Seasons in Stereo
fabulous free versers club post for onomotopoeia26 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Joan,
I enjoyed your poem of the changing season, fall to winter. It will be coming soon enough. Already, the leaves are starting to change color here in southern New Brunswick. Maple trees' leaves are turning red. And it's not even September quite yet. But it's okay with me. September and October are my favorite months of the year... Autumn, filled with color and smells of pickles! Thanksgiving! Halloween!
Your lines of time are very effective,
"In the snap of a finger"
"In the blink of an eye"
"In the tick of a clock"
"In the answering tock"
You also have some terrific onomatopoeia,
"The whisper of the wind
Through the limbs
Become creaking
Bare branches.
In a moaning gale." ... nice imagery, too!
and,
"The rustling green leaves
Are crunching-red and
Brown-beneath your feet,
The babbling brook
is quieted by ice." ... I can tell you've been in the woods in hunting season.
I like the metaphor of a flock of birds becoming driving snowflakes...
"The trilling birds
Become screaming swirling snow."
"A kodachrome world
Becomes black and white" ... a nice way to finish your poem with the change of color from Autumn's red and gold to winter's black and white.
But you know, winter is special in its own way. Sure, we have to dress for the cold and don boots with a super tread to avoid slipping. But a fresh snow is so clean, a cover-up. It isn't until Spring comes with its dirty snowbanks and soggy lawns that we pout. Spring is my least favorite month. All in all, though, we are lucky here to have every season defined.
A nice way to end your poem...
"In the answering tock
All of nature
Rewinds and replays"
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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Hi Joan,
I enjoyed your poem of the changing season, fall to winter. It will be coming soon enough. Already, the leaves are starting to change color here in southern New Brunswick. Maple trees' leaves are turning red. And it's not even September quite yet. But it's okay with me. September and October are my favorite months of the year... Autumn, filled with color and smells of pickles! Thanksgiving! Halloween!
Your lines of time are very effective,
"In the snap of a finger"
"In the blink of an eye"
"In the tick of a clock"
"In the answering tock"
You also have some terrific onomatopoeia,
"The whisper of the wind
Through the limbs
Become creaking
Bare branches.
In a moaning gale." ... nice imagery, too!
and,
"The rustling green leaves
Are crunching-red and
Brown-beneath your feet,
The babbling brook
is quieted by ice." ... I can tell you've been in the woods in hunting season.
I like the metaphor of a flock of birds becoming driving snowflakes...
"The trilling birds
Become screaming swirling snow."
"A kodachrome world
Becomes black and white" ... a nice way to finish your poem with the change of color from Autumn's red and gold to winter's black and white.
But you know, winter is special in its own way. Sure, we have to dress for the cold and don boots with a super tread to avoid slipping. But a fresh snow is so clean, a cover-up. It isn't until Spring comes with its dirty snowbanks and soggy lawns that we pout. Spring is my least favorite month. All in all, though, we are lucky here to have every season defined.
A nice way to end your poem...
"In the answering tock
All of nature
Rewinds and replays"
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the thorough review. I am glad yo liked it so much.
Joan
Comment from Bobby Jo
Yes, except in Australia. Man, devastation is real. We lost so much that it will affect the entire world. Join me in prayer for these people and the animals animal kingdom. This is very good
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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Yes, except in Australia. Man, devastation is real. We lost so much that it will affect the entire world. Join me in prayer for these people and the animals animal kingdom. This is very good
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I am sorry about the fires and the damgae they have done and still are doing. It might just do that in that some animals may go extinct.
Thanks for the reivew
dp
Comment from Mastery
Excellent job on this one Joan. You really have the sounds strongly represented. Like here for instance:
"Become creaking
Bare branches.
In a moaning gale."
Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2020
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Excellent job on this one Joan. You really have the sounds strongly represented. Like here for instance:
"Become creaking
Bare branches.
In a moaning gale."
Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 09-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Bob. Glad you liked it.
Good to hear from you.
Have a great weekend
Joan
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: ) Bob
Comment from Gloria ....
Very nicely written, Joan. I was drawn into the sounds right at the outset snapping finger setting not only tone but time and dry creaking branches. Veeeery good.
Each stanza goes on to emphasize time with the blink, tick and tock.
A well developed poem and full of pitch-perfect onomatopoeia.
Superb.
Gloria
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2020
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Very nicely written, Joan. I was drawn into the sounds right at the outset snapping finger setting not only tone but time and dry creaking branches. Veeeery good.
Each stanza goes on to emphasize time with the blink, tick and tock.
A well developed poem and full of pitch-perfect onomatopoeia.
Superb.
Gloria
Comment Written 09-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2020
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Gloria,
Thanks for the wonderful review. I am glad you found it so pitch perfect.
Joan
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I really like the way you've used these onomatopoeia words. The snap of a finger, the blink of any eye, all very descriptive verses. Nicely done,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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I really like the way you've used these onomatopoeia words. The snap of a finger, the blink of any eye, all very descriptive verses. Nicely done,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the encouraging words and high rating, Valda.
Joan
Comment from June Sargent
I have read a few of these posts for the club challenge and this one is my favorite. You have crafted a piece that includes the sights and sounds of the seasons, without it feeling contrived. It flowed naturally/ and i liked the ending with the ticking clock resetting the cycle. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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I have read a few of these posts for the club challenge and this one is my favorite. You have crafted a piece that includes the sights and sounds of the seasons, without it feeling contrived. It flowed naturally/ and i liked the ending with the ticking clock resetting the cycle. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thanlks for all the stars and the thorough review. I am glad you
enjoyed it.
Joan
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Excellent entry for the club! Such beautiful imagery you have created on nature and the changing seasons. Love the rewind and replay concept. It truly is that! :) xoxo
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Excellent entry for the club! Such beautiful imagery you have created on nature and the changing seasons. Love the rewind and replay concept. It truly is that! :) xoxo
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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I am glad you liked my word choice.
Thanks for the review
dp
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Very welcome!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
It does seem to happen just like that. Before you know it, the transition will begin again. I like the beautiful and descriptive wording you've used in this. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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It does seem to happen just like that. Before you know it, the transition will begin again. I like the beautiful and descriptive wording you've used in this. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review.
I am glad you agree with the sentiment in the poem
Joan
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your club entry is great, DP. I enjoyed reading it and could hear all of your wonderful word choices for sounds. You started with a great sound and ended with one with many super examples sandwiched in between. I like the lines about the crunching red & brown leaves. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Your club entry is great, DP. I enjoyed reading it and could hear all of your wonderful word choices for sounds. You started with a great sound and ended with one with many super examples sandwiched in between. I like the lines about the crunching red & brown leaves. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Jan. for the kind words and high rating. I am glad you liked my choise of sound words.
Have a great day
Joan
Comment from RShipp
What great use of onomatopoeia. I enjoyed lines in each of your stanzas... but the last stanza was the best.
I love the thought of nature's 'rewind and replay'.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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What great use of onomatopoeia. I enjoyed lines in each of your stanzas... but the last stanza was the best.
I love the thought of nature's 'rewind and replay'.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thanks a lot for your time and comments
dp
