Reviews from

Tadeusz

a story with a body and a cheescake

5 total reviews 
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmmm...I wonder what made that oven blow up. I don't think ovens usually do that. Was it him they were after, or Chris? I'm betting on a crime. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
    Cindy, thank you so much for the kind review:) and I had no idea, if I will make this after the contest a longer story, maybe I will go with your suggestion, the crime motif:)
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Implausible as the list of components that form this story have to be, this effort fills the bill neatly. It makes an interesting and almost amusing contribution out of a gruesome event. I enjoyed it very much.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for your kind words. After I start writing, I let the hero dragged me to the end.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This meets the contest requirements nicely as you tell a complete story about a mysterious death effectively using the list of words and within the total allotted word count. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for this challenging contest. It was hard to come with something that keeps the story fluid and dynamic at the same time. Once I put him in the ditch, the story unfolded quickly. Thank you for this contest.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So with the explosion going badly and two supposed bodies, and although Tad was talking dirty to himself, he was certain he was dead, but they are feeding air to himself. I think this needs some editing, I would go over it again. Good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo : Shit (is) midnight. It's? 2 : He feels air (feeling) his lungs, fillings.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
    Thank you for taking a chance on this piece.
reply by royowen on 07-Sep-2019
    Most welcome
Comment from Alex Rosel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is neatly done. You've slipped the words required by the competition's remit in without them being obvious. Other entries read a little bit convoluted in meeting that requirement.

Here's one point I picked up on:

He feels air feeling his lungs. -- Spag? Do you mean "filling his lings".

Good luck with the competition {smiles}.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for reviewing and catching my typo. Have a blessed day.