Without Warning!
If the electric grid goes down can you survive?32 total reviews
Comment from Jerome Goldberg
WOW! Well Done! The future could be very dismal. As a retired naval officer I am very concerned. It is truly encumbered that each of us work to be prepared and work to avoid our need to be prepared - Jerry
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2019
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WOW! Well Done! The future could be very dismal. As a retired naval officer I am very concerned. It is truly encumbered that each of us work to be prepared and work to avoid our need to be prepared - Jerry
Comment Written 11-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2019
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Thanks for taking the time to read my story and reviewing it, I am glad you liked it and agree with the need to be prepared.
Comment from Hitcher
I think many would do well here in NZ should the grid go down. Wild game is plentiful, a large majority of the men know how to hunt and survive in the bush and there is only 4 and a half million people living on two Islands who together are bigger than the UK. When it happens and I'm sure it will at some point in my life... I'd rather be here in NZ than any where else on the planet : ))
Excellent story, thanks for steering me in the direction of this one friend: )) Hitch
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2019
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I think many would do well here in NZ should the grid go down. Wild game is plentiful, a large majority of the men know how to hunt and survive in the bush and there is only 4 and a half million people living on two Islands who together are bigger than the UK. When it happens and I'm sure it will at some point in my life... I'd rather be here in NZ than any where else on the planet : ))
Excellent story, thanks for steering me in the direction of this one friend: )) Hitch
Comment Written 16-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2019
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Thanks Hitch
Comment from estory
I liked it. I think you did a great job writing very realistic dialogue and sketching out realistic scenes. I liked how it started as a normal day, the kids rushing to get breakfast and go to school, and then the outage hits without warning, suddenly, out of the blue. I also liked how you feel the gradually oncoming wave of panic as these sense of desperation grips the rest of the world and you have people going out and robbing other people and setting up road blocks, the neighbors begging for help, caught unawares. I could definitely see this happening and unfolding. I great doomsday story in conception and nicely executed as well. estory
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2019
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I liked it. I think you did a great job writing very realistic dialogue and sketching out realistic scenes. I liked how it started as a normal day, the kids rushing to get breakfast and go to school, and then the outage hits without warning, suddenly, out of the blue. I also liked how you feel the gradually oncoming wave of panic as these sense of desperation grips the rest of the world and you have people going out and robbing other people and setting up road blocks, the neighbors begging for help, caught unawares. I could definitely see this happening and unfolding. I great doomsday story in conception and nicely executed as well. estory
Comment Written 02-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2019
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story.
Comment from oliver818
Wow that's scary. I like the way you start with something so simple like a phone not working and then work it into something really big and frightening. The father is a great, eccentric character whose obsession seemed to pay off on this case. Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2019
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Wow that's scary. I like the way you start with something so simple like a phone not working and then work it into something really big and frightening. The father is a great, eccentric character whose obsession seemed to pay off on this case. Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 02-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2019
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Thanks for reading and taking the time to give a thoughtful review, I appreciate it.
Comment from Apriori
I like stories about power grids failing. Good topic!You provide a lot of good, concrete details in this story:
Chevy Equinox, toaster waffles, EMP and solar flares. Lots of good variety in your sentence structure. I do think you have some opportunities to edit some weaker words like: completely, just, etc.
Also, you are missing the word "were" -- in "we couldn't believe the people [were] there already." These are easy fixes! Best wishes for the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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I like stories about power grids failing. Good topic!You provide a lot of good, concrete details in this story:
Chevy Equinox, toaster waffles, EMP and solar flares. Lots of good variety in your sentence structure. I do think you have some opportunities to edit some weaker words like: completely, just, etc.
Also, you are missing the word "were" -- in "we couldn't believe the people [were] there already." These are easy fixes! Best wishes for the contest!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story I appreciate it.
Comment from Susan Morritt
I enjoyed reading your doomsday story, and would look forward to a continuation of it. The scenario is believable, as well as the characters... but what happened to her husband. You have left us hanging...
Susan
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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I enjoyed reading your doomsday story, and would look forward to a continuation of it. The scenario is believable, as well as the characters... but what happened to her husband. You have left us hanging...
Susan
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Thanks, Susan, yes others have asked me too. I may write a book or at least the next chapter. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Ulla
Well so here we go. The end is near, but the fittest will survive. Your story is quite believable and well written. I wonder happened to hubby. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Well so here we go. The end is near, but the fittest will survive. Your story is quite believable and well written. I wonder happened to hubby. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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I may write the next chapter, others have asked me. Thanks for reading and reviewing my story.
Comment from Dawn Munro
This was a pleasure to read, and frighteningly possible, which makes it even more enjoyable, IMO.
"Where(')s Mom?" -- apostrophe needed and then double space before the next paragraph.
I would also use the word "because" instead of "as" in some places. For example -- "...(because) he was out of town on business."
Additionally, after dialogue, we don't capitalize the tag.
But aside from these suggestions, your characters are believable, the pacing great and the plot wonderful. Well done!
Good luck in the contest with this excellent story.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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This was a pleasure to read, and frighteningly possible, which makes it even more enjoyable, IMO.
"Where(')s Mom?" -- apostrophe needed and then double space before the next paragraph.
I would also use the word "because" instead of "as" in some places. For example -- "...(because) he was out of town on business."
Additionally, after dialogue, we don't capitalize the tag.
But aside from these suggestions, your characters are believable, the pacing great and the plot wonderful. Well done!
Good luck in the contest with this excellent story.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Thank you for your helpful review and for taking the time to read it.
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It was my pleasure. :)
Comment from fm wright
A great contest entry! Indeed, we as a society have become way too dependent on technology. Not saying that technology is bad in and of itself, but things like what happened in your story bring this out. I might put an apostrophe in "Wheres mom, so that it reads Where's mom"(contraction for where is) but otherwise it is a wonderfully written piece.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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A great contest entry! Indeed, we as a society have become way too dependent on technology. Not saying that technology is bad in and of itself, but things like what happened in your story bring this out. I might put an apostrophe in "Wheres mom, so that it reads Where's mom"(contraction for where is) but otherwise it is a wonderfully written piece.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story.
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You are truly welcome.
Comment from Sanku
Actually you have written a significant story. We are so dependent on technology and sometimes I used to think that what would happen if one day we are deprived of all that.It is written very well.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Actually you have written a significant story. We are so dependent on technology and sometimes I used to think that what would happen if one day we are deprived of all that.It is written very well.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2019
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story.
