Where's Lily?
Poem For A Child Contest Entry8 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Cool poem! Clever little Lily provided the best surprise. That clown is a wimp. You've written this in a very entertaining manner... I see it is doing well in the voting and I hope it wins (outright). Good luck, LS from LM
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Cool poem! Clever little Lily provided the best surprise. That clown is a wimp. You've written this in a very entertaining manner... I see it is doing well in the voting and I hope it wins (outright). Good luck, LS from LM
Comment Written 21-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Thank you, girlfriend! This was actually MY idea and we struggled to keep it elementary so a six year old would understand the words. I had my youngest granddaughter, Lily, in mind while writing this. She's 9 now, but when she was six years old she was a little stinker and exhausting. She totally would have pulled this trick on everyone. Thanks for these lovely comments. Much appreciated!
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I see your poem has advanced ahead of the pack. Fingers crossed for you.... mine might sneak into 3rd.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
HAHAHAH! This is absolutely darling! Go Lily! She was clever and gave herself the ultimate birthday present! Great entry for this contest. I bet you are going to do GREAT! Good luck to you. xo
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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HAHAHAH! This is absolutely darling! Go Lily! She was clever and gave herself the ultimate birthday present! Great entry for this contest. I bet you are going to do GREAT! Good luck to you. xo
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Rachelle! I do have a granddaughter named Lily and I had her in mind while writing this. When she was six she was exhausting!! It really helped me focus on writing for a child, which was challenging but loads of fun. I appreciate this review and I'm thrilled that you liked it!
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I liked it very much! Have you shared this poem with your Lily? I bet she'd love it! xo
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Not yet. I was hoping I'd be able to tell her I won this contest. Yes, she'll be strutting around her older sisters (13 year old twins) chiming.."Grandma wrote about me, not you." LOL!
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Ooooh!! Bragging rights!! That is QUITE the gift you bestowed there, Grandma!! :)
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Like pouring gasoline on a fire! Ha! Can't wait to hear what my daughter says about this. "Oh, geez, Mom. Thanks for cranking her up. AGAIN!!"
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Hey, with twin older sisters, Lily needs SOME kind of special leverage! I say Go You!!
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That was the theory... and she took full advantage of the leverage concept early on. Plus she was so different from the twins. When Lily was about 4 years old, I told my daughter that THIS was the child they would need to stash bail money for. She's a pistol. I call her doodle bug, everybody else calls her Lily bean. She KNOWS she's adorable. And she takes full advantage of it. Interesting child. I love interesting children. Especially ones I've never met before. I always ask little boys if they are married yet. I get just killer responses from them. So damn cute!!
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Oh, that's a GOOD question to ask!! Hahaha! I want to hear your favorite reply.
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Is Lily the child you wished on your daughter? Was your daughter a pistol?
Comment from moongirlwriter
This is a cute surprise, very typical of a six year old child. I did have to stop and re-read to understand the transition but over-all. . . a fun read.
The best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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This is a cute surprise, very typical of a six year old child. I did have to stop and re-read to understand the transition but over-all. . . a fun read.
The best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Thanks! Your comments are greatly appreciated. This was fun to write and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yes, VERY typical of a six year old. LOL.
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It looks like you might have won the contest. Congrats to you! :)
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Thanks!
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:)
Comment from barkingdog
'She even scared the clown' got me. Very visual. I saw the family gathering, and then searching for her. I saw her hiding... grinning at HER own surprise.
Nice smooth read. Rhyme was perfect.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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'She even scared the clown' got me. Very visual. I saw the family gathering, and then searching for her. I saw her hiding... grinning at HER own surprise.
Nice smooth read. Rhyme was perfect.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for this great review! This was a fun write for me even though very challenging trying to create a story that a six year old would want to listen to. I appreciate your time to read and comment on this piece. Thanks!
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It looks like you are on the top of the heap. We'll know by tomorrow. hah
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Yep, I'm excited! I wrote this with my granddaughter, Lily, in mind. She's nine, but when she was six she was a little trickster and exhausting. Would love to tell her this Grandma won the contest!!!
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I think you've got it. Fingers crossed.
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Thanks'
Comment from ShyWri
A delightful poem about a mischievous child who turns tables on her family when she overhears that they have planned a surprise party for her. The fun part was in imagining her in the closet and anticipating her fun when she can jump out to say "surprise." Thank you for the poem.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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A delightful poem about a mischievous child who turns tables on her family when she overhears that they have planned a surprise party for her. The fun part was in imagining her in the closet and anticipating her fun when she can jump out to say "surprise." Thank you for the poem.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
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Thank you! Writing for a child to read or listen to turned out to be a challenge but it was fun! I appreciate this review and your time to read and comment on this. Thanks!
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You are welcome.
Comment from DragonSkulls
Haha. That little wench. Poor clown. Probably gave him a heart attack. If I was her parents, I'd whip her butt and tell all her friends to go home. Lol. Just kidding. This was a great little story with the 'surprise' ending, author. I'm sure children everywhere will love it. I wish you the best of luck in the booth.
One point and two cents...Dang. Lol.
DS
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Haha. That little wench. Poor clown. Probably gave him a heart attack. If I was her parents, I'd whip her butt and tell all her friends to go home. Lol. Just kidding. This was a great little story with the 'surprise' ending, author. I'm sure children everywhere will love it. I wish you the best of luck in the booth.
One point and two cents...Dang. Lol.
DS
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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LOL! Yes, I also thought about a totally different ending for this as well. Can't tell a story to a child that ends with Grandpa seizing in a massive heart attack when she jumps out of the closet. Ha! Thank you, Mr. Skulls for this review. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a delightful story! Lily is a joker after all and surprised everyone else on her birthday, I enjoyed your sweet words and wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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This is a delightful story! Lily is a joker after all and surprised everyone else on her birthday, I enjoyed your sweet words and wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thanks Dolly. This write taught me quite a bit about using basic English words that a child could read and understand. I'm glad you enjoyed this and appreciate your time here. Thank you!
Comment from Elizabeth Johnson1
What a great poem! I love how she got to surprise everyone instead of everyone surprising her. Very well written and descriptive enough to make me smile at the though of what the child did.
Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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What a great poem! I love how she got to surprise everyone instead of everyone surprising her. Very well written and descriptive enough to make me smile at the though of what the child did.
Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I thought this would be easy but it was challenging to write something a child could read or have it read to them and they would understand it. Your comments are great and I appreciate you taking the time to read and review this. Thanks again!
