Patent Leather Shoes
More than pretty shoes.32 total reviews
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Sally, a spectacular Saturday to you. Thank you for sharing your true story with us, it was very touching. I wish there were more people in the world like Mr. Redding, this world would be a better place. People who are more fortunate than other tend to look down on others instead of lifting them up. Good job and good luck in the contest. Have a great day!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
  |
Hello Sally, a spectacular Saturday to you. Thank you for sharing your true story with us, it was very touching. I wish there were more people in the world like Mr. Redding, this world would be a better place. People who are more fortunate than other tend to look down on others instead of lifting them up. Good job and good luck in the contest. Have a great day!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you very much for the lovely review. I appreciate the kinds words and excellent review, dear poet.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :))
Comment from Eve Vasa
Hello Sally, do you have French blood in your veins? Dupree, always sounds as if it should be French, I found your writing very engaging, and I get the whole 'shoe' thing. One of the worst mistakes you could make in our family were not wearing them, hahaha so I've ended up with this love of shoes. Not very nice of someone to look you up and down and judge you by them, that is taking things a bit seriously, you poor thing. For me, after reading the story, the most important thing was what they represented, but so nice as a memory too.
I only noticed one thing I will bring to your attention. The word 'had'. Each time I use it I see if I can un-use it. I think it has a nasty effect in prose, it can make the word passive, and it can just be a wasted word as in this case below. Because when you get rid of the one or two unnecessary words in a sentence, it can have the affect of making it more powerful, and cause the reader to invest more.
I (had-remove) always admired (the-remove) kids in (my-remove) elementary school (who had-replace with 'with') nice shoes.'
And this would then read:
I always admired kids in elementary school with nice shoes.
Nice to see you today and FS and enjoy your writing, I did, Eve.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
Hello Sally, do you have French blood in your veins? Dupree, always sounds as if it should be French, I found your writing very engaging, and I get the whole 'shoe' thing. One of the worst mistakes you could make in our family were not wearing them, hahaha so I've ended up with this love of shoes. Not very nice of someone to look you up and down and judge you by them, that is taking things a bit seriously, you poor thing. For me, after reading the story, the most important thing was what they represented, but so nice as a memory too.
I only noticed one thing I will bring to your attention. The word 'had'. Each time I use it I see if I can un-use it. I think it has a nasty effect in prose, it can make the word passive, and it can just be a wasted word as in this case below. Because when you get rid of the one or two unnecessary words in a sentence, it can have the affect of making it more powerful, and cause the reader to invest more.
I (had-remove) always admired (the-remove) kids in (my-remove) elementary school (who had-replace with 'with') nice shoes.'
And this would then read:
I always admired kids in elementary school with nice shoes.
Nice to see you today and FS and enjoy your writing, I did, Eve.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, spdear Eve. How nice to see you today. I'm glad you enjoyed my post and I appreciate you stop by! I appreciate the critique, too. Thanks so much. :)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Sally: I flew in to give you stars **************
love your story of the shoes. I know that that was a huge act
of kindness that you will always remember. The shoes gave you
confidence. I sing in two choirs. Taking a break now that we have
8 inches of fresh snow. Stars **************** flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
 |
Sally: I flew in to give you stars **************
love your story of the shoes. I know that that was a huge act
of kindness that you will always remember. The shoes gave you
confidence. I sing in two choirs. Taking a break now that we have
8 inches of fresh snow. Stars **************** flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Snow!!!!! I think of that song by Irving Berlin. Thank you, sweet lady. I appreciate you swooping in any time you are able. Im smiling with delight that you enjoyed my true story. God put many kind people in my path growing up without a father. I appreciate the outstanding review and showers of stars, too. It's always a treat to see you. I hope you had a wonderful holiday and I pray to see more of you in 2020. I move to publish my novella soon.
Yay!!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
-
Sally: what is your novella about??? Where are you being published? I am studying on line. Write now I'm taking a course from writer's write - hooked on writing ((free)). I watch Hallmark romance shows and hibernate ((LOL). Baked blizzard blueberry muffins and banana muffins today. Made a batch of beef stew too. Thanks for being a penpal. flylikeaneagle - nancy CONGRATS!
-
"What The Blind Girl Saw' is my my novella. It is a crime mystery. The epilogue posted today. I move to print the spring. It is based loosely on my descent from sighted to blind.,I didn't know if you knew so was blind but I am. I have a rare case of retinitis pigmentosa. God took away my sight and handed me a pen. xoxo I hope you can catch the chapters in my portfolio. I've won three awards on FanStory for this novella. God is good.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I loved this. And what that man did to him wasn't much but he knew it made the world of difference for you. Not only that but he didn't ask for anything in return. He did it just to be nice. I love it.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
I loved this. And what that man did to him wasn't much but he knew it made the world of difference for you. Not only that but he didn't ask for anything in return. He did it just to be nice. I love it.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, Megan dear. Mr. Redding was just a dear man. He treated me so kindly. I will never forget him. This story came so easy for me and I remember the emotion of it all, too. I appreciate your generous and kind review, dear one.
Sending you my nest today as always,
Sally xoxo
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sally. What a wonderful story, with a wonderful ending. The story is very well written, as are all of your stories but the message is very moving. I wish you the best in the contest, just let me get second place.
(*_*) Z
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
Hello Sally. What a wonderful story, with a wonderful ending. The story is very well written, as are all of your stories but the message is very moving. I wish you the best in the contest, just let me get second place.
(*_*) Z
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Dear Z, thank you for the kind review and compliments. I dunno, the four seasons one was a really great true story. I appreciate your comments and continued kindness. If I lose, I hope it's to you.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
-
Hello Sally. You're welcome.
I don't do well in site contests. You have a great story for the contest.
Comment from lyenochka
Wonderful story, Sal! I'm so glad that your friend's father was so kind and generous. And of course, he appreciated your kindness to be a friend to his daughter.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
Wonderful story, Sal! I'm so glad that your friend's father was so kind and generous. And of course, he appreciated your kindness to be a friend to his daughter.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you so much dear Helen. I appreciate the kind comments and wonderful review. Sending my best today as always, Sally xo
Comment from WalkerMan
Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story of the lasting effect of an act of kindness bestowed on you when it most mattered.
Your father's alcohol addiction had caused him to walk away when you were only four, leaving your mother struggling to keep you fed, sheltered, and clothed. Yet, rather than let envy of those better off bring you to hate them, you befriended Karel simply to help her overcome shyness, which she clearly appreciated.
When Karel invited you to visit her home, she could not have anticipated that her caring father would invite you to accompany them on a trip to buy clothes at the new mall in town.
The white patent leather shoes you saw and instantly loved cost twenty dollars (likely at least double that today) -- a week's groceries for your family. Yet, Mr. Redding, seeing your disappointment as you put them down, requested a fitting for you from the salesman.
While waiting, he could not have missed how sincerely you complimented his daughter.
Then he personally helped you try them on, saw how well they fit and the joy on your face until you remembered the price, and bought them for you.
Perhaps it was a trivial expense to him at the time, or maybe the cost mattered less to him than what he could read in your eyes.
The lasting effect was just as he hoped. As you said, you "felt loved and confident" each time you wore them -- enough to enter the school talent contest and win second place with your singing. That he stood with your mom at the back of the auditorium and clapped for you must have been one of the high points in your life, as you remember it so clearly.
Superb.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story of the lasting effect of an act of kindness bestowed on you when it most mattered.
Your father's alcohol addiction had caused him to walk away when you were only four, leaving your mother struggling to keep you fed, sheltered, and clothed. Yet, rather than let envy of those better off bring you to hate them, you befriended Karel simply to help her overcome shyness, which she clearly appreciated.
When Karel invited you to visit her home, she could not have anticipated that her caring father would invite you to accompany them on a trip to buy clothes at the new mall in town.
The white patent leather shoes you saw and instantly loved cost twenty dollars (likely at least double that today) -- a week's groceries for your family. Yet, Mr. Redding, seeing your disappointment as you put them down, requested a fitting for you from the salesman.
While waiting, he could not have missed how sincerely you complimented his daughter.
Then he personally helped you try them on, saw how well they fit and the joy on your face until you remembered the price, and bought them for you.
Perhaps it was a trivial expense to him at the time, or maybe the cost mattered less to him than what he could read in your eyes.
The lasting effect was just as he hoped. As you said, you "felt loved and confident" each time you wore them -- enough to enter the school talent contest and win second place with your singing. That he stood with your mom at the back of the auditorium and clapped for you must have been one of the high points in your life, as you remember it so clearly.
Superb.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you so much for the lovely review and kindest compliments, dear Mike. Since you know my past so well, you see things others might miss. I'm so glad you enjoyed my true story. As kindness goes, you and Mr. Redding are much the same. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :))
-
You are most welcome, Sal. Your own warm heart in befriending Karel brought you that blessing.
Thank you for the high compliment. It means more than I have words to express.
-- Mike
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a beautiful true story, Sally. I enjoyed reading it. I could feel the love and emotion in every word. Mr. Redding was an understanding man--his wife kinda uppity. Your story flows well with great detail that is appealing to all. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan.
near the beginning while in the car--Mr. Redding, Karel and (me).
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
What a beautiful true story, Sally. I enjoyed reading it. I could feel the love and emotion in every word. Mr. Redding was an understanding man--his wife kinda uppity. Your story flows well with great detail that is appealing to all. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan.
near the beginning while in the car--Mr. Redding, Karel and (me).
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you for the excellent review and kind comments, dear Jan. I appreciate your critique, too.
My copy editor said, "Mr. Redding, Karen and I. He won. Like you, I originally had (me). I guess there's a difference of opinion here. (He sent me his teaching tutorial with my critique. I needed a refresher anyway.) Humbling for me, but needful. :)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
-
I believe he is incorrect.
in the car--Mr. Redding
in the car--Karel
in the car--me (not I)
-
I will tell we said so. Xoxo
Comment from rwilliam
WOW! WOW! WOW!
This was such a moving story!!! Wow, you did an AMAZING job of writing this. I felt like I was right there with you the whole time. What a fun trip!
When I was young, I read ALL the time, books took me on so many trips. I felt that with this story! SO impressed!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
WOW! WOW! WOW!
This was such a moving story!!! Wow, you did an AMAZING job of writing this. I felt like I was right there with you the whole time. What a fun trip!
When I was young, I read ALL the time, books took me on so many trips. I felt that with this story! SO impressed!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you so u h for the lovely review and kindest compliments, dear one. I so appreciate you and your faithful attention. It means the world to me that you enjoy my work. :)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
Comment from JudyE
What a wonderfully kind man and a lovely memory to hold for evermore.
I wondered if you needed a question mark in the following but I guess it's more a command than a question.
Could you fit this young lady for those white patent leather shoes," he inquired.
If you don't see me reviewing, it's because I'll be in Nepal and maybe without internet connection. And good luck in the contest.
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
What a wonderfully kind man and a lovely memory to hold for evermore.
I wondered if you needed a question mark in the following but I guess it's more a command than a question.
Could you fit this young lady for those white patent leather shoes," he inquired.
If you don't see me reviewing, it's because I'll be in Nepal and maybe without internet connection. And good luck in the contest.
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
In Nepal? Well, at least you can say you were imspired by the views. I look forward to your report. I appreciate the time and effort to review this. As a.ways, I am honored.
Sending you my best today from across the globe,
Sal xoxo
