Best Birthday Barbecue EVER
Anna throws me a barbecue with A-list guests50 total reviews
Comment from WryWriter
Now that is what I'd call a real birthday party! All your heroes there to celebrate with you. What a wonderful imaginative tale! Enjoyed this read.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Now that is what I'd call a real birthday party! All your heroes there to celebrate with you. What a wonderful imaginative tale! Enjoyed this read.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Darlene BoClair
I liked all the men in your life, each making their own great contribution to a 58th birthday celebration. Dinner with a bring your own BYOB theme(homemade sour mash, bourbon, red wine therefore saving the best grin for last. Indeed a fun read and a tasty meal entertains the soul. A fun read leaves no error for what I think needs work. Happy Birthday!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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I liked all the men in your life, each making their own great contribution to a 58th birthday celebration. Dinner with a bring your own BYOB theme(homemade sour mash, bourbon, red wine therefore saving the best grin for last. Indeed a fun read and a tasty meal entertains the soul. A fun read leaves no error for what I think needs work. Happy Birthday!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much for the six stars, and on a Saturday! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from pome lover
that's a really good entry and story!
made me smile.
I especially like the ending. Pretty neat!
Looks like you're going to be the winner.
good going.
pome lover
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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that's a really good entry and story!
made me smile.
I especially like the ending. Pretty neat!
Looks like you're going to be the winner.
good going.
pome lover
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much pome lover. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from LaFrance
Hi, Your story is excellent I joyed how you introduced your guest to the barbeque. I would be intrigued by how their conversion went, maybe a chapter 2?
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Hi, Your story is excellent I joyed how you introduced your guest to the barbeque. I would be intrigued by how their conversion went, maybe a chapter 2?
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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There could be a chapter 2. Thank you very much for the six star rating, and on a Saturday! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I really like this. I like all of the guests that were selected from history. Stan Lee is always showing up in the Marvel Comics movies with cameo appearances. The last guest sealed the deal. Who could be a better guest than a Grandpa or a Grandma. I enjoyed this well thought out and well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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I really like this. I like all of the guests that were selected from history. Stan Lee is always showing up in the Marvel Comics movies with cameo appearances. The last guest sealed the deal. Who could be a better guest than a Grandpa or a Grandma. I enjoyed this well thought out and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer, (4)
This is a really interesting piece -- it's always fascinating to see who we would all choose to entertain from the past, don't you think? But, my favorite of your guests was definitely the grandparent. *smile* Great choice!
Some notes:
1.) "Howdy, I'm Dan'l Boone, I was invited for vittles with Merle(.)" he said.
--> a lot of your lines are run-ons. Suggest:
--> "Howdy(!) I'm Dan'l Boone(.) I was invited for vittles with Merle(.)" he said.
2.) He handed me the jug as I stood there dumbfounded, did Anna really spend money to feed an actor on my birthday?
--> break into two sentences
3.) "Just call me Dan'l(,) ma'am, (and I'd) take a glass of that," he said(,) pointing to the jug.
4.) "Mr. Wayne, the party will be out on the patio, could I take that?"
(s)he asked as she plucked the bourbon out of the Duke's hands.
--> semi colon OR two sentences
5.) "Merle, why don't you join your guests on the patio and start grilling the steaks(?)"
A great entry for the contest and very imaginative. Good luck. Let me know if you edit, please!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Dear Mystery Writer, (4)
This is a really interesting piece -- it's always fascinating to see who we would all choose to entertain from the past, don't you think? But, my favorite of your guests was definitely the grandparent. *smile* Great choice!
Some notes:
1.) "Howdy, I'm Dan'l Boone, I was invited for vittles with Merle(.)" he said.
--> a lot of your lines are run-ons. Suggest:
--> "Howdy(!) I'm Dan'l Boone(.) I was invited for vittles with Merle(.)" he said.
2.) He handed me the jug as I stood there dumbfounded, did Anna really spend money to feed an actor on my birthday?
--> break into two sentences
3.) "Just call me Dan'l(,) ma'am, (and I'd) take a glass of that," he said(,) pointing to the jug.
4.) "Mr. Wayne, the party will be out on the patio, could I take that?"
(s)he asked as she plucked the bourbon out of the Duke's hands.
--> semi colon OR two sentences
5.) "Merle, why don't you join your guests on the patio and start grilling the steaks(?)"
A great entry for the contest and very imaginative. Good luck. Let me know if you edit, please!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you for pointing out these editing errors, it makes my piece that much stronger. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from susand3022
Dear Author, This was a really fun dinner party/backyard barbeque! I love that everyone brought their favorite booze to the party, that was a nice touch. :) Good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Dear Author, This was a really fun dinner party/backyard barbeque! I love that everyone brought their favorite booze to the party, that was a nice touch. :) Good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I have some idea who I would bring back with me if I could travel back in time, Anonymous Poet.
My dad would be the first person on my list, followed by Samuel Clemons (better known as Mark Twain), Robert Frost, Robert Bloch and last, but certainly not least, Mr. Edgar Allan Poe.
I really loved the surprise ending to this flash fiction tale.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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I have some idea who I would bring back with me if I could travel back in time, Anonymous Poet.
My dad would be the first person on my list, followed by Samuel Clemons (better known as Mark Twain), Robert Frost, Robert Bloch and last, but certainly not least, Mr. Edgar Allan Poe.
I really loved the surprise ending to this flash fiction tale.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Mark Twain would be cool, I think Poe would be a downer. Remember you were only allowed four dinner guests. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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I'd want to meet Poe most of all.
Good luck to ya'!
~Dean
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello. I really liked your offering. I don't know who I would invite if I had that chance. I don't think anyone would come anyway. The fact that your grandpa was your best guest, among them was the touching icing on the cake.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Hello. I really liked your offering. I don't know who I would invite if I had that chance. I don't think anyone would come anyway. The fact that your grandpa was your best guest, among them was the touching icing on the cake.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from estory
The O Henry twist at the end was well done. I really liked how you set this up, with Daniel Boone, John Wayne, Stan Lee all arriving for the party, and then the most special guest is your grandfather. I think it really says how important family is. Bigger than the trailblazers, the cowboys, the marvel action heros. Nice choice of the heros really emphasizes the point. estory
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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The O Henry twist at the end was well done. I really liked how you set this up, with Daniel Boone, John Wayne, Stan Lee all arriving for the party, and then the most special guest is your grandfather. I think it really says how important family is. Bigger than the trailblazers, the cowboys, the marvel action heros. Nice choice of the heros really emphasizes the point. estory
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much estory. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
