Summer
Some dreams do get away.9 total reviews
Comment from Gail Denham
Well told short story - believeable either that she just disappeared or that she remained. It read well, and could have some doubles meanings, I would guess, as summer does slip through our hands so quickly.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Well told short story - believeable either that she just disappeared or that she remained. It read well, and could have some doubles meanings, I would guess, as summer does slip through our hands so quickly.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Indeed Summer slips through our hands quickly. Was she real? I?ll let you decide. Many thanks for your kind praise.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Was this an apparition? Something dreams are made of? You told your story with great sensitivity and reality and it is a pity this one got away! Good luck with the contest, I enjoyed your story, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Was this an apparition? Something dreams are made of? You told your story with great sensitivity and reality and it is a pity this one got away! Good luck with the contest, I enjoyed your story, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Hi Dolly. You are asking exactly what I hoped the reader would ask. Many thanks for your very kind praise of SUMMER.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Poor Pete first seeing Summer, losing his fish, then having to let go of his goddess. I would have liked to have had them had a little time together. They seemed to make a very cute couple. If you've ever heard the comment, "Leave them wanting more!" that is how I felt reading your story. I wanted more!
Great job!
Patty
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Poor Pete first seeing Summer, losing his fish, then having to let go of his goddess. I would have liked to have had them had a little time together. They seemed to make a very cute couple. If you've ever heard the comment, "Leave them wanting more!" that is how I felt reading your story. I wanted more!
Great job!
Patty
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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I am delighted you wanted more after reading SUMMER, Patty. If there had not been a word limit, I would have given you more. Perhaps I will in a future posting. Many thanks for sharing.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a lovely story of adolescent love. The innocence shows through in the discomfort Peter exhibits. Summer seems to be quite at ease with herself as indicated by the way she's chosen to dress, her conversation and actions.
There are a few punctuation fixes needed here:
coves . (remove space)
took a step toward me,. (remove ,)
window peeked amidst the pines.. (remove .)
""Walk along those wet boards (remove ")
Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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This is a lovely story of adolescent love. The innocence shows through in the discomfort Peter exhibits. Summer seems to be quite at ease with herself as indicated by the way she's chosen to dress, her conversation and actions.
There are a few punctuation fixes needed here:
coves . (remove space)
took a step toward me,. (remove ,)
window peeked amidst the pines.. (remove .)
""Walk along those wet boards (remove ")
Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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I am so pleased you enjoyed my short story, Marilyn. It was fun to write as Pete is a recurring character in many of the stories and poems I have posted. Many thanks for the heads-ups on all the typos/errors.
Comment from rockmann
We all have a Summer in our lives, the one that got away. Throughout the entire story I was wondering if she was real or a ghost or his imagination, or what?
In the third paragraph you have Pete netting a trout, and Summer asks, "Catch anything?" He obviously has caught something. Maybe "What did you catch?" or "What do you have there" might be better.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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We all have a Summer in our lives, the one that got away. Throughout the entire story I was wondering if she was real or a ghost or his imagination, or what?
In the third paragraph you have Pete netting a trout, and Summer asks, "Catch anything?" He obviously has caught something. Maybe "What did you catch?" or "What do you have there" might be better.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for sharing SUMMER . I am pleased the story made you ponder all those questions. That was my intent. I also appreciate your suggestions. Both are excellent.
Comment from DonandVicki
Your short story does what all good prose should do, and that is engage the readers imagination. Well written with just enough dialouge. The photograph complements your words.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Your short story does what all good prose should do, and that is engage the readers imagination. Well written with just enough dialouge. The photograph complements your words.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I am so pleased SUMMER engaged your imagination. Thank you so much for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from LisaMay
This is a lovely story, with enough subtlety in it for the reader to have a bit of a think. The fishing after a morning of labour, the catch then loss, the arrival then departure of the gorgeous girl, first having caught perhaps the same fish, then letting it go, the mention of a knight, the first kiss... it all imparted a sense of growing up, a transition into something and a letting go of something else. Maybe tomorrow he'll land the fish and the girl!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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This is a lovely story, with enough subtlety in it for the reader to have a bit of a think. The fishing after a morning of labour, the catch then loss, the arrival then departure of the gorgeous girl, first having caught perhaps the same fish, then letting it go, the mention of a knight, the first kiss... it all imparted a sense of growing up, a transition into something and a letting go of something else. Maybe tomorrow he'll land the fish and the girl!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I really like how you interpreted my story, Lisa. You are exactly right about it being ?a sense of growing up, a transition into something.? Many thanks for sharing and your kind praise.
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My pleasure. I enjoyed your story.
Comment from Sylvia Page
I enjoyed this little romance and the one that got away. It is really a good story and the picture enhanced the imagery it formed. I could just picture her walking up to him and how he forgets about the fish being mesmerised. Best wishes
Sylvia
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed this little romance and the one that got away. It is really a good story and the picture enhanced the imagery it formed. I could just picture her walking up to him and how he forgets about the fish being mesmerised. Best wishes
Sylvia
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I am delighted you enjoyed SUMMER, Sylvia. I am glad I could put you there in the cove with her and Pete.
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You are welcome
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. The lines flow well with great imagery. I like the story your developed--kinda mysterious. The art is a great choice. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed your contest entry, Mystery Author. The lines flow well with great imagery. I like the story your developed--kinda mysterious. The art is a great choice. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 21-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
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Thank you very much, Jan, for sharing my story. I am so pleased you enjoyed it.
