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Viewing comments for Chapter 156 "Homeward"
Assorted poetry

11 total reviews 
Comment from judiverse
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Beautiful artwork. It's great when you can find what you want on FanArtReview. Great description of the day burning. Breezes challenge rowing, just as the rower might want to be getting home before dark. Is the day paddling for shore? judi

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
    Two thoughts, obviously.
reply by judiverse on 30-Jul-2019
    it's a dangling modifier thing. judi
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
    Not a sentence. Two lines in a poem.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
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Wow! Now, there's quite an awesome visual image you've painted in this short one, Sir Bill -- you wouldn't even need the pic with this one!! ;);) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
    Thank you, Yvette, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from kahpot
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This is a beautiful presentation, with the paddler struggling against the elements, an excellent 5-7-7 poem, very well done****kahpot

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Thanks, kahpot
Comment from nomi338
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Should pose no problem for a soldier formed by the fire of Marine boot camp and the numerous deployments enjoyed over a storied career as one of the nation's finest. Is your head sufficiently inflated yet? LOL.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    No. Please go on.
Comment from Teri7
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Bill, This is a very well written 5-7-7 poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and very lovely art work that went well with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Teri
reply by Teri7 on 29-Jul-2019
    you are so welcome! blessings!
Comment from damommy
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Excellent. I don't usually review short poems, but this one said 'something' to me. Great picture to match your words. I like the use of 'horizon flame.' Paddling against the wind would be hard.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Yvonne
Comment from Earl Corp
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That is an awesome image you chose to go with your poem Homeward. It certainly is hard to paddle against the wind. Not being s poet, i had more apppreciation for the subject.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Earl
Comment from Mark D. R.
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Another good one Bill. Illustration strengthens your short verse.

great phrasing in:

day burns ...
... breezes challenge

Please consider dropping caps for 'paddling,' or add a period if you want to keep.

Mark

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Mark
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
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You deliver a well constructed 5-7-7 as the line and syllable counts are spot on throughout. A couple of suggestions:
"horizon flames" - would make better sense as horizon's flame.
"land breezes" - would not the word 'currents' instead of "breezes" work better here?
Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    The connection of land breezes correlates to the sundown. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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After a day on the ocean you will be ready to reach the shore as the sunsets and you face the the challenge of the breeze coming from the land, this reminds me of the fun I had in Greece in 2012, love Dolly x

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 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Dolly