Fragile Veil
Remembering our oneness17 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I like the metaphor you used for the title of your poem, indeed the faith it's a fragile veil. I think the free verse chosen as a frame for the poem offers new context go the way we perceive this world.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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I like the metaphor you used for the title of your poem, indeed the faith it's a fragile veil. I think the free verse chosen as a frame for the poem offers new context go the way we perceive this world.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Thank you very much for your kind review and insights. I very much appreciate you taking time to read my poem!
Comment from w.j.debi
This free verse almost follows a sonnet format, which is so often the form used for love.
What an excellent beginning with eyes closed and not being able to see the answers you are seeking in the first section.
You build upon that theme in the second section.
Then there is a turn in the twelfth line, speaking of seeking and offering more to the wounded love.
Great summation to complete the poem in the last two lines.
I love this line:
"a haunting song of wholeness"
It's out there just hoping to become complete.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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This free verse almost follows a sonnet format, which is so often the form used for love.
What an excellent beginning with eyes closed and not being able to see the answers you are seeking in the first section.
You build upon that theme in the second section.
Then there is a turn in the twelfth line, speaking of seeking and offering more to the wounded love.
Great summation to complete the poem in the last two lines.
I love this line:
"a haunting song of wholeness"
It's out there just hoping to become complete.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Thank you so very much, Debi. I have been fortunate to have come across some deeply beautiful writings on the perspective of the Ego and how it has come to create so much chaos in the world. I think a healthy ego is important, but I feel it needs to be tuned by love. Anyway, it's so very kind of your to review my poem so generously, and I do appreciate it.
Comment from Alyssa Weisbrod
I really enjoyed reading your poem! It made me really think about a lot of things. I also love picture that you chose to accompany your poem. It is a beautiful representation of the words that follow! Great writing
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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I really enjoyed reading your poem! It made me really think about a lot of things. I also love picture that you chose to accompany your poem. It is a beautiful representation of the words that follow! Great writing
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Hello, Alyssa. Thank you so very much for taking time to read and review my free verse poem. Your support is most encouraging, and your insights very helpful.
Comment from Fonda Little
I like the color you used for the background and the picture as well! Great job! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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I like the color you used for the background and the picture as well! Great job! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Thank you so very much for taking time to review my poem, FL. I do appreciate your insights and share your deep love and respect for Jesus, our comfort and hope.
Comment from kahpot
What a beautiful read, along with your chosen artwork, Faith is never far away and is always there for us to find, this is an excellent presentation, very well done and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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What a beautiful read, along with your chosen artwork, Faith is never far away and is always there for us to find, this is an excellent presentation, very well done and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Thank you, kahpot for taking time to read and review my poem. I very appreciate your specific insights and your support. Kind regards!
Comment from Bill Pinder
I like this free verse with the metaphor of a haunting song. I like your idea of offering forgiveness even when brother is pitted against brother. I like this excellent phrase, "embracing a disordered wholeness."
Bill
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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I like this free verse with the metaphor of a haunting song. I like your idea of offering forgiveness even when brother is pitted against brother. I like this excellent phrase, "embracing a disordered wholeness."
Bill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Hi, Bill. Thank you so much for this review and the very helpful way you pointed out sections of the poem you liked. I appreciate you stopping by!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh my, Bev, how wonderful to read your poetry again! I will most certainly have to check my messages because I don't think I have had any notices...?
This is marvelous, as your writing is always, and beautifully presented. I am happy that it ended on an upbeat note too. :)
Best of luck in the contest, my friend!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Oh my, Bev, how wonderful to read your poetry again! I will most certainly have to check my messages because I don't think I have had any notices...?
This is marvelous, as your writing is always, and beautifully presented. I am happy that it ended on an upbeat note too. :)
Best of luck in the contest, my friend!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Thanks so much, Dawn. I signed up for a couple of different contests, because I missed having the deadlines and discipline LOL. Thank you so very much for your kind review, support and good wishes. I'm sure there are going to be a number of award-winning entries in this contest. Maybe yours? XX
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Sorry for the late reply. You're very welcome, of course.
