flurries float like butterflies
2-2-5-7-5 contest - a winter vision14 total reviews
Comment from emmaysavage
I like this lovely poem. The form and the art fits with the content magically. Your third and last lines create a picture of the wonders of snowfall.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
I like this lovely poem. The form and the art fits with the content magically. Your third and last lines create a picture of the wonders of snowfall.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Emma
So pleased that my vision matched yours for this winter post. I thought it was a lovely poem too (-:
Mark
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on the your prize. Nice alliteration: winter wonders...flake flurries float...limited lifespan. Lovely picture--perfect accompaniment. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
Congrats on the your prize. Nice alliteration: winter wonders...flake flurries float...limited lifespan. Lovely picture--perfect accompaniment. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Liz,
I so appreciate your review and good wishes. My typical poetry style is 5-7-5, but I like to use letter-alliteration words whenever possible for my short style poems. With minimal words and syllables, I strive to convey a picture of what we may see outside our home. Longer verses are not in my poetry wheelhouse; reviews of the same are very limited (even for my FS friends).
Mark
Comment from dragonpoet
The butterfly is an apt and imagainative metaphor for snowflakes. The artwork matches well. I love fairies.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
The butterfly is an apt and imagainative metaphor for snowflakes. The artwork matches well. I love fairies.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Yo Dragon!
Of course, I am super pleased with the committee's vote, but do like your feedback you just shared about my poem as a metaphor.
Mark
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You're welcome, Mark.
Joan
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
How very true. Of course while those flurries have limited lifespans on their own, once they cluster together in groups they can last a long time. I'd say we should do the some as people, but whenever we get into groups, we cause all kinds of problems. Then again, so do flurries.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
How very true. Of course while those flurries have limited lifespans on their own, once they cluster together in groups they can last a long time. I'd say we should do the some as people, but whenever we get into groups, we cause all kinds of problems. Then again, so do flurries.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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So pleased with your feedback about my contest entry. I had to stretch my typical 5-7-5 format to enter the contest. (-;
Mark
Comment from rama devi
What wonderful artistic alliteration! I especially applaud the combination of consonance with alliteration of L and F, and the fine counterpoint effect of consonant S. The consonance of W in snowflake after winter wonder works well!
And then consonance of T in winter, float ad butterflies is also musically coherent. Well done!
Lovely presentation.
Nice atmospheric tone and imagery with a strong pivotal twist in the closing line, signifying impermanence. Well done.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
What wonderful artistic alliteration! I especially applaud the combination of consonance with alliteration of L and F, and the fine counterpoint effect of consonant S. The consonance of W in snowflake after winter wonder works well!
And then consonance of T in winter, float ad butterflies is also musically coherent. Well done!
Lovely presentation.
Nice atmospheric tone and imagery with a strong pivotal twist in the closing line, signifying impermanence. Well done.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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RD,
Your review tells me you know a lot about creative writing and parsing my verse. I do like to routinely slip in alliterations into my short poems. (Long verses are not in my poetry wheelhouse.) The consonance you cited was not intentional, but I am so pleased you recognized the same. (-;
The pivotal twist is something I try to create in writing more traditional Haiku. But, it is hard to effectively do. Glad this one worked for you.
Wow, the extra star is just delicious icing on my dessert dish. THANK YOU!
Mark
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Most welcome! :)
Comment from Michele Harber
This is nicely done, Mark. I love your images, and the alliteration is excellent. Darn you and your skill at short poems!!! ;-) Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2019
This is nicely done, Mark. I love your images, and the alliteration is excellent. Darn you and your skill at short poems!!! ;-) Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2019
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m
methinks my only forte is short stuff and I do
like to slip in alliterations (-;
thanks, as always, for your support of the same
m
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My pleasure, as always. :-)
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of all syllables in this vividly descriptive,
beautiful piece. Alliteration and the simile are smoothly employed as
effective instruments of expression.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
You have made excellent use of all syllables in this vividly descriptive,
beautiful piece. Alliteration and the simile are smoothly employed as
effective instruments of expression.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Janice,
I do appreciate your comments and review of this verse and others previously reviewed.
Thank you for your kind words.
Mark
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written five line poem about the snowflakes fluttering like butterflies around in the air, their limited lifespan make it all worthwhile to watch.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
A very well-written five line poem about the snowflakes fluttering like butterflies around in the air, their limited lifespan make it all worthwhile to watch.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Sandra,
So pleased with your feedback and stars. Thank you!
Mark
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a beautiful entry for the 5 Line Poem contest.
The artwork is a lovely match as well.
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2019
I think this is a beautiful entry for the 5 Line Poem contest.
The artwork is a lovely match as well.
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 05-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2019
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THANK YOU Sharon for your review and stars for this contest entry.
I am very happy with what I wrote and you reinforced my thought processes.
Mark
Comment from Mackenzie Schmidt
Your poem flurries float like butterflies fits the 2-2-5-7-5 syllable. the name and image elevate the theme of the poem and it was well done.
good luck with the contest
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
Your poem flurries float like butterflies fits the 2-2-5-7-5 syllable. the name and image elevate the theme of the poem and it was well done.
good luck with the contest
Comment Written 05-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks for your support for my entry Mackenzie! So pleased with your compliment. I expanded my normal 5-7-5 by four syllables for this posting (-;
Mark