Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 156 "Homeward"Assorted poetry
11 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Beautiful artwork. It's great when you can find what you want on FanArtReview. Great description of the day burning. Breezes challenge rowing, just as the rower might want to be getting home before dark. Is the day paddling for shore? judi
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Beautiful artwork. It's great when you can find what you want on FanArtReview. Great description of the day burning. Breezes challenge rowing, just as the rower might want to be getting home before dark. Is the day paddling for shore? judi
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Two thoughts, obviously.
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it's a dangling modifier thing. judi
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Not a sentence. Two lines in a poem.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow! Now, there's quite an awesome visual image you've painted in this short one, Sir Bill -- you wouldn't even need the pic with this one!! ;);) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Wow! Now, there's quite an awesome visual image you've painted in this short one, Sir Bill -- you wouldn't even need the pic with this one!! ;);) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you, Yvette, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from kahpot
This is a beautiful presentation, with the paddler struggling against the elements, an excellent 5-7-7 poem, very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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This is a beautiful presentation, with the paddler struggling against the elements, an excellent 5-7-7 poem, very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks, kahpot
Comment from nomi338
Should pose no problem for a soldier formed by the fire of Marine boot camp and the numerous deployments enjoyed over a storied career as one of the nation's finest. Is your head sufficiently inflated yet? LOL.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Should pose no problem for a soldier formed by the fire of Marine boot camp and the numerous deployments enjoyed over a storied career as one of the nation's finest. Is your head sufficiently inflated yet? LOL.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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No. Please go on.
Comment from Teri7
Bill, This is a very well written 5-7-7 poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and very lovely art work that went well with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Bill, This is a very well written 5-7-7 poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and very lovely art work that went well with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Teri
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you are so welcome! blessings!
Comment from damommy
Excellent. I don't usually review short poems, but this one said 'something' to me. Great picture to match your words. I like the use of 'horizon flame.' Paddling against the wind would be hard.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Excellent. I don't usually review short poems, but this one said 'something' to me. Great picture to match your words. I like the use of 'horizon flame.' Paddling against the wind would be hard.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Yvonne
Comment from Earl Corp
That is an awesome image you chose to go with your poem Homeward. It certainly is hard to paddle against the wind. Not being s poet, i had more apppreciation for the subject.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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That is an awesome image you chose to go with your poem Homeward. It certainly is hard to paddle against the wind. Not being s poet, i had more apppreciation for the subject.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Earl
Comment from Mark D. R.
Another good one Bill. Illustration strengthens your short verse.
great phrasing in:
day burns ...
... breezes challenge
Please consider dropping caps for 'paddling,' or add a period if you want to keep.
Mark
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Another good one Bill. Illustration strengthens your short verse.
great phrasing in:
day burns ...
... breezes challenge
Please consider dropping caps for 'paddling,' or add a period if you want to keep.
Mark
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Mark
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
You deliver a well constructed 5-7-7 as the line and syllable counts are spot on throughout. A couple of suggestions:
"horizon flames" - would make better sense as horizon's flame.
"land breezes" - would not the word 'currents' instead of "breezes" work better here?
Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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You deliver a well constructed 5-7-7 as the line and syllable counts are spot on throughout. A couple of suggestions:
"horizon flames" - would make better sense as horizon's flame.
"land breezes" - would not the word 'currents' instead of "breezes" work better here?
Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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The connection of land breezes correlates to the sundown. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
After a day on the ocean you will be ready to reach the shore as the sunsets and you face the the challenge of the breeze coming from the land, this reminds me of the fun I had in Greece in 2012, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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After a day on the ocean you will be ready to reach the shore as the sunsets and you face the the challenge of the breeze coming from the land, this reminds me of the fun I had in Greece in 2012, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Dolly