Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Dean would be proud of you--may he rest in peace. I am glad your story was well received. I certainly did not expect "long conversations with the devil" as the solution, nor the horrific conclusion! Well done- Joan

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019

That's great praise indeed.
Thanks for reading.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Exceptional

This really is horrific. Fantastic. You really have knocked the nail on the head. Thanks for sharing, even if you consider it to be still experimental.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019

Thanks so much for reading and for the generous rating. Have a lovely day.

Comment from A. Willow Bends

Excellent

OMG! Creepy. You do not need classes from anyone. You write quite well of deals with the devil and this one is top of the line frightening as hell, no pun intended. We do tend to make deals with our higher power, but avoid deals with the lower power. I think you have pointed out good reasons why this is so. This is certainly a different avenue for you in writing. Good job with it. Let Dean write what Dean writes and you stick to your own thoughts. You are doing just fine!
Wendy

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2019

Thanks so much for this kind review, Wendy. Have a lovely day.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi MJ,

I think you did a pretty good job with this. There is an unusual tone to it, not normally associated with horror, but then, that's no bad thing really. It works more in the first person.

Personally I'd omit the last line and leave it with the devil's dialogue.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2019

Thanks so much for reading, Gareth.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Oh my goodness Maria...I did not see that coming! I thought maybe he'd take the boyfriend or something! A good offering for the contest, ma'am -- as surprise is a good thing in these!! ;) ;) Thanx for sharing and good luck! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019

Thanks so much, Yvette. I'm going to need the good luck, your own story was great.

reply by Y. M. Roger on 02-Jul-2019

Naaaah... the committee doesn't like the longer ones! :) I just can't seem to work magic in the short ones like you do!! ;) ;) Take care! :)

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019

Well, you win a lot more competitions than I do. I only enter the free ones and have only won one. I got more prizes when I entered the other ones, but never seem to have enough dollars.

Comment from Gail Denham

Excellent

Boy that fits the horror category. On a grand scale. Doesn't pay to make deals with the enemy of our souls. I remember one place in the Bible where Saul went to a witch - bad choice.
Good quick horror story.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019

Thanks, Gail.

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hi Maria :)
It seems you can turn your hand to any genre!
I like that your narrative still sounds like you (your writing style is distinctive.) The fact that it sounds like you, but is horror, gives the story an extra something, I think because it is unexpected.
Nicely done :)
Best wishes as always and good luck in the contest.
Debra :) x

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019

Thanks, Debra. xxx

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Well dang...
that devil ripped her off, ha ha.
I enjoyed every word of this Miss Maria.
It read 'real' and sounds exactly like
the type of hellish stunt the devil
would pull.
Wonderful story!
Blessings...

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019

Thanks so much for reading. xxx

reply by Irish Rain on 01-Jul-2019

You're welcome!!

Comment from aryr

Excellent

Good luck with the contest, Maria. This was indeed a rather horrific story. You may claim to need classes from Dean but you did very well with this. It had a nice reading flow to it, you stated the facts clearly and threw an amazing twist at the end. I think you did a fantastic job.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019

Thanks, Aryr.

reply by aryr on 02-Jul-2019

most welcome Maria.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written story about the desperation that can make us make a deal with the devil himself to get what we want and when he delIvers our wish he comes to collect what he wants.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019

Thanks for your review, Sandra.