Lady
She came for a reason.33 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
What a great read, as the story leads and gets the reader believing that Lady may have been your Mother, I would like to see the capitalisation of Mother every time you used her name, an excellent story best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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What a great read, as the story leads and gets the reader believing that Lady may have been your Mother, I would like to see the capitalisation of Mother every time you used her name, an excellent story best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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I'm enlightened by your kind words and review.
Comment from Lobber
Hi,
I have a VERY SIMILAR story...we need to talk.. certain people are granted perceptual skills/talents...skills vs curse vs ??? - I have an uncanny ability to predict- Lobber
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Hi,
I have a VERY SIMILAR story...we need to talk.. certain people are granted perceptual skills/talents...skills vs curse vs ??? - I have an uncanny ability to predict- Lobber
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thank you. I would very much like to have a conversation. It seems we have something in common.
Comment from N. Rabwar
I don't have any sixes, but this story gripped my attention from the first sentence to the ending. I love the visual imagery of the first paragraph and how it effectively creates the mood of the story. I am amazed how well you tell a complete story with so few words and I loved the ending.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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I don't have any sixes, but this story gripped my attention from the first sentence to the ending. I love the visual imagery of the first paragraph and how it effectively creates the mood of the story. I am amazed how well you tell a complete story with so few words and I loved the ending.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Your words are so nice and welcome. I thank you very much and glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from MamaBebop
Hello Tpa,
Good story! I liked how the narrator told his/her mother that she was an angel on earth.
There is a lot of space between the paragraphs which made it a little difficult to read for me, but that's maybe it's just preference.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Hello Tpa,
Good story! I liked how the narrator told his/her mother that she was an angel on earth.
There is a lot of space between the paragraphs which made it a little difficult to read for me, but that's maybe it's just preference.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from CharR
Wow, very riveting. All the emotions; love, sadness, gratitude,...loss is so difficult, glad you found a meaningful, creative outlet. I'm sure you will do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Wow, very riveting. All the emotions; love, sadness, gratitude,...loss is so difficult, glad you found a meaningful, creative outlet. I'm sure you will do well in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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you certainly made my day, thank you very much.
Comment from LisaMay
This is an interesting tale of being saved from certain death by a ghost, or guardian angel in the form of the writer's mother. Grieving can be a time of heightened awareness for the bereaved, and also the spirit may still be lingering, so I believe these things can happen.
Just a couple of things that jarrred with me:
I'm driving to our family's cottage, where I learned to swim with the help of my mother. (There is no mention of water, a river, a lake? How do you learn to swim at a cottage?)
"The fog is thick as a brick."... this is a cliche. It would be better if it sounded more original... and you still need to see through it enough to see the woman crossing your path. Maybe something like: "Wreaths of thick fog swirl around me." (That is still 7 words like previous sentence.)
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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This is an interesting tale of being saved from certain death by a ghost, or guardian angel in the form of the writer's mother. Grieving can be a time of heightened awareness for the bereaved, and also the spirit may still be lingering, so I believe these things can happen.
Just a couple of things that jarrred with me:
I'm driving to our family's cottage, where I learned to swim with the help of my mother. (There is no mention of water, a river, a lake? How do you learn to swim at a cottage?)
"The fog is thick as a brick."... this is a cliche. It would be better if it sounded more original... and you still need to see through it enough to see the woman crossing your path. Maybe something like: "Wreaths of thick fog swirl around me." (That is still 7 words like previous sentence.)
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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thank you for the review and suggestions.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Some would say this was fate, but I think you had an agel watching over you. This is an excellent contest submission. It should do very well in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Some would say this was fate, but I think you had an agel watching over you. This is an excellent contest submission. It should do very well in the voting booth.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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thank you.
Comment from the13thpoet
Happy Thursday to you. Thank you for sharing your flash fiction story with us. To tell a story in just a hundred and fifty words is difficult, I think you executed well. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Happy Thursday to you. Thank you for sharing your flash fiction story with us. To tell a story in just a hundred and fifty words is difficult, I think you executed well. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Tpa. That is a very nice story and of course the MC of the story has her life saved by her recently departed mother. That is my take on the story and it was well written. Robert
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Hello Tpa. That is a very nice story and of course the MC of the story has her life saved by her recently departed mother. That is my take on the story and it was well written. Robert
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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thank you
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You're welcome!
Comment from Gail Denham
Well done flash fiction - held the interest but then there's the surprise ending. A sad ending actually - but life was saved. You have creative imagination.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Well done flash fiction - held the interest but then there's the surprise ending. A sad ending actually - but life was saved. You have creative imagination.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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thank you for your comments.
