Comment from lauralumummu

Excellent

Hi Ricky, well this is an interesting piece. Here we have bottled water called Dasani so this person thinking about water is appropriate. I not sure about all the quotations marks you use though. All the best, Laura.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2019

Quotations are just to emphasize words and sentences I believe are important just like capitalization and thanks.
Ricky

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

They say things happen for a reason and the good Lord works in mysterious ways so he was lucky all the way around even though his life was on the line.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2019

Thanks again.
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from tim dodd

Excellent

Now you must collect the water in something I think. That wont be easy. I am glad I dont live in a desert. My car is always running out of gas. I would be in serious trouble. Nice write kept my attention

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2019

Thanks Tim and so glad that you like this.
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Rain in the desert? That IS a miracle. Glad he didn't die. Rain came just enough in the nick of time. Good tension in the story, wanting water so badly, then a miracle occurs... good ending.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2019

Sometimes we don't realize how gifted we are to win we need something so what we consider minuscule since it's right there at the faucet water fountains beverage places throughout the world.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

I think there is a water bottling company that owes you for the free advertising LOL. This is well penned and an enjoyable reading experience. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2019

This is based on a dream and also a horror movie.
Thanks,
Ricky

Comment from Elaine Chiodi

Excellent

The imagery of desertion in a desert is powerful. The short, cropped sentences are believable, when one is conserving all energy, including thought. It's ironic that Dasani is the name of a commercial bottled water, and your Dasani is dying of thirst... ...ec

Should these two "I"s be "is"?
- I this Horrible
- there I not a single

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019

Thanks Selena clock to 2 hours and then I actually increase the story and made reference to the word Dasani if you like to go back and check you will probably find the ending interesting.
Ricky

reply by Elaine Chiodi on 01-Nov-2019

thanks for pointing me in that direction... ...ec