Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Suicide or not?"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
12 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Very credible story that includes all the elements required. The plot is well-composed, creating suspense on suspicion of murder. Can we call a viper a vicious "cold" blood murderš???good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Very credible story that includes all the elements required. The plot is well-composed, creating suspense on suspicion of murder. Can we call a viper a vicious "cold" blood murderš???good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello mystery writer. I typically write nothing but short stories poetry and fables. You're a talented writer. This is an excellent story and you managed to tie all the knots, name all the names and even identify the snake. You did a great job. Good luck in the contest I think you get my vote.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Hello mystery writer. I typically write nothing but short stories poetry and fables. You're a talented writer. This is an excellent story and you managed to tie all the knots, name all the names and even identify the snake. You did a great job. Good luck in the contest I think you get my vote.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2019
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Thank you!
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You're welcome
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This fits clearly within the requirements of the contest, and the plot development as measured by the evolution of the coroner's evidence is convincing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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This fits clearly within the requirements of the contest, and the plot development as measured by the evolution of the coroner's evidence is convincing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This sounds like a prologue to a novel rather than a short story, because there is no ending. It's incomplete. You might consider continuing and see if you can extend it and make it a novel of at least 70K words.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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This sounds like a prologue to a novel rather than a short story, because there is no ending. It's incomplete. You might consider continuing and see if you can extend it and make it a novel of at least 70K words.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Thanks I intended to leave this as incomplete the rules limit the submission to 1K. I would consider differently otherwise.
Comment from Coco Jane
Interesting premise.
How would the snake get into the oven? It must have been there to bite the victim in the face.
You have a few comma errors. Paragraph 1, no comma is needed after "known." Paragraph 2, no comma is needed after "dessert."
I like the "unfinished" ending.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Interesting premise.
How would the snake get into the oven? It must have been there to bite the victim in the face.
You have a few comma errors. Paragraph 1, no comma is needed after "known." Paragraph 2, no comma is needed after "dessert."
I like the "unfinished" ending.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Thank you I appreciate your comments
Comment from Rikki66
Sounds like a case for animal control. Unless the snake belonged to someone other than Mr. Nguyen it is not murder nor suicide it is death by a reptile.
Rikki LXVI
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Sounds like a case for animal control. Unless the snake belonged to someone other than Mr. Nguyen it is not murder nor suicide it is death by a reptile.
Rikki LXVI
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Thank you I appreciate your comments
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Welcome.
Rikki
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, perhaps someone planted the snake? It is then not the snakes fault! You made me smile with your tongue in cheek crime mystery story here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Ha ha ha, perhaps someone planted the snake? It is then not the snakes fault! You made me smile with your tongue in cheek crime mystery story here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Thank you it was fun to play around a wee bit.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written short story about the mysterious death that at first glance looked like a suicide, but it was discovered and confirmed that a deadly snakeep bit the victim I his face.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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A very well-written short story about the mysterious death that at first glance looked like a suicide, but it was discovered and confirmed that a deadly snakeep bit the victim I his face.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Your story is complete with all the given words and I find it interesting in how you managed to fit them all into a story. It was also very clever of you to bring a twist into the story with the venomous snake still at large, thank God it's fiction. I don't know how to avoid it.
Best wishes
Sylvia
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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Your story is complete with all the given words and I find it interesting in how you managed to fit them all into a story. It was also very clever of you to bring a twist into the story with the venomous snake still at large, thank God it's fiction. I don't know how to avoid it.
Best wishes
Sylvia
Comment Written 06-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2019
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My sincere thank you. I HATE snakes.....:)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly as you deliver a complete story within the appropriate word count restrictions, and using each of the listed words effectively. I enjoyed the story and was held captive from start to finish. They should check the vents as they would be a great place for a sneaky snake to hideout. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly as you deliver a complete story within the appropriate word count restrictions, and using each of the listed words effectively. I enjoyed the story and was held captive from start to finish. They should check the vents as they would be a great place for a sneaky snake to hideout. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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thank you very much