cowboy's weathered looks
5-7-5 (cracks and crevices)17 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a very well written 5-7-5 poem, my friend. I like the alliteration and the last line is exceptional. The cracks and crevices is a great metaphor~Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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This is a very well written 5-7-5 poem, my friend. I like the alliteration and the last line is exceptional. The cracks and crevices is a great metaphor~Debbie
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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So pleased you liked my craggy looking cowboy's face Debbie!
My 5-7-5 style tries to stick in alliterations for the initial letter whenever I can. I also like to play on words. In a previous 5-7-5 post, I actually only used three words, but my ingenuity (my view!) only earned me a few reviews.So some FS reviewers are not as generous as you are (-:
Mark
Comment from LucyB
The more I read 'the cowboy's weathered looks' the more I enjoyed it! If you hadn't provided the photo of the old man, I believe I would have seen him, before long, looking just like the picture! You did a wonderful job depicting this tired, worn out, old cowboy!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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The more I read 'the cowboy's weathered looks' the more I enjoyed it! If you hadn't provided the photo of the old man, I believe I would have seen him, before long, looking just like the picture! You did a wonderful job depicting this tired, worn out, old cowboy!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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Thanks Lucy!
I don't know the backdrop of the photographer's subject, but I am guessing this cowboy is still working on his ranch! So glad you liked my simple wording in this 5-7-5 format, which is my principal writing style (including alliteration whenever I can sneak it in). My poetry wheelhouse is not capable of composing longer verse.
Mark
Comment from RodG
A wonderful pairing of poem and photograph. Easy to visualize the cowboy's weathered face. Here you have used alliteration and consonance with aplomb--especially the Cs. Rod
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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A wonderful pairing of poem and photograph. Easy to visualize the cowboy's weathered face. Here you have used alliteration and consonance with aplomb--especially the Cs. Rod
Comment Written 19-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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Rod,
OK, this is another example of my alliterative style. Pleased you enjoyed this 'look' at this weathered cowboy.
Mark
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An excellent word portrait. Rod
Comment from zanya
With words and visual matching, this restricted format of the 5-7-5 tells a story of a lifetime 'cowboy's weathered face '- and with an alliterative touch to booth
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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With words and visual matching, this restricted format of the 5-7-5 tells a story of a lifetime 'cowboy's weathered face '- and with an alliterative touch to booth
Comment Written 19-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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Thanks for your comment about this cowboy verse. The selected photo allowed me to reinforce my few words. I appreciate your stars too.
Mark
Comment from Gail Denham
"Life lines of leather" - what a great line. And that is truly what some ofthose old faces show - those that have been exposed to weather all their life. Growing up where we did, we were tanned all summer - probably not good for the skin.
Great poem - great image
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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"Life lines of leather" - what a great line. And that is truly what some ofthose old faces show - those that have been exposed to weather all their life. Growing up where we did, we were tanned all summer - probably not good for the skin.
Great poem - great image
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Thanks Gail for your review, comments, and stars for this cowboy look. Honestly, after finding the picture, the words did change to reflect those life lines.
Mark
Comment from Joan E.
You selected the perfect picture to reinforce the "cracks and crevices". I admired your use of abundant alliteration in this short but compelling poem. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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You selected the perfect picture to reinforce the "cracks and crevices". I admired your use of abundant alliteration in this short but compelling poem. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Joan,
As you know, shortness is my poem/verse style. And yes, it was a great picture found that I found on the Internet. Thanks for those stars and comments.
Mark
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your 575, Mark. Good job with the syllable count. Your words flow well, the alliteration of 'c' and 'l' is great, the imagery is perfect, and your image is perfect. Where would be without cowboys of the Old West? Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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I enjoyed your 575, Mark. Good job with the syllable count. Your words flow well, the alliteration of 'c' and 'l' is great, the imagery is perfect, and your image is perfect. Where would be without cowboys of the Old West? Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Jan,
Wowee! Your extra star is so special. THANK YOU. Your frequent support and comments on my short-style poems/verses are much appreciated. So pleased that my overall presentation made a difference for you.
Mark
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your syllables are all excellently used to describe vividly the cowboy's face. Your poem is an effective reaction to the picture. Great use of alliteration
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Your syllables are all excellently used to describe vividly the cowboy's face. Your poem is an effective reaction to the picture. Great use of alliteration
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Thanks Janice for your comments and stars. So pleased that the picture affected you so.
Mark
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mark,
I'm offering six stars for your poem, partly because it tells a story. Cowboys worked hard, sunup to sundown. They drank strong coffee, ate beans and bacon, and slept on the ground most of their lives. They squinted in the sun. They rode their horses on sore butts. Aching muscles and sore joints, they never stopped until the herd was delivered. The best part of their day was a campfire before they closed their eyes. They never knew when thunder & lightning might stampede the whole bunch.
You've got some nice alliteration, too...
"cracks and crevices"
and,
"leathery life lines"
One suggestion, I might have put it,
(life lines of leather)
I like the verb you chose, "etch"
And finally, a great picture of an old cowpoke. He might be North American Indian, if I'm not mistaken. There's a lot of sorrow in those eyes.
Nicely penned!
Thanks for sharing!
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Hi Mark,
I'm offering six stars for your poem, partly because it tells a story. Cowboys worked hard, sunup to sundown. They drank strong coffee, ate beans and bacon, and slept on the ground most of their lives. They squinted in the sun. They rode their horses on sore butts. Aching muscles and sore joints, they never stopped until the herd was delivered. The best part of their day was a campfire before they closed their eyes. They never knew when thunder & lightning might stampede the whole bunch.
You've got some nice alliteration, too...
"cracks and crevices"
and,
"leathery life lines"
One suggestion, I might have put it,
(life lines of leather)
I like the verb you chose, "etch"
And finally, a great picture of an old cowpoke. He might be North American Indian, if I'm not mistaken. There's a lot of sorrow in those eyes.
Nicely penned!
Thanks for sharing!
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Kimbob,
I already replied to the six star FS notification, but your analysis was terrific. My guess if you are into writing a long story or verse that you have fodder (with your comments) for a future western saga.
Mark
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Cowboy's Weathered Looks, has the right set up and brings the tough and resilient cowhand into our consciousness. The outdoors builds bark on the tough old cowpoke.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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This 5-7-5, Cowboy's Weathered Looks, has the right set up and brings the tough and resilient cowhand into our consciousness. The outdoors builds bark on the tough old cowpoke.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Bill,
I do like the image you expressed with "The outdoors builds bark on the tough old cowpoke." Maybe you will run with this to create your own western poem. (-:
Mark
