Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Prized!"Experiences of living
136 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this poem it seems to be to be about john, the beloved disciple of God who had the responsibility to write the book of revelations.
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this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this poem it seems to be to be about john, the beloved disciple of God who had the responsibility to write the book of revelations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Rondeno
May I ask what "xeno-clouds" are? If you must use "thou" (and I struggle to find a justification for it), then shouldn't it be "thou envisionest"?
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May I ask what "xeno-clouds" are? If you must use "thou" (and I struggle to find a justification for it), then shouldn't it be "thou envisionest"?
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
The point of writing for the public, rather than just for yourself, is to COMMUNICATE ideas. This is such a jumble of seemingly random words and shortened words that require notes to explain them that very little communication occurs.
>>the xeno-clouds chunk disappear<<
What on earth is that supposed to mean??? It's not even grammatical in the English language, and that's just one example from this long piece of... of whatever it is.
Sorry, but I have really tried to comprehend your poetry, and I only do so because you make it so valuable in FS dollars that I figure I should at least try. But I think you are writing this for your eyes only. Mine see nothing there, but I'll give you four stars for the effort, since you wrote a lot of it here... went on for quite a while. :)
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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The point of writing for the public, rather than just for yourself, is to COMMUNICATE ideas. This is such a jumble of seemingly random words and shortened words that require notes to explain them that very little communication occurs.
>>the xeno-clouds chunk disappear<<
What on earth is that supposed to mean??? It's not even grammatical in the English language, and that's just one example from this long piece of... of whatever it is.
Sorry, but I have really tried to comprehend your poetry, and I only do so because you make it so valuable in FS dollars that I figure I should at least try. But I think you are writing this for your eyes only. Mine see nothing there, but I'll give you four stars for the effort, since you wrote a lot of it here... went on for quite a while. :)
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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THANKS
Comment from adewpearl
Al, when I read your poem I can tell you have something genuine to say and that you're feeling the emotion. Beyond that, I just can't understand what the heck you're saying.
I don't get it.
When I write, my greatest goal is to communicate with my reader, and here, we have a failure to communicate.
Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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Al, when I read your poem I can tell you have something genuine to say and that you're feeling the emotion. Beyond that, I just can't understand what the heck you're saying.
I don't get it.
When I write, my greatest goal is to communicate with my reader, and here, we have a failure to communicate.
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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THANKS
Comment from arsinBW
This review is just my opinion. That being said, this is just too hard to read. It's TOO challenging. I can't get any feeling from because I'm constantly having to look up words. I've liked everything else that I've read yours though.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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This review is just my opinion. That being said, this is just too hard to read. It's TOO challenging. I can't get any feeling from because I'm constantly having to look up words. I've liked everything else that I've read yours though.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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THANKS
Comment from Slythytove2
That would certainly be a somewhat long sentence it I was to string it all together. But If we are supposed to read it that way why did you break it up? No matter- I was wondering why if you felt you had to explain all of your literary conceits at the end did you bother using them in the first place? Wouldn't it have been easier to just spell it all out in plain old english.I felt that the "cardinal rule line was not necessary and beneath the value you were trying to place on the work itself.Sometimes obscure isn't deep- it's just obscure.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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That would certainly be a somewhat long sentence it I was to string it all together. But If we are supposed to read it that way why did you break it up? No matter- I was wondering why if you felt you had to explain all of your literary conceits at the end did you bother using them in the first place? Wouldn't it have been easier to just spell it all out in plain old english.I felt that the "cardinal rule line was not necessary and beneath the value you were trying to place on the work itself.Sometimes obscure isn't deep- it's just obscure.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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THANKS
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Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Alcreator,
You have used a lot of 50 cent words in this poem. I take a lot of poetic license when I write but those who know me well don't seem to care...in fact they expect it! Your work is always such a challenge to read and understand and very though provoking. I like the reverent words and the message they leave. Upon the second read the words and their meaning became clearer to me. Well done, chey
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Hi Alcreator,
You have used a lot of 50 cent words in this poem. I take a lot of poetic license when I write but those who know me well don't seem to care...in fact they expect it! Your work is always such a challenge to read and understand and very though provoking. I like the reverent words and the message they leave. Upon the second read the words and their meaning became clearer to me. Well done, chey
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Righteous Riter
I enjoyed reading this piece. This piece really took me on a ride. The ride consisted of wisdom and truth. The third verse is the one that hit me the hardest. Nice work.
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I enjoyed reading this piece. This piece really took me on a ride. The ride consisted of wisdom and truth. The third verse is the one that hit me the hardest. Nice work.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Alcreator Litt Dear
This is an interesting form, not one I've encountered before, but then I am not a poet myself.
You paint some interesting images to carry your message through it. It works for me at least, with the linking words and phrases between ideas and verses.
Patrick
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Hi Alcreator Litt Dear
This is an interesting form, not one I've encountered before, but then I am not a poet myself.
You paint some interesting images to carry your message through it. It works for me at least, with the linking words and phrases between ideas and verses.
Patrick
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from God's Writer
All the stars in this galaxy would not be enough to reward such a poem. So grand in its fullest. Like a bald eagle taking off into flight on a bright summer's day.
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All the stars in this galaxy would not be enough to reward such a poem. So grand in its fullest. Like a bald eagle taking off into flight on a bright summer's day.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
