The Legacy He Leaves
Your impact is inevitable, Dad...make sure yours is positive13 total reviews
Comment from pome lover
wow - this word is getting monotonous, but wow!
that is very powerful, Yvette, and with so few words.
You made every one count and got an important message across very
successfully. and the picture is perfect.
Congratulations on a really good 100 word story. very effective!
sometimes I get lazy and don't start sentences with caps. please pardon.
anyway - great story!! don't spend that "money" all in one place. :)
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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wow - this word is getting monotonous, but wow!
that is very powerful, Yvette, and with so few words.
You made every one count and got an important message across very
successfully. and the picture is perfect.
Congratulations on a really good 100 word story. very effective!
sometimes I get lazy and don't start sentences with caps. please pardon.
anyway - great story!! don't spend that "money" all in one place. :)
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the review on this one, Katharine! ;) ;) This one comes from my heart that hurts for some of my students some times.... I'm glad it spoke to you, ma'am! ;) ;) Take care! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from LisaMay
The early use of the words 'namby-pamby', the locked office door, and 'Daddy-dear' set the tone for the daughter's estrangement from her father. It was such a disappointment that he was a no-show, that he'd yet again prioritised something else over his daughter. He reaped what he sowed by his neglect - he has just lost his daughter, who may very well now embrace even more rebellion to compensate for her perceived rejection.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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The early use of the words 'namby-pamby', the locked office door, and 'Daddy-dear' set the tone for the daughter's estrangement from her father. It was such a disappointment that he was a no-show, that he'd yet again prioritised something else over his daughter. He reaped what he sowed by his neglect - he has just lost his daughter, who may very well now embrace even more rebellion to compensate for her perceived rejection.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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My most sincere thanks for your review.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Very sad, but very true. There are many fathers out there that do not realize the influence they have over their children, young or grown. Not only that, but without a strong, caring, involved father figure, a teen or young woman may leave home only to seek out that father figure.
This story is wonderful in that it carries a strong message. You have created a great title (along with description), and the artwork is splendid.
An excellent contest entry. Very best wishes!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Very sad, but very true. There are many fathers out there that do not realize the influence they have over their children, young or grown. Not only that, but without a strong, caring, involved father figure, a teen or young woman may leave home only to seek out that father figure.
This story is wonderful in that it carries a strong message. You have created a great title (along with description), and the artwork is splendid.
An excellent contest entry. Very best wishes!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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You are so very right on all counts! Thank you for your review!!
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, The Legacy He Leaves, has the correct word count and uses the assigned words. The sad story finds Dad missing what could be a last opportunity to engage with his daughter. Cats in the Cradle.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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This one-hundred-word story, The Legacy He Leaves, has the correct word count and uses the assigned words. The sad story finds Dad missing what could be a last opportunity to engage with his daughter. Cats in the Cradle.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review!!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
It's really a good narrative about disappointment. It talks a little bit about how people take some things for granted. They think things will always be okay without investing in them. Good story.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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It's really a good narrative about disappointment. It talks a little bit about how people take some things for granted. They think things will always be okay without investing in them. Good story.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you so very much for your review!
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You're welcome!
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
That's horribly sad. I just posted a poem on the amazing sort of father all girls wish they could have. *smile* Very few of us are actually that lucky - and certainly not this poor girl. Nice story. Good luck!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Dear Mystery Writer,
That's horribly sad. I just posted a poem on the amazing sort of father all girls wish they could have. *smile* Very few of us are actually that lucky - and certainly not this poor girl. Nice story. Good luck!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Read that, I did. :) Thank you for your review!
Comment from Mia Twysted
That is sad and empowering at the same time. I like the way the words run together. They roll off the tongue like you are reading a poem.
It's as if her struggle is my struggle. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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That is sad and empowering at the same time. I like the way the words run together. They roll off the tongue like you are reading a poem.
It's as if her struggle is my struggle. Nicely done.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your review today!!
Comment from Willie P. Smith
Sad story, excellently written. When dad makes a commitment he should
stand by it. At least give a better reason than, "Something came up." Not too many will fall for that old line. Very good story.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Sad story, excellently written. When dad makes a commitment he should
stand by it. At least give a better reason than, "Something came up." Not too many will fall for that old line. Very good story.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your wonderful comments!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This piece of flash fiction is very well-written and sad. It movingly tells a story that would resonate with many--those who feel they are not a
priority to their busy fathers.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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This piece of flash fiction is very well-written and sad. It movingly tells a story that would resonate with many--those who feel they are not a
priority to their busy fathers.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your wonderful comments!
Comment from JLR
Your fiction piece truly stung me deep in my soul as I reflected on putting career ahead of being more available in my children's growing years. I have been trying to play catch-up and one never does. Your story has grip to,it!
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Your fiction piece truly stung me deep in my soul as I reflected on putting career ahead of being more available in my children's growing years. I have been trying to play catch-up and one never does. Your story has grip to,it!
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Wow! Thank you for your wonderful review!!
