Comment from phill doran

Excellent

Hello Anon Writer
This is very, very good. It is a pleasant change to read a piece of this size which actually has a 'story' rather than a sentiment.
I think it might be "...she now lies battered..." rather than "...lays..." - and I'd add a full stop after "battered" - just some thoughts.
I wish you well with this - I hope your different approach is noted and appreciated by teh judges.
cheers
phill

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 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020

Thanks so much Phil for the great review and suggestions. Much appreciated.