Reviews from

Ghost Dad

Massie's dad comes back.

8 total reviews 
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
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Nicely portrayed. If only it was possible, wouldn't it set our minds at ease to hear that they made it into a place where all was well? I would love to see my father again and the aura in your story gives me the feeling of a wonderful satisfaction in the knowing. Well done

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2019
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
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This is a cute ghost story. I've heard many times of people seeing deceased loved ones. I don't think that I'd like that to much. I like what you've done with this and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 18-Dec-2019
    Thanks! I'm so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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It's a story that everyone who is missing a parent wishes for - to connect one more time with them even as a ghost.
Comments:
There are lots of references to 'dad' and when it's used as a proper name, it should be capitalized. But when it's used as a noun, it's not. Example--
""Yes, it's me. Your dad!" dad responded." (Dad responded. Because Dad is used instead of a name.

"her dad left up to Heaven" (Her) as it begins a sentence

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thank you! I have fixed the mistakes. I'm so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from oliver818
Excellent
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What a sad story. LosinG a parent is a terrible thing so I guess having them come back to say hi, I'm ok, would be an amazing experience. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
Comment from nor84
Excellent
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Here's a tip. When there are only two characters in a scene, you don't need speech tags after you establish who speaks first. A reader can follow a two-way conversation for some distance. So, when dad responds, he says, "Yes, it's me." And no speech tag is needed.

Then you change back to the other character without attaching a tag to that line of dialog. It's obvious who is speaking and who is responding. No more tags needed at all.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thanks! Thank you for the Advice! I will keep that in mind. I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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What a sweet ghost story. It was kind of her dad to come back and comfort his daughter and let her know that everything was alright. He will always be watching over her. That's the kind of ghost I like hearing about.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Excellent
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I don't know how many/any people have had a story quite like this one, but I know it's common for our dead loved ones to appear in our dreams. Those visits encouraged me. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
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This was an unusual twist to a ghost story. I liked the positive aspect of dad watching over her forever. I guess true love never really dies. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!