People We Once Knew
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Growing the Great Pumpkin"Short Stories
15 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
First of all, just know if I had a 6, you'd be getting a 6.
This is an exceptional story. You skillfully paced the story out, gradually building up the why's and how's of the pumpkin grower's obsessiveness. Each paragraph finely detailed another significant step in the process.
Your story captured and held my attention. I found it fascinating because I have watched and observed, over the years, others in life (besides pumpkin growers) doing the same thing, disgusted with people and interaction, so secluding themselves to delve deeply into something they could create or control.
I started to copy and paste for you my favorite lines, but they got to be too many. I love how you deeply study and contemplate (and turn into great stories) the human experience.
This is an amazing contest entry. Very, very best wishes!
Gale
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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First of all, just know if I had a 6, you'd be getting a 6.
This is an exceptional story. You skillfully paced the story out, gradually building up the why's and how's of the pumpkin grower's obsessiveness. Each paragraph finely detailed another significant step in the process.
Your story captured and held my attention. I found it fascinating because I have watched and observed, over the years, others in life (besides pumpkin growers) doing the same thing, disgusted with people and interaction, so secluding themselves to delve deeply into something they could create or control.
I started to copy and paste for you my favorite lines, but they got to be too many. I love how you deeply study and contemplate (and turn into great stories) the human experience.
This is an amazing contest entry. Very, very best wishes!
Gale
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your encouraging remarks and support for the story. I am glad that it seems to work in conveying this sense of self isolation and sabotage of relationships. Well, it's on its own now, and we'll see how it does. estory
Comment from WryWriter
I think everyone could relate to this pumpkin grower's desire. Counting on people will let you down most of the time, especially in this day and age of "me." Doing something for the pure joy and challenge of it can be quite rewarding. Great story!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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I think everyone could relate to this pumpkin grower's desire. Counting on people will let you down most of the time, especially in this day and age of "me." Doing something for the pure joy and challenge of it can be quite rewarding. Great story!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the story. I don't know if this is something to aspire to; I kind of viewed this as a tragic self inflicted wound, albeit due to the pain inflicted by others around him. It's how we react to the pain that determines the effect on our souls. Here the narrator is withdrawing from the people he used to care about and encasing himself in a world he can control, with a giant pumpkin. estory
Comment from w.j.debi
This is a well told story. The reader can feel the man becoming more and more isolated and devolving into a lonely character who needs only himself and his obsession with growing the giant pumpkin. In a way, it's kind of creepy because it could, and according to your notes, actually does happen.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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This is a well told story. The reader can feel the man becoming more and more isolated and devolving into a lonely character who needs only himself and his obsession with growing the giant pumpkin. In a way, it's kind of creepy because it could, and according to your notes, actually does happen.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your comments supporting the poem. I am glad you got what I was trying to say exactly. This is indeed a story of someone pulling away from relationships and people and replacing those interactions with ones involving a pumpkin. An issue of control. estory
Comment from J W Warner
I enjoyed this story, the way it sounds all perfectly reasonable but the reader senses the narrator has veered off into obsession.
A slight editing note: "After my mother died, I started a garden in my backyard. When I married Catherine, we moved about fifty miles away, so I didn't get to see as much of my parents after that. "
Once his mother passed, he would only be seeing his father. Not grammatically wrong, but slightly inaccurate.
Otherwise, I liked this very much.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed this story, the way it sounds all perfectly reasonable but the reader senses the narrator has veered off into obsession.
A slight editing note: "After my mother died, I started a garden in my backyard. When I married Catherine, we moved about fifty miles away, so I didn't get to see as much of my parents after that. "
Once his mother passed, he would only be seeing his father. Not grammatically wrong, but slightly inaccurate.
Otherwise, I liked this very much.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks for the excellent review and your encouraging comments and suggestions. At some point I will go over it and tighten it up a bit. But I'm glad the persona and plot worked so well in outlining the theme. estory
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I simply loved this piece. I can't even tell you why but I became quite absorbed in the reading, which is the sign of a great tale, in my opinion. The tone and voice in the piece is spot on, engaging and appealing.
I did jot down a couple of notes as I read through-
black eyed Susans, tiger lilies, Iris, daffodils; all kinds of flowers, - I think Iris should be plural here - irises.
only comes over because your willing to watch something with them on your 42 - because you're willing.
the size of a beachball, in early July, and than a metal wash tub, - and then a.
Just eye balling things, between - eyeballing could be a single word here.
really great pumpkins, of whom there were four or five,- maybe which rather than whom here.
I felt things looked pretty even up.- I think you could omit 'up' from here.
G
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hi there,
I simply loved this piece. I can't even tell you why but I became quite absorbed in the reading, which is the sign of a great tale, in my opinion. The tone and voice in the piece is spot on, engaging and appealing.
I did jot down a couple of notes as I read through-
black eyed Susans, tiger lilies, Iris, daffodils; all kinds of flowers, - I think Iris should be plural here - irises.
only comes over because your willing to watch something with them on your 42 - because you're willing.
the size of a beachball, in early July, and than a metal wash tub, - and then a.
Just eye balling things, between - eyeballing could be a single word here.
really great pumpkins, of whom there were four or five,- maybe which rather than whom here.
I felt things looked pretty even up.- I think you could omit 'up' from here.
G
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks again for the stellar review and all the suggestions. It's a big compliment and very encouraging. I have one more to post from this series and then I will be working on new short stories and new poetry. I have some ideas kicking around and I think they have possibilities. estory
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hello Estory
I can relate to your story having practised horticulture as a business over a period of time. I too gave up a good job to further my passion for growing things. Imagine spending $2500 on a pkt. of seeds that only contained five seeds. I wonder whether they were Filial 1seeds. Your story was realistic and full of images.
Best wishes
Sylvia
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hello Estory
I can relate to your story having practised horticulture as a business over a period of time. I too gave up a good job to further my passion for growing things. Imagine spending $2500 on a pkt. of seeds that only contained five seeds. I wonder whether they were Filial 1seeds. Your story was realistic and full of images.
Best wishes
Sylvia
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks again for the sixer and all your wonderful comments and encouraging remarks. I'm so glad the story got so many people thinking and that so many enjoyed it. estory
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Welcome
Comment from Gail Denham
Amazing that one person could be so engrossed in the growing of a giant pumpkin - but things get hold of you I guess. A bit sad if Max was the only friend.
Good idea for a story
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Amazing that one person could be so engrossed in the growing of a giant pumpkin - but things get hold of you I guess. A bit sad if Max was the only friend.
Good idea for a story
Comment Written 14-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the story. This is really about self isolation and relationship sabotage. Pain does strange things to people. I had a lot of fun writing it and often those are the ones that people enjoy reading. estory
Comment from Ulla
Hi estory, this was a great story about a man who withdrew from everyday life and made the growing of giant pumpkins his passion. I liked the style, how he impassively told how he let wife and kids go. He withdrew from his brother as well. Yeah, I liked it, and it's well written. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Hi estory, this was a great story about a man who withdrew from everyday life and made the growing of giant pumpkins his passion. I liked the style, how he impassively told how he let wife and kids go. He withdrew from his brother as well. Yeah, I liked it, and it's well written. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 14-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Thanks again for all the sixes and your continued support of my writing is much appreciated. It's nice to share some stories with people who can connect with what I am trying to do in this amazing art of storytelling, and read their amazing stories too. Write on! estory
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You are so welcome. This is an amazing forum to grow and get better at what we all like doing. Write.
Comment from Lobber
Hi
Your story has some wonderful comparisons throughout. . like "sherpas Climbing Mount Everest".
Your story offers great insight into obsessions being able to create a "sense of peace, of self determination and accomplishment". It explains why someone could easily spend "$2,500 on a package of seeds". OR . . . Letting the phone ring forever- great insight- - Lobber
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Hi
Your story has some wonderful comparisons throughout. . like "sherpas Climbing Mount Everest".
Your story offers great insight into obsessions being able to create a "sense of peace, of self determination and accomplishment". It explains why someone could easily spend "$2,500 on a package of seeds". OR . . . Letting the phone ring forever- great insight- - Lobber
Comment Written 13-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your perspective on the story. This was a fun story to write and I am glad that it seems to have worked so well. the story is really about self-isolation and relationship sabotage. estory
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello estory
Let me say your story was well worth reading, because, to me it shows what happens when a couple don't get along, especially the man feels the stress an finds something to do to compensate his previous lost.
Gert
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Hello estory
Let me say your story was well worth reading, because, to me it shows what happens when a couple don't get along, especially the man feels the stress an finds something to do to compensate his previous lost.
Gert
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the wonderful support for the story. yes, this is what happens when you cut those bridges and stand on an island by yourself. In many ways, you channel all these needs for satisfaction into the things you can control, and the things you control end up taking over your life. estory
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You are welcome estory
Gert