Looking Out for Carl
She was only getting out of the rain...19 total reviews
Comment from TallySally
I enjoyed your story.
The description of the bar pulled me right in. Cozy.
The untouched glass is quite a metaphor. Nice.
Fine characters - those timeless friends. I suppose it was Donal who honored Christie's memory with the drink? It seems he wasn't overly surprised with Sadie's conversing with an empty chair.
Such a nice ending.
God bless and my best,
Relda
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
  |
I enjoyed your story.
The description of the bar pulled me right in. Cozy.
The untouched glass is quite a metaphor. Nice.
Fine characters - those timeless friends. I suppose it was Donal who honored Christie's memory with the drink? It seems he wasn't overly surprised with Sadie's conversing with an empty chair.
Such a nice ending.
God bless and my best,
Relda
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
-
Glad you enjoyed this one, Reida - thank you for your time and your review!! Yvette
Comment from estory
Lots of detail and polish in the writing here. We get a great sense of the ladies and the bar, the bartender, the Irish atmosphere in the brogue of the bartender. It all has a playful air and when the ex husband rolls in from the rain, comes the twist at the end. I thought the dialogue was lively and revealing of the characters, especially the unsuspecting Sadie and Christine plotting to pass her ex on to her. estory
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
|
Lots of detail and polish in the writing here. We get a great sense of the ladies and the bar, the bartender, the Irish atmosphere in the brogue of the bartender. It all has a playful air and when the ex husband rolls in from the rain, comes the twist at the end. I thought the dialogue was lively and revealing of the characters, especially the unsuspecting Sadie and Christine plotting to pass her ex on to her. estory
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, E, for this awesome review!! You've made my day with your taking the time to read and really give some meaningful comments - so awesome!! ;) Thank you again, and have a wonderful weekend!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Woww!! It was such an amazing piece of writing. You're possessed with such a wonderful talent. I loved it and enjoyed reading it completely. I hope you'll go miles as a writer. Wishing you luck.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
|
Woww!! It was such an amazing piece of writing. You're possessed with such a wonderful talent. I loved it and enjoyed reading it completely. I hope you'll go miles as a writer. Wishing you luck.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for the awesome review, Aaquib -- I'm so very glad you enjoyed this one -- hadn't written a good short story in a while and when I was done, I was like: yeah, that felt good... bring on another challenge - LOL!l :) :) Take care! ;) Yvette
-
That positivity and euphoria you felt after finishing is similar to what I feel as well when I finished a work I am completely satisfied with! :-)
Comment from Sally Law
This is six worthy and had me hanging till the end. I thought maybe one of the ladies hailed from the other world. Of course it was Christie, her drink was untouched. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
This is six worthy and had me hanging till the end. I thought maybe one of the ladies hailed from the other world. Of course it was Christie, her drink was untouched. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Hooray!! ;) So glad you enjoyed my first short story of the new year, Lady Sal -- means a lot to hear that from you!! ;) I'm trying to get my 'attitude back to the pen' as the end of the semester I think burned it out, ya know?! ;) We'll see if it works this week.... ! ;) Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Rikki66
Spooky! But I had an inkling that Christine was and wasn't there. The untouched drink, the refusal to shake hands, being ignored by the bartender. It made me believe there was a spirit at work. Was it intentional or a typo to leave the 'e' out of Christine Thibodaux's name? Do Carl and Sadie hit it off, is she lonely Friday night?
RikkiLXXIII
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
 |
Spooky! But I had an inkling that Christine was and wasn't there. The untouched drink, the refusal to shake hands, being ignored by the bartender. It made me believe there was a spirit at work. Was it intentional or a typo to leave the 'e' out of Christine Thibodaux's name? Do Carl and Sadie hit it off, is she lonely Friday night?
RikkiLXXIII
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Aaaack!! Totally a typo - thank you so much for catching that one!! ;) :) And thank you so much for the awesome review, Rikki, and for those wonderful stars!! :) I'm thinking they most probably did hit it off since Christine seemed to think so as well!! ;) :) LOL! So glad you enjoyed my crazy story, my friend, I tend to tell some fantastical tales sometimes... LOL! :) Take care over there and enjoy the rest of the week (stay warm!!)! ;) Yvette
-
It is my pleasure to read your missives The stars are well deserved. Over here it is cool at night and warm in the day.
Lov ya' Rikki
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Wow, meeting in a bar can bring new faces and new adventure. So where did Christie go? And why didn't she drink her drink? Was she just an angel? You should make this story into a novel or book.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
Wow, meeting in a bar can bring new faces and new adventure. So where did Christie go? And why didn't she drink her drink? Was she just an angel? You should make this story into a novel or book.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Aaaaaah, but was she ever really there at all ... ?? :) :) Thanx for your review, Rosemary, and the lovely encouragement -- you are awesome!! ;) Take care and have a great remainder of the week! ;) Yvette
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvette. To me it is a love story with a ghost. The story had lots of good descriptive narrative but the last line confirmed my hypothesis. The best short stories are ones that rely on the last on hundred syllables. You did it in the last twelve. Very well done. Z
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
Hello Yvette. To me it is a love story with a ghost. The story had lots of good descriptive narrative but the last line confirmed my hypothesis. The best short stories are ones that rely on the last on hundred syllables. You did it in the last twelve. Very well done. Z
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Wow!! That's a heck of a compliment, Z -- thank you so very much!! You just made my night, sir!! ;) I'm so glad you enjoyed the blonde's fantastical pennings - good to have you here! ;) Take care of you and Ralphie! ;) Yvette
-
You did a good on Yvette.
Z [*_*]
Comment from Therese Caron
This is a great story. I knew there was something strange going on, but I wasn't sure what, first I thought it was for the two girls in a bar contest but there were other people there so I knew it wasn't that. Then I started wondering if it was some kind of science fiction. Anyway, you wrote this beautifully and descriptively, and it had a fantastic ending. Great job!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
This is a great story. I knew there was something strange going on, but I wasn't sure what, first I thought it was for the two girls in a bar contest but there were other people there so I knew it wasn't that. Then I started wondering if it was some kind of science fiction. Anyway, you wrote this beautifully and descriptively, and it had a fantastic ending. Great job!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed, Terry -- I do enjoy writing these fantastical and supernatural stories! ;) :) Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Ulla
Hi Yvette, so Christie is a ghost, which I'd already guessed. And then it has a twist in its tail. I liked the story a lot. Unusual and very well written. Yes, I liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
Hi Yvette, so Christie is a ghost, which I'd already guessed. And then it has a twist in its tail. I liked the story a lot. Unusual and very well written. Yes, I liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review, Ulla -- I have fun penning fun fantasies! :) Take care! ;) Yvette
Comment from Barbaraj1
I almost didn't read your story because I don't like fantasy. But I was pleasantly surprised. Halfway through the story, I figured she was a ghost.
The dialogue was good and I thought the ending was perfect.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
I almost didn't read your story because I don't like fantasy. But I was pleasantly surprised. Halfway through the story, I figured she was a ghost.
The dialogue was good and I thought the ending was perfect.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Oh, Barbara, I am so very glad that you did read it though -- thank you for those wonderful stars, my friend!! ;) I enjoy writing ones with and very unexpected twist... love the fantastic and the supernatural!! ;) :) What can I say, it must be the blonde, yeah?! ;) :) Thank you again for such a lovely review - have an awesome remainder of the week! ;) :) Yvette
