Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Almost perfect"Fiction and non-fiction prose
16 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I like this creation story Craig, I must admit to having a chuckle at your ending. Gorgeous photograph showing Nature at it's best. Enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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I like this creation story Craig, I must admit to having a chuckle at your ending. Gorgeous photograph showing Nature at it's best. Enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 20-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thanks so much for the lovely review, Valda. Glad it gave you a giggle. Cheers, Craig
Comment from shaffer40
I'm inclined to agree with your version of events. And, in seventy-five little words you've answered my curious mind's question: Why are we here? Well, I promise to be good if we can have the perfection back. This world's too cruel. BTW, it must be wonderful to have all those animals.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
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I'm inclined to agree with your version of events. And, in seventy-five little words you've answered my curious mind's question: Why are we here? Well, I promise to be good if we can have the perfection back. This world's too cruel. BTW, it must be wonderful to have all those animals.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
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LOL stay tuned for the 50-word flash fiction, where I solve the problem of world poverty! ;-)
Thanks so much for this great review, and the lovely, generous award of six stars. Both are greatly appreciated.
The animals are great, I think they might be tiring of me, though. I'll probably get an eviction notice soon.
Craig
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You'll be quite famous then. I hope that means we'll all be rich. LOL
Comment from Sugarray77
Craig, your entry for the 75 Word Flash is really good and thought provoking. You make the case that there needs to be contrast for perfection to be appreciated... hmmm I will think about that. Great read and good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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Craig, your entry for the 75 Word Flash is really good and thought provoking. You make the case that there needs to be contrast for perfection to be appreciated... hmmm I will think about that. Great read and good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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I don't necessarily hold that view myself, Melissa. I was suggesting maybe that was the creator's reason for making humans ;-)
Thanks for the terrific review, good to hear from you.
Craig
Comment from --Turtle.
Hey Craig,
Nice job with this short flash.
Strong description sentences, with a pleasing balance of visuals and present tense action to contemplation of life given the sense of before people; Life must have been pretty happy... or at least not destroying the earth in its biological struggle for survival through some kind of dominance/ skill.
In the foreground, towering trees, through which golden sunlight streamed, bringing cheer to tiny mammals at play on the forest floor.
(Now that's a sentence doozie; I appreciated the complicated shift of towering trees being and doing to cheer the animals... pretty neat)
Reading this, I had the side impression that this universe's grand designer may enjoy building sandcastles to throw adolescents on the beach just to see how long the sandcastle stands.
I wonder if it has less to do with things being too perfect, and more the morbid curiosity to see who's creation spins longest ... given handicaps.... Entropy alone? Where's the fun in that kind of predictability?
Some like to put things in motion just to see how long their thing lasts. Forced bugs to measure how robust the system is.
But I'm babbling a bit. I enjoyed reading through this flash and it was fun counter imagining a bunch of gods huddled around playing the odds of earth exploding... given humans.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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Hey Craig,
Nice job with this short flash.
Strong description sentences, with a pleasing balance of visuals and present tense action to contemplation of life given the sense of before people; Life must have been pretty happy... or at least not destroying the earth in its biological struggle for survival through some kind of dominance/ skill.
In the foreground, towering trees, through which golden sunlight streamed, bringing cheer to tiny mammals at play on the forest floor.
(Now that's a sentence doozie; I appreciated the complicated shift of towering trees being and doing to cheer the animals... pretty neat)
Reading this, I had the side impression that this universe's grand designer may enjoy building sandcastles to throw adolescents on the beach just to see how long the sandcastle stands.
I wonder if it has less to do with things being too perfect, and more the morbid curiosity to see who's creation spins longest ... given handicaps.... Entropy alone? Where's the fun in that kind of predictability?
Some like to put things in motion just to see how long their thing lasts. Forced bugs to measure how robust the system is.
But I'm babbling a bit. I enjoyed reading through this flash and it was fun counter imagining a bunch of gods huddled around playing the odds of earth exploding... given humans.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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Thanks for the terrific review, Turtle. Maybe he was just pissed off to find out he was imaginary? I think that would be enough to really annoy any self-respecting deity. "Here, world I didn't magic into existence, take THAT! Let's see you survive now." Most grateful, as always. Craig
Comment from BeasPeas
An excellent story. No chance things will ever be perfect with mankind in it. Humans are a mixed bag of good and evil in varying degrees. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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An excellent story. No chance things will ever be perfect with mankind in it. Humans are a mixed bag of good and evil in varying degrees. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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That they are, Marilyn. Thanks for a great review. Craig
Comment from Dawn Munro
Holy smokes, dear friend -- you are brave, aren't you? LOL. I don't want to see the reviews (even though this is listed as "fiction"), or at least some of them. KUDOS to you for a SUPER 75 word flash!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Holy smokes, dear friend -- you are brave, aren't you? LOL. I don't want to see the reviews (even though this is listed as "fiction"), or at least some of them. KUDOS to you for a SUPER 75 word flash!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Are you trying to insinuate something I've written might not be met with resounding applause from some quarters, dear Dawn? lmpossible to believe!
So far, no nasty responses, but give it time... lol
Many thanks for the generous words and the very kind rating. Most grateful :)
Craig
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LOL-- yes and yes. Most deserved, Craig. A knock-out IMHO.
Comment from MissMerri
I enjoyed this very much, for its creativity, unique perspective and yes... humor. You are very funny sometimes, Craig. I will not argue with you about the evils of mankind. That is an undeniable reality. And that is exactly why we need a Savior. I also feel you made a valid, and frequently overlooked point when you wrote, "Without ugliness, how can beauty be appreciated?" It is true that we see more clearly through contrasts. If we have only beauty, how would we know to appreciate it? Anyway, I loved reading this, partly because you put yourself into the mind of the Creator, and that was priceless. I truly hope this will do well in the fiction contest. My best to you always. MM
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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I enjoyed this very much, for its creativity, unique perspective and yes... humor. You are very funny sometimes, Craig. I will not argue with you about the evils of mankind. That is an undeniable reality. And that is exactly why we need a Savior. I also feel you made a valid, and frequently overlooked point when you wrote, "Without ugliness, how can beauty be appreciated?" It is true that we see more clearly through contrasts. If we have only beauty, how would we know to appreciate it? Anyway, I loved reading this, partly because you put yourself into the mind of the Creator, and that was priceless. I truly hope this will do well in the fiction contest. My best to you always. MM
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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I'm grateful for the very thoughtful and kind response, MM.
Another reviewer made a point of mentioning that we are made in the image of God. It struck me when I read that, that if I ever understood what that phrase was supposed to mean, its significance has long gone from my mind. I can't think of a single attribute, physical or otherwise, that humans would share with an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being.
Thanks for visiting, always good to hear from you :)
Craig
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I think we are created with the attributes of God, such as loving, mercy, compassion, nurturing, a desire for love and beauty, creativity, those things we value as good and life-enriching. Don't you think humans have those qualities? Where do they come from, if not from our Creator?
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It's really interesting that you define being "in the image of God" that way. I've spent more time than most closely observing a variety of animals, and I'd argue that those animals exhibit, without exception every single one of the attributes you've described. I could give concrete examples if required. So the question then is, why didn't God say that goats, dogs, horses, etc are also made in his image, if that's the criteria? He says that only of man. To go further, when I look at humans, I see attributes that are widespread that are much less common in the animal kingdom, such as pettiness, cruelty, greed and spite. Surely these are not reflecting the image of God?
As for where all those things come from, I would suggest billions of years of evolution.
Comment from catch22
Hi Craig, wow! You sure don't pick the low hanging fruit when you write flash fiction huh? Excellent retelling of the story of creation and you reveal the paradox of the creation of evil from the hand of a benevolent creator. I thought the idea of perfection being taken for granted was a clever way to rationalize the cruelty of the deity in giving free will to his creation when he already sets them up to fail. Best in the contest with this write.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Hi Craig, wow! You sure don't pick the low hanging fruit when you write flash fiction huh? Excellent retelling of the story of creation and you reveal the paradox of the creation of evil from the hand of a benevolent creator. I thought the idea of perfection being taken for granted was a clever way to rationalize the cruelty of the deity in giving free will to his creation when he already sets them up to fail. Best in the contest with this write.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comments and the most kind rating, Pam. I'm glad you liked my short story. Much appreciated :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written seventy-five word flash fiction about the creation that needs some evil to create a balance between good and bad and that is why man was created.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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A very well-written seventy-five word flash fiction about the creation that needs some evil to create a balance between good and bad and that is why man was created.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks for the fine comments, Sandra. They are much appreciated. Craig
Comment from lyenochka
Ouch! But that would explain lots about the Fall. I understand where you're coming from, Craig. Your piece is very well written and I wish you well in the contest! I prefer to believe that despite our fallenness, each person has worth, being made in God's image.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Ouch! But that would explain lots about the Fall. I understand where you're coming from, Craig. Your piece is very well written and I wish you well in the contest! I prefer to believe that despite our fallenness, each person has worth, being made in God's image.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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I'm curious exactly what that phrase could mean, Helen. Not a single thing about humans immediately fits what I would think of as a "god-like" attribute. In any case, thanks for the thoughtful review :) Craig