The Monster Below
Hidden Deep19 total reviews
Comment from QC Poet
Reading this poem offering early on I thought it was a monster within, maybe because some of us have that resentment of something we've suppressed within that monstrous part. Thanks for Sharing. Good Luck in the contest,
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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Reading this poem offering early on I thought it was a monster within, maybe because some of us have that resentment of something we've suppressed within that monstrous part. Thanks for Sharing. Good Luck in the contest,
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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It's definitely about something inside that can't be explained, but changes the person. Thank you so much for this great review. :)
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I can see where you received a first with this poem. It sounds like Halloween and Satan has set in and gain some strength within someone's soul. I am sure it was only a fictional piece and that whoever you wrote about is free from the evil of life...the demonic monster!
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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I can see where you received a first with this poem. It sounds like Halloween and Satan has set in and gain some strength within someone's soul. I am sure it was only a fictional piece and that whoever you wrote about is free from the evil of life...the demonic monster!
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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yes, it's fiction..lol. I really like ghost stories so this went a little further. Thanks for this fantastic review. :)
Comment from papa55mike
Sometimes the greatest monster lives inside. What a wonderfully written and scary poem. Congrats on the win! Best of luck with your writing.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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Sometimes the greatest monster lives inside. What a wonderfully written and scary poem. Congrats on the win! Best of luck with your writing.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 27-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2020
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Thank you for this great review. :)
Comment from Mary Vigasin
You certainly deserved the win on this for its writing and the discovery that the monster within is the one telling the tale.
I truly enjoyed the reveal of the monster within.
The rhyming was perfect.
Regards,
again congratulations.
Mary
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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You certainly deserved the win on this for its writing and the discovery that the monster within is the one telling the tale.
I truly enjoyed the reveal of the monster within.
The rhyming was perfect.
Regards,
again congratulations.
Mary
Comment Written 24-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful 6 star review, you really made my weekend. :)
Comment from equestrik
This is such a profound write and the fact that you could put yourself there to write this is really good. This definitely has a dark theme and is an excellent write for the prompt.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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This is such a profound write and the fact that you could put yourself there to write this is really good. This definitely has a dark theme and is an excellent write for the prompt.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
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Thank you, you are so kind. I'm really glad you like it.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is awesome writing here really scary and eerie. Gives you goosebumps. Instills fear in the reader. Very well done. Great rhyme scheme and flow and a very freaky photo.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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This is awesome writing here really scary and eerie. Gives you goosebumps. Instills fear in the reader. Very well done. Great rhyme scheme and flow and a very freaky photo.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. :)
Comment from roof35
This is an excellent entry for the Dark Theme Contest. You led up to the little surprise perfectly. It is very well written. I enjoyed reading it. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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This is an excellent entry for the Dark Theme Contest. You led up to the little surprise perfectly. It is very well written. I enjoyed reading it. Nicely done.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Thank you for this great review, it's always nice to hear from you. :)
Comment from Pantygynt
The only thing that is spoiling this a tiny bit is the irregularity of the last two lines of few stanzas. The penultimate line should always have the eight syllables with which it starts and the last line should have six so in S4 the layout should be:
'Instead of being here, it seems
he should be in the sod.'
And in S6:
'The only explanation, for
what happened on that day.
This is called enjambment, where the line runs on regardless of the punctuation. We have a bit more of a problem in S8:
'To keep my family safe, no mov -
ing freely anymore.'
Is not really an option but you might have gone for:
'To keep my family safe and free,
no moving anymore.'
But who cares when you won the contest. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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The only thing that is spoiling this a tiny bit is the irregularity of the last two lines of few stanzas. The penultimate line should always have the eight syllables with which it starts and the last line should have six so in S4 the layout should be:
'Instead of being here, it seems
he should be in the sod.'
And in S6:
'The only explanation, for
what happened on that day.
This is called enjambment, where the line runs on regardless of the punctuation. We have a bit more of a problem in S8:
'To keep my family safe, no mov -
ing freely anymore.'
Is not really an option but you might have gone for:
'To keep my family safe and free,
no moving anymore.'
But who cares when you won the contest. Congratulations!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Thanks for reading and for the advice. It's interesting to learn these things. :)
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh goodness. This certainly fits the bill of Dark and Scary. It's very creepy and well done. Great rhyme and meter. I saw no errors and wish you good success in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Oh goodness. This certainly fits the bill of Dark and Scary. It's very creepy and well done. Great rhyme and meter. I saw no errors and wish you good success in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Thank you, I reposted it for Halloween and I did win! Thanks for reading. :)
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OH, great!! Congratulations. =]
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, you made me tremble reading each line :"I think that what I did was right,
no one can disagree.
Except of course, what's buried deep,
the monster that's in me." Congrats on the win:)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Wow, you made me tremble reading each line :"I think that what I did was right,
no one can disagree.
Except of course, what's buried deep,
the monster that's in me." Congrats on the win:)
Comment Written 22-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
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Thank you for reading. Thought I'd repost this for Halloween. Thanks for taking the time to review my poem. :)
