I don't have a six star for you! It's a pleasure to read your work and I know you will do well in the contest. The story is humorous as well as amazingly well written.
Drew
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thank you so very much for your time and your comments!
