Clay's Broken Heart
A young child's pain and suffering is heartbreaking.7 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
There IS nothing worse than seeing a child with a broken heart, especially when that heart is yearning to receive love and support from a parent.
Your story is exceptional; a strong message contained within; your words painting a picture of intense disappointment and pain.
Thank you for highlighting the required words.
This should do very well in the contest! Best wishes.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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There IS nothing worse than seeing a child with a broken heart, especially when that heart is yearning to receive love and support from a parent.
Your story is exceptional; a strong message contained within; your words painting a picture of intense disappointment and pain.
Thank you for highlighting the required words.
This should do very well in the contest! Best wishes.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review. I am glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, Clay's Broken Heart, has the correct word count and uses the assigned words. The sadness and anger invoked by a parent stiffing a child is infuriating.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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This one-hundred-word story, Clay's Broken Heart, has the correct word count and uses the assigned words. The sadness and anger invoked by a parent stiffing a child is infuriating.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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I know it is so sad. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Emma 2
Is this story about, a son missing his mother? I felt like I had to read it twice. But it was sad, and good. A mother should always be there for her son.. Sad and interesting story. (Emma
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Is this story about, a son missing his mother? I felt like I had to read it twice. But it was sad, and good. A mother should always be there for her son.. Sad and interesting story. (Emma
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Yes, the son is missing his mother. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Wonderful! Nice climax and twists, good beginning and reasoned ending, moral is uplifted; a young child's suffering is heartbreaking; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write-Inspire --DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Wonderful! Nice climax and twists, good beginning and reasoned ending, moral is uplifted; a young child's suffering is heartbreaking; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write-Inspire --DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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It was hard to write as it left me sad. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Patty Palmer
A great story! How sad it must be for a child waiting for your parent to show when you only get like limited time to spend together. But each time he still gets ready and believes she will show up.
Great job!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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A great story! How sad it must be for a child waiting for your parent to show when you only get like limited time to spend together. But each time he still gets ready and believes she will show up.
Great job!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Sad to say I based this story on my nephew who was waiting for his mother to show up and once again changed her plans.
Comment from Kelly Alblinger
Writing a story with 100 words is hard. Using specific words is even harder. This was a nice, compact little story, but it would have been more interesting if Clay had spoken a profound truth instead of ruminating on his bad luck. Nice work given the constrictions however!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Writing a story with 100 words is hard. Using specific words is even harder. This was a nice, compact little story, but it would have been more interesting if Clay had spoken a profound truth instead of ruminating on his bad luck. Nice work given the constrictions however!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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It is sad to say I based this story on my poor nephew who came to me talking about his bad luck because his mother was not going to be able to make it to pick him up like she said.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There's much sadness in this story and children never forget this pain in adulthood and can sometimes hold a grudge against a parent. As we learn more, there maybe reasons why a parent does not come and keeping an open mind gives us more understanding, good luck with the contest, you fulfilled the brief by using all the words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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There's much sadness in this story and children never forget this pain in adulthood and can sometimes hold a grudge against a parent. As we learn more, there maybe reasons why a parent does not come and keeping an open mind gives us more understanding, good luck with the contest, you fulfilled the brief by using all the words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review.
