The Buried Coffee Can
Hiding his money.43 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Very well-written and powerful poem of an old man who lived and died on his own terms. Very sad that the only interest his children had in the old man was his money.
Brilliantly written.
Regards,
Mary
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Very well-written and powerful poem of an old man who lived and died on his own terms. Very sad that the only interest his children had in the old man was his money.
Brilliantly written.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
Comment from Paulette Wooley1
I likeeeeee it! Its a wonderful story and true account of a good old cowboy. It was well written with just right amount of rhyme in all the right places.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I likeeeeee it! Its a wonderful story and true account of a good old cowboy. It was well written with just right amount of rhyme in all the right places.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
Comment from JennStar
I loved this poem don't know why it reminded me of an old twilight zone episode of an old man who was dying and made his family wear masks that changed their faces to reveal their true selves.
I loved the way this poem tells the story and the words just flow in a wonderful pace.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
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I loved this poem don't know why it reminded me of an old twilight zone episode of an old man who was dying and made his family wear masks that changed their faces to reveal their true selves.
I loved the way this poem tells the story and the words just flow in a wonderful pace.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Jenn, for the exceptionally nice words. A special thanks for the six stars, you honor me.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a very powerful poem about a lonely old man dying with his hidden wealth never found by his greedy children. I can easily picture his life and his death.
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a very powerful poem about a lonely old man dying with his hidden wealth never found by his greedy children. I can easily picture his life and his death.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant. I peg this gem as a winner. Stunning kicker--those ungrateful kids got nothing--he was a sly one! The verse itself is wonderfully evocative per the theme.
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Brilliant. I peg this gem as a winner. Stunning kicker--those ungrateful kids got nothing--he was a sly one! The verse itself is wonderfully evocative per the theme.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
Comment from nomi338
As a man in his late 70s, I am determined that if either of my two children choose to ignore me or my wife, they will be the losers not us. We gave them life and plenty of opportunity. If they choose top ignore or forget about that, we, my wife and I will still have each other and the love of our God and creator is sufficient. Time has proven conclusively that our kids need us much more than we need them.
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As a man in his late 70s, I am determined that if either of my two children choose to ignore me or my wife, they will be the losers not us. We gave them life and plenty of opportunity. If they choose top ignore or forget about that, we, my wife and I will still have each other and the love of our God and creator is sufficient. Time has proven conclusively that our kids need us much more than we need them.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
Comment from Jarvis Popovich
We'll done. Makes sense and right on point. A good ol rhyme, for an old man. Structure was good, rhyme was good. I love the funny ending of not being able to find the coffee can.
Thanks for writing!
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We'll done. Makes sense and right on point. A good ol rhyme, for an old man. Structure was good, rhyme was good. I love the funny ending of not being able to find the coffee can.
Thanks for writing!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
Comment from mermaids
I love how his children never found the coffee can. Excellent story in poetic form. I admire your smooth flow of rhyming words that gives strength to your theme. The character of the old man is well developed and I like him. Nothing less than a six.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
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I love how his children never found the coffee can. Excellent story in poetic form. I admire your smooth flow of rhyming words that gives strength to your theme. The character of the old man is well developed and I like him. Nothing less than a six.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
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Your words make my head swell, you honor me. A special thanks for the beautiful six stars.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
The Buried Coffee Can
by Willie P. Smith
Heh heh your bitter sweet story has a great ending that I didn't expect. I guess he had the last laugh. Well done!
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The Buried Coffee Can
by Willie P. Smith
Heh heh your bitter sweet story has a great ending that I didn't expect. I guess he had the last laugh. Well done!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
Comment from RGstar
Well done. Good luck with this. I love story poems when written well, or they can be too long. This was warm, as well intriguing in a humorous way. I was waiting to see where the money had gone, or what twist was played. Hope this does well for you in the competition.
Well done.
Have a good week.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
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Well done. Good luck with this. I love story poems when written well, or they can be too long. This was warm, as well intriguing in a humorous way. I was waiting to see where the money had gone, or what twist was played. Hope this does well for you in the competition.
Well done.
Have a good week.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
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Thanks, for the very nice review RG. You honor me with the six stars.
Again, thanks.
