Serene, Beside You
Loop Poem a/b/c/b/ rhyme23 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This peom tells of gentle sincere love. It is romantic and matches the picture well.
Congrats on your third place finish in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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This peom tells of gentle sincere love. It is romantic and matches the picture well.
Congrats on your third place finish in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
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I'm pleased the sincere love came through for you in my poem. Thank you for your congrats.
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You're welcome.
Joan
Comment from Carla Trinklein
Such a dreamy, romantic poem, celebrating the cozy moments of love! This is beautiful, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I hope it does well for you in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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Such a dreamy, romantic poem, celebrating the cozy moments of love! This is beautiful, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I hope it does well for you in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your lovely review and positive comments. I was pleased with this one - first time I've tried a loop poem.
Comment from poetwatch
Well done LisaMay. You got the flow of this Loop poem and it does that--flows-- into the next line like a lover flows into your arms. :) You express that feeling so tender and lovely, not a night of competition. This is a good entry for the Loop Poetry Contest.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Well done LisaMay. You got the flow of this Loop poem and it does that--flows-- into the next line like a lover flows into your arms. :) You express that feeling so tender and lovely, not a night of competition. This is a good entry for the Loop Poetry Contest.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Sorry for late response to your review. Thanks for your positive comments. That was my first effort at writing a loop poem, so I am pleased that you liked it.
Comment from Heather Knight
Even though I think this form is difficult to write without sounding weird, you have done very well.
Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Even though I think this form is difficult to write without sounding weird, you have done very well.
Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Maria. I don't care for the form either. It's the first time I wrote one myself and I didn't want it to sound awkward.
Comment from Gypsymooncat
This is really good! It flows really nicely, lovely imagery I've gots ta say including that very gorgeous pic...makes me think of those first months with someone new; it's all so romantic and dreamy. Actually, that's what I enjoyed the most was the dreamy tone of this poem. Dreamy and romantic...sigh. Gotta be a winner! Good luck xoxoxo
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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This is really good! It flows really nicely, lovely imagery I've gots ta say including that very gorgeous pic...makes me think of those first months with someone new; it's all so romantic and dreamy. Actually, that's what I enjoyed the most was the dreamy tone of this poem. Dreamy and romantic...sigh. Gotta be a winner! Good luck xoxoxo
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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... too good to be true. I can but dream. Thanks so much for your wonderful review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Lisa. This is a very nicely composed piece. The looping words flow well and don't detract or jump out at the reader. I like how you have begun and ended with the same word--dreaming. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Hi Lisa. This is a very nicely composed piece. The looping words flow well and don't detract or jump out at the reader. I like how you have begun and ended with the same word--dreaming. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your nice review, Marilyn. It's my first go at a loop poem and I noticed the example did not loop back to the beginning, but I thought it connected better if the 'dreaming' was repeated.
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And you are correct. Adding that touch of repetition--first and last--is excellent. Marilyn
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I have read some loop poems that sound disjointed, illogical, and forced. Not so with this one. It is skillfully-written, smoothly-flowing, lovely, and romantic.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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I have read some loop poems that sound disjointed, illogical, and forced. Not so with this one. It is skillfully-written, smoothly-flowing, lovely, and romantic.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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I don't like reading loop poems for exactly the reasons you detail. So I am very pleased to read your praising review of my offering.
Comment from karenina
I have to congratulate you on making this loop poem seem so very much NOT like a loop poem. So often the repeated "loop" words trip up the meter, tone, rhyme, emotion of the poem. You laced these in like a delicate ribbon through romantic lace.--Karenina
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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I have to congratulate you on making this loop poem seem so very much NOT like a loop poem. So often the repeated "loop" words trip up the meter, tone, rhyme, emotion of the poem. You laced these in like a delicate ribbon through romantic lace.--Karenina
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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What a beautifully written review! Thank you for these comments.
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Thank YOU for the great "loop" poem!--Karenina
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written loop poem about the closeness we have with a dear one, there is nothing more we want because their presence let us glow with happy dreaming.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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A very well-written loop poem about the closeness we have with a dear one, there is nothing more we want because their presence let us glow with happy dreaming.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your review. May we all find love and dream on!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
A nice, longer loop poem! I see 'moonbeams' gets a second and third variation of sorts in the last stanza with 'beaming' as well. I think this flows naturally. It has a devoted tone or theme of devotion to a "dear" love. I think it comes out pretty optimistic. Not sure what to improve on.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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A nice, longer loop poem! I see 'moonbeams' gets a second and third variation of sorts in the last stanza with 'beaming' as well. I think this flows naturally. It has a devoted tone or theme of devotion to a "dear" love. I think it comes out pretty optimistic. Not sure what to improve on.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your review CC. I wasn't sure how long a loop poem could be as this was the first time I tried one. I don't usually like reading them much as it feels an awkward form, so for you to say it 'flows naturally' is nice praise.