Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Prized!"Experiences of living
136 total reviews
Comment from Montyjuke
Anyone who can use the word azure poetically and get away with it needs a gold medal in my opinion cliche-poetrical-words can only be used poetically if you do not expect it, I didn't, well done.
Bravo for using the mix of different languages this is something that I am trying to accomplish successfully myself,very difficult.
The key appears to be to only use words that do not require explanation i.e. desto, mort, rem, chicanery excellent self explanatory words no dictionary required. Adumbrate, penumbra could mean anything and without your key would leave the reader wanting an explanation. If it is mystery and vagueness (which I love and try to achieve myself) then great you achieve your aims, otherwise self-explaining word choice is essential.
This should not detract from the overall read which as some excellent imagery:
I embrace love pearls
A xeno-cloud in the xen-shadow (enjoyed)
Fine story line given from the bottom of the poets heart as it comes across.
The overall piece is a poem I enjoyed but please do not use a ABBREVIATIONS, MEANINGS: as this spoiled the mystery for me, make us think about the poem and then and only then will the poem truly belong to us.
Excellent
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Anyone who can use the word azure poetically and get away with it needs a gold medal in my opinion cliche-poetrical-words can only be used poetically if you do not expect it, I didn't, well done.
Bravo for using the mix of different languages this is something that I am trying to accomplish successfully myself,very difficult.
The key appears to be to only use words that do not require explanation i.e. desto, mort, rem, chicanery excellent self explanatory words no dictionary required. Adumbrate, penumbra could mean anything and without your key would leave the reader wanting an explanation. If it is mystery and vagueness (which I love and try to achieve myself) then great you achieve your aims, otherwise self-explaining word choice is essential.
This should not detract from the overall read which as some excellent imagery:
I embrace love pearls
A xeno-cloud in the xen-shadow (enjoyed)
Fine story line given from the bottom of the poets heart as it comes across.
The overall piece is a poem I enjoyed but please do not use a ABBREVIATIONS, MEANINGS: as this spoiled the mystery for me, make us think about the poem and then and only then will the poem truly belong to us.
Excellent
Comment Written 22-Apr-2006
Comment from Mrs Jones
I understand the verse, but I find you are mixing old and new language. The content is great but I can't say I care for the chosen style. But, that is just my opinion.
Cheers
Rose
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I understand the verse, but I find you are mixing old and new language. The content is great but I can't say I care for the chosen style. But, that is just my opinion.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 22-Apr-2006
Comment from Sam Manilla
As the last line says, it is for God to comprehend. I am not sure if I understand the whole poem. It felt like a poem of awe and thankfulness for all Thou has given you. Write on!
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As the last line says, it is for God to comprehend. I am not sure if I understand the whole poem. It felt like a poem of awe and thankfulness for all Thou has given you. Write on!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2006
Comment from rivki1111
Hello, it's rivki...what an epic voyage of the human journey...there is so much in here that it is hard to know where to start....I think the ideaology of 'zen' came through lound and true, but also the idea of every thing being in order and 'under thy governance'...I loved that, I think I will steal it (almost definitely)...even our lust and desire...which was personal for me, so that got you the fiver really, and also....
You don't mind to launch out of your comfy zone with words....word usage is original and at times swash-buckling, but it works...!! well done, and thanks for letting me in on this unique snap-shot of life that you have woven here....it was definitely my pleasure to read and review, cheers rivki
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Hello, it's rivki...what an epic voyage of the human journey...there is so much in here that it is hard to know where to start....I think the ideaology of 'zen' came through lound and true, but also the idea of every thing being in order and 'under thy governance'...I loved that, I think I will steal it (almost definitely)...even our lust and desire...which was personal for me, so that got you the fiver really, and also....
You don't mind to launch out of your comfy zone with words....word usage is original and at times swash-buckling, but it works...!! well done, and thanks for letting me in on this unique snap-shot of life that you have woven here....it was definitely my pleasure to read and review, cheers rivki
Comment Written 22-Apr-2006
Comment from Snitz
Holy Cow!! What a rather intense writ you have here. When I first started to read this write, I thought it a ranting writ that was a joke.. But by the second and third stanza, I began to fully come to know it was not and that it was a very deep meaningful piece about God. A subject I have great passion for.
While I do not pretend I totally understood it all, I did understand most of the meanings along the way.. Even a surprise to me! lol
Finally, when I arrived at the end of the piece, the last line totally summed it up for me and I knew that I was correct as I was reading, about the sentiment and meaning of the poem as a whole.
The authors notes truly are appreciated, as when I read them, I picked up where I stumbled in my lack of knowledge and it closed the gaps of understanding for me.
You are a talented writer. I would never have thought I would like a piece of art such as this. But I did truly enjoy it. Kudo's to you! God Bless... Snitz :0)
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Holy Cow!! What a rather intense writ you have here. When I first started to read this write, I thought it a ranting writ that was a joke.. But by the second and third stanza, I began to fully come to know it was not and that it was a very deep meaningful piece about God. A subject I have great passion for.
While I do not pretend I totally understood it all, I did understand most of the meanings along the way.. Even a surprise to me! lol
Finally, when I arrived at the end of the piece, the last line totally summed it up for me and I knew that I was correct as I was reading, about the sentiment and meaning of the poem as a whole.
The authors notes truly are appreciated, as when I read them, I picked up where I stumbled in my lack of knowledge and it closed the gaps of understanding for me.
You are a talented writer. I would never have thought I would like a piece of art such as this. But I did truly enjoy it. Kudo's to you! God Bless... Snitz :0)
Comment Written 22-Apr-2006
Comment from KING SLATON
This is a very complex piece of work. I will openly admit without hesitation that without reading the side notes, I would have no clue as to the subject matter. I do not blame any author for my ignorance and the excellent rating is given because I could not flow with the work as I would upon reading your other material.
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This is a very complex piece of work. I will openly admit without hesitation that without reading the side notes, I would have no clue as to the subject matter. I do not blame any author for my ignorance and the excellent rating is given because I could not flow with the work as I would upon reading your other material.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2006
Comment from Veronica Grace
Well thank goodness for your notes! Once I got the gist of it I came to believe you are a genius in your own write.;^) I give you the five stars because I liked not only your style but the wonderful message and fine way you depicted being prized by God. Good choice of words and all!
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Well thank goodness for your notes! Once I got the gist of it I came to believe you are a genius in your own write.;^) I give you the five stars because I liked not only your style but the wonderful message and fine way you depicted being prized by God. Good choice of words and all!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2006
Comment from Dear Essay Reviewer
It has a very complex subject
It is an overall nice free verse touches heart for it has zest for living
It speaks of an interesting experience of being prized by God
God is the constant watcher of poet's needs
The verse flows well
The spiritual belongingness is the prime force of this verse
It is an uncommon type of verse having common man's appeal
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It has a very complex subject
It is an overall nice free verse touches heart for it has zest for living
It speaks of an interesting experience of being prized by God
God is the constant watcher of poet's needs
The verse flows well
The spiritual belongingness is the prime force of this verse
It is an uncommon type of verse having common man's appeal
Comment Written 07-Apr-2006
Comment from ishta
I think this is good, and somehow the emotions are given to the reader. Complicated, but somewhat simple. You had some really beautful lines, and stanzas, that are worthy of recognition. Good job on this one. Lots of feeling in it.
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I think this is good, and somehow the emotions are given to the reader. Complicated, but somewhat simple. You had some really beautful lines, and stanzas, that are worthy of recognition. Good job on this one. Lots of feeling in it.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2006
Comment from National Scholar
Magnificent is this free verse, 200 out of 100, I wish it top the list. The style, mode and attitude of expression are doubtlessly extraordinary, in addition the symmetry of thoughts is exceptional as there is an artistic perfection. The truth truthfully conveyed so effortlessly, freely and naturally. How one is prized by God and such an experience is exclusive and none but the God graced souls would appreciate, realize or understand is superb. The poet is really prized by God I do believe and how unfortunate those who do not understand the value and price of such an immense, destined, gifted feeling. DESERVES FOR SIX STARS.
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Magnificent is this free verse, 200 out of 100, I wish it top the list. The style, mode and attitude of expression are doubtlessly extraordinary, in addition the symmetry of thoughts is exceptional as there is an artistic perfection. The truth truthfully conveyed so effortlessly, freely and naturally. How one is prized by God and such an experience is exclusive and none but the God graced souls would appreciate, realize or understand is superb. The poet is really prized by God I do believe and how unfortunate those who do not understand the value and price of such an immense, destined, gifted feeling. DESERVES FOR SIX STARS.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
