I Don't Love you
husband and wife conversation.18 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
Firstly, congratulations on your 50 years. We've just celebrated 48 years. I enjoyed your story. It's easy to misunderstand a statement, isn't it? lol
If you don't mind me saying, it would be easier to read if there was double spacing between the paragraphs.
I picked up a couple of tiny spags:
"If that is the case, what do we do? Separate divorce what? - I would put question marks after 'separate' and 'divorce'. Speech marks needed after 'what'
I said that I don't love you anymore I did not say I love you any less. - period after 'anymore'
"Darling!" "I love you too." - speech marks not needed in the middle of this sentence.
Thanks for making me smile.
Judy
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
  |
Firstly, congratulations on your 50 years. We've just celebrated 48 years. I enjoyed your story. It's easy to misunderstand a statement, isn't it? lol
If you don't mind me saying, it would be easier to read if there was double spacing between the paragraphs.
I picked up a couple of tiny spags:
"If that is the case, what do we do? Separate divorce what? - I would put question marks after 'separate' and 'divorce'. Speech marks needed after 'what'
I said that I don't love you anymore I did not say I love you any less. - period after 'anymore'
"Darling!" "I love you too." - speech marks not needed in the middle of this sentence.
Thanks for making me smile.
Judy
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
My sorrow at the delay in response time my computer went on vacation the power cord did not make the trip. () thank you for the Anniversary kudos. ()
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Rikki
Comment from Lobber
Oh the subtitles of the English language...perhaps it's easier to communicate in other languages... or is it less easy to be misinterpreted in other languages? Actually I think after 50 years one knows how to send verbal spears to the other side. - Lobber
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
|
Oh the subtitles of the English language...perhaps it's easier to communicate in other languages... or is it less easy to be misinterpreted in other languages? Actually I think after 50 years one knows how to send verbal spears to the other side. - Lobber
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
My sorrow at the response time my compute went on vacation the power cord did not. () Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Rikki
Comment from Sallyo
not love you anymore
not love you anymore."
This almost works... the reason it doesn't quite (for me) is the spelling of the word "anymore". If this was an audio dialogue then it would be fine, but as it's designed to be read, that word is misleading. The term he means is "any more". The term he uses HAS to mean what she assumes it means. There's just no getting around it. I suggest you fix the spelling to the one he means. She could still perceive it as the other.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
 |
not love you anymore
not love you anymore."
This almost works... the reason it doesn't quite (for me) is the spelling of the word "anymore". If this was an audio dialogue then it would be fine, but as it's designed to be read, that word is misleading. The term he means is "any more". The term he uses HAS to mean what she assumes it means. There's just no getting around it. I suggest you fix the spelling to the one he means. She could still perceive it as the other.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
Sorry for the response time my computer went on vacation the power cord did not. () Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
Rikki
Comment from Cindy Warren
Haha, sometimes a guy has to know when to keep his mouth shut, or lie. On a 50th wedding anniversary he needs to tell her he loves her more every day.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
|
Haha, sometimes a guy has to know when to keep his mouth shut, or lie. On a 50th wedding anniversary he needs to tell her he loves her more every day.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
Sorry for the delayed response time my computer went on vacation the power cord did not. () Thank you for reading and enjoying my work.
Rikki
Comment from Alex Rosel
I can imagine this is a fairly typical conversation between couples who have grown apart. You capture the essence of the situation well {smiles}.
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
"No! I said I don't love you anymore. I mean that I do not love you anymore -- Spag? Missing quotation marks?
"If that is the case, what do we do? Separate divorce what? -- Spag? Again, missing quotation marks.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
|
I can imagine this is a fairly typical conversation between couples who have grown apart. You capture the essence of the situation well {smiles}.
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
"No! I said I don't love you anymore. I mean that I do not love you anymore -- Spag? Missing quotation marks?
"If that is the case, what do we do? Separate divorce what? -- Spag? Again, missing quotation marks.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
Sorry for the delayed response time my computer went on vacation the power cord did not. () thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
Rikki
Comment from Harley Dayman Rayne Quinn
I read that like 5 time to realize what that this work of art meant...
Good job that I was that invested in what you were writing that I wanted to make sure I understood it
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
 |
I read that like 5 time to realize what that this work of art meant...
Good job that I was that invested in what you were writing that I wanted to make sure I understood it
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
My sorrow at my response time my computer went on vacation the power cord did not. () that loverly sixth-star makes it all worth the effort. () Thank you for reading.
Rikki
Comment from robyn corum
Rikki,
Yeah, that guy would be much better off not talking at all. hahaha It took me a bit to figure out what he was saying, also. It ended up okay, but it took a while to get there. *smile* Glad they're all right. haha
Thanks!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
|
Rikki,
Yeah, that guy would be much better off not talking at all. hahaha It took me a bit to figure out what he was saying, also. It ended up okay, but it took a while to get there. *smile* Glad they're all right. haha
Thanks!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
I sorrow at the delay in responding to you my computer went on vacation the power cord did not. () Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Susan X Smith
Well, I am glad this little story had a happy ending, although I have to say I was just as confused as his wife while reading it. Maybe instead of keeping his mouth shut he should choose less ambiguous phrasing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
|
Well, I am glad this little story had a happy ending, although I have to say I was just as confused as his wife while reading it. Maybe instead of keeping his mouth shut he should choose less ambiguous phrasing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2019
-
I sorrow at my response time my computer went on vacation the power did not. () Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Rikki
