Holding Faith
freestyle poetry18 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
I love this! It's universal in application, which is a favorite aspect of Faith themed poetry for me. This is voiced with simplicity and directness. Fine alliteration of M and P and consonance of L and P.
My only suggestion is to add punctuation for these lines (since you use it for the others):
The mind will think(,)
The heart will pray(.)
And alternative that might work well for your poem is to use line breaks for pauses and avoid punctuation altogether. Just a though. Here is an example:
The wheels must be set in motion
But there may be multiple paths
The mind will think
The heart will pray
Patience through time unfolds the truth
Potent closing AHA line:
Patience through time unfolds the truth.
Bravo.
Lovely presentation too.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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I love this! It's universal in application, which is a favorite aspect of Faith themed poetry for me. This is voiced with simplicity and directness. Fine alliteration of M and P and consonance of L and P.
My only suggestion is to add punctuation for these lines (since you use it for the others):
The mind will think(,)
The heart will pray(.)
And alternative that might work well for your poem is to use line breaks for pauses and avoid punctuation altogether. Just a though. Here is an example:
The wheels must be set in motion
But there may be multiple paths
The mind will think
The heart will pray
Patience through time unfolds the truth
Potent closing AHA line:
Patience through time unfolds the truth.
Bravo.
Lovely presentation too.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Hi! Thank you :)
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:-)))
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Poet suggests: keep working, hold faith, pray by heart, let mind think, live on, patience through time will unfold truth; well said, well done. Write-Inspire-Change --DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Poet suggests: keep working, hold faith, pray by heart, let mind think, live on, patience through time will unfold truth; well said, well done. Write-Inspire-Change --DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thank you :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Patience indeed finally reveals the truth about situations and whilst we remain in the dark we can have hope and pray that our path is righteous, I enjoyed your words Alicia, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Patience indeed finally reveals the truth about situations and whilst we remain in the dark we can have hope and pray that our path is righteous, I enjoyed your words Alicia, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Thank you :)
Comment from moongirlwriter
As I read this poem, I felt that last line should read, "Patience through time unfolds God's plan". Just me, but the very best to you with this poem in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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As I read this poem, I felt that last line should read, "Patience through time unfolds God's plan". Just me, but the very best to you with this poem in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
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Hi! Nice edit note. I thought about it, but not everyone believes in God. Some right saviors or angels instead. Thank you :)
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you are right, some people may not believe in God. . .so if you are writing for others, I get that. I seem to only penn what is important to me. :)
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Alicia,
"Patience through time unfolds the truth" ... luv this! This is a great entry for the Faith contest. I hope it fares well. I think you have a winner here.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Hi Alicia,
"Patience through time unfolds the truth" ... luv this! This is a great entry for the Faith contest. I hope it fares well. I think you have a winner here.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 22-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you again. Love the stars :)
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a very strong definition of faith in a non rhyming almost limerick or tankaish format. Interesting artwork.
Good luck in the contest. Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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This is a very strong definition of faith in a non rhyming almost limerick or tankaish format. Interesting artwork.
Good luck in the contest. Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you :)
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No problem.
~Joan
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Holding Faith, delivered in a freestyle framework, finds the test of one's faith to be taken on many roads over a long time with the aid of prayerful decision-making. Nice.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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This poem, Holding Faith, delivered in a freestyle framework, finds the test of one's faith to be taken on many roads over a long time with the aid of prayerful decision-making. Nice.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very wel-written poem about faith that takes its own path and time to set into our minds and heart. We need to be consistent in faith and hope until the truth unfolds with patience.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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A very wel-written poem about faith that takes its own path and time to set into our minds and heart. We need to be consistent in faith and hope until the truth unfolds with patience.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you :)
Comment from royowen
This is a great half amphion poem Dear Alicia, this looks like the interior of church or a mosque, and indeed you'll find faith in there. A beautiful written truism My friend, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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This is a great half amphion poem Dear Alicia, this looks like the interior of church or a mosque, and indeed you'll find faith in there. A beautiful written truism My friend, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you :)
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I welcome
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I welcome
Comment from Dutchie
Great poem, Alicia. Yes the wheels must be set in motion, but there are many paths...It's also a culture thing I think. If you are born in Pakistan you have another way of believing than in Europe..... All paths led to the same goal and at the end we get the same award because we all believe in the same... Hugs Fia
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Great poem, Alicia. Yes the wheels must be set in motion, but there are many paths...It's also a culture thing I think. If you are born in Pakistan you have another way of believing than in Europe..... All paths led to the same goal and at the end we get the same award because we all believe in the same... Hugs Fia
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you again :)
