Winds of Autumn
Autumn leaves fall, creating a pretty backyard carpet2 total reviews
Comment from RodG
I like the Autumn scene you are trying to convey here, but without the picture your 5-7-5 does not quite stand alone. I am not sure WHAT is being "loosened" from WHAT. I do like the idea of "mosaics" as the leaves become a carpet.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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I like the Autumn scene you are trying to convey here, but without the picture your 5-7-5 does not quite stand alone. I am not sure WHAT is being "loosened" from WHAT. I do like the idea of "mosaics" as the leaves become a carpet.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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I will consider your recommendation and try to reword. The leaves are being loosened, I will try to make that clearer.Thanks. Change:
Cool autumn winds blow
Loosen Jack's leaf mosaics
Carpeting backyards
Comment from Melonie Kirchoff
A 5-7-5 poem can either be something dull and short or something delightful that feels complete. You've written the latter. Awesome writing, keep it up!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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A 5-7-5 poem can either be something dull and short or something delightful that feels complete. You've written the latter. Awesome writing, keep it up!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Thank you for your read and encouraging words.
