The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "The Slaying of the Markhor Pt 2"A Novel
23 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is an excellent chapter, Tony.
-You write the journal entry so
well, it is like it is yours.
-It flows effortlessly, is very
interesting to read, and the imagery is vivid.
-It is rather supernatural the way
he survived in the wilderness, but
"Never again would he hunt..."
-The ending of the chapter is very good, too,
and follows smoothly from reading the journal,
the imagery continuing to be descriptive and detailed.
-My guess is that Helen probably heard the
conversation, and it sparked her reaction;
it fits the whole atmosphere of the chapter.
-This is one of your best!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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-This is an excellent chapter, Tony.
-You write the journal entry so
well, it is like it is yours.
-It flows effortlessly, is very
interesting to read, and the imagery is vivid.
-It is rather supernatural the way
he survived in the wilderness, but
"Never again would he hunt..."
-The ending of the chapter is very good, too,
and follows smoothly from reading the journal,
the imagery continuing to be descriptive and detailed.
-My guess is that Helen probably heard the
conversation, and it sparked her reaction;
it fits the whole atmosphere of the chapter.
-This is one of your best!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
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Thanks very much for this review and for the six stars, Pam. This chapter came together in my head with more fluidity than most.
I appreciate your comments. All the best, Tony
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony. It shows that it came together very well.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Wow! The eye out of a needle at five hundred yards, that's quite impressive. Not even Hawkeye, James Fenimore Cooper's great frontiersman superhero from The Leatherstocking Tales, could match that accomplishment! Of course, La Long Carbine had only a flintlock at his disposal.
The telling of the encounter with the Markhor is splendid. Spellbinding!
The pure-white stained by crimson blood red roses is a powerful image that implies a possible Peri connection across many years. It may not portend good things for Kayla.
And now Helen, looking as she's seen a ghost...
The best chapter in the book thus far!
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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Hello Tony,
Wow! The eye out of a needle at five hundred yards, that's quite impressive. Not even Hawkeye, James Fenimore Cooper's great frontiersman superhero from The Leatherstocking Tales, could match that accomplishment! Of course, La Long Carbine had only a flintlock at his disposal.
The telling of the encounter with the Markhor is splendid. Spellbinding!
The pure-white stained by crimson blood red roses is a powerful image that implies a possible Peri connection across many years. It may not portend good things for Kayla.
And now Helen, looking as she's seen a ghost...
The best chapter in the book thus far!
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Robert. This chapter went down well with quite a few reviewers. I've always been fascinated by folklore. There's much wisdom in the primitive religions and their close connection with the land and its flora and fauna. A pity we don't take more heed.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm left wondering if Helen has seen something that might add more to the story of the wonderful story of the Markor. This was very different to what has been going on in Charles' life, but methinks it might have something to do with it. Well done, Tony, excellent chapter. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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I'm left wondering if Helen has seen something that might add more to the story of the wonderful story of the Markor. This was very different to what has been going on in Charles' life, but methinks it might have something to do with it. Well done, Tony, excellent chapter. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks for your review, Sandra. I'm not sure what will happen with the eventual pruning and rearrangement of this story when I come to the final edit, but I suspect that this chapter may turn out to be pivotal.
Comment from Debbie Pope
This chapter is so well written. I love the tale of the markhor. Every word was engaging. I am addicted to your novel, but I think that I have missed a chapter. I will check on that.
You have created great suspense with your final sentence. I can't imagine what is wrong with Helen.
Well done, Tony.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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This chapter is so well written. I love the tale of the markhor. Every word was engaging. I am addicted to your novel, but I think that I have missed a chapter. I will check on that.
You have created great suspense with your final sentence. I can't imagine what is wrong with Helen.
Well done, Tony.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Jan for your review. I'm not sure what will happen with the eventual pruning and rearrangement of this story when I come to the final edit, but I suspect that this chapter may turn out to be pivotal.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with the supernatural aspect of this chapter, Tony. It read smoothly and at a quick pace. I can see that other tangents of this chapter and the one before it will offer further ideas for the storyline. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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You did a good job with the supernatural aspect of this chapter, Tony. It read smoothly and at a quick pace. I can see that other tangents of this chapter and the one before it will offer further ideas for the storyline. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks again for taking the time to review. I'm not sure what will happen with the eventual pruning and rearrangement of this story when I come to the final edit, but I suspect that this chapter may turn out to be pivotal.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Good little side story of the hunt, and the consequences. What dramas you've created for these characters Tony, and much more to come I'm thinking with Helen's reaction.
great write,
cheers
valda
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Good little side story of the hunt, and the consequences. What dramas you've created for these characters Tony, and much more to come I'm thinking with Helen's reaction.
great write,
cheers
valda
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Another six stars! You're spoiling me. Glad you are still finding the story interesting. I very much appreciate your support. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Gloria ....
So very good, and the possession taking different forms clearly an indication of something, but what?
Perhaps it appears Helen may hold the clues.
Exceptional, Tony.
Gloria
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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So very good, and the possession taking different forms clearly an indication of something, but what?
Perhaps it appears Helen may hold the clues.
Exceptional, Tony.
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Such an encouraging review. For much of this story I've felt like an observer, looking in on puppet figures, but there are some chapters where I feel as though I am stepping into the pages alongside them. This was such an occasion. I appreciate the validation of the sixth star.
Comment from estory
I thought this was a great chapter, one of the best in a while. The tale of the hunt in the Himalayas, with the mountain goat fighting with almost supernatural strength against the old man, came off as surreal. We see this spirit stepping from the body of the animal, who dies with its horns pointed at its killer, in a never give up mentality. The spirit takes the form of a woman in white; a great symbol of Kayla. It is all very dream like, very eerie, very much a foreshadowing of something big to come. Super descriptive writing makes this scene of hunting the animal come alive, in the cold air, in the snow, high up in the mountains, alone. estory
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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I thought this was a great chapter, one of the best in a while. The tale of the hunt in the Himalayas, with the mountain goat fighting with almost supernatural strength against the old man, came off as surreal. We see this spirit stepping from the body of the animal, who dies with its horns pointed at its killer, in a never give up mentality. The spirit takes the form of a woman in white; a great symbol of Kayla. It is all very dream like, very eerie, very much a foreshadowing of something big to come. Super descriptive writing makes this scene of hunting the animal come alive, in the cold air, in the snow, high up in the mountains, alone. estory
Comment Written 14-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks for your encouraging remarks about this chapter and for the sixth star. There's great reassurance in receiving this kind of review when it comes from someone who is not afraid to point out my errors!
Comment from Gail Denham
Well now I begin to see the direction of this story - very well written. Smooth transitions and good action in this piece. Your choice of words is slightly different from the British idioms. I'm learning new words.
Good job.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Well now I begin to see the direction of this story - very well written. Smooth transitions and good action in this piece. Your choice of words is slightly different from the British idioms. I'm learning new words.
Good job.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Gail. There is quite a bit of idiom scattered through the book, and it sometimes causes confusion on one side of the Atlantic or the other! Thanks for the review. All the best,Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Something like this was always going to happen, given the build-up and whether the spirit of the markhor appeared to enter the body of the hunter as wraiths of a final breath or as some ethereal maiden makes little difference, magic is abroad in both cases.
The whole of the account of the hunt, the portion in italics, while being all 'tell' is completely gripping and so makes me wonder about this doctrine of 'show don't tell'. Indeed Bisto's comments about the temperature and breakfast are the only items of direct speech in the post, and I have to say that doesn't worry me at all.
Comments on anything posted over the next couple of weeks will have to wait until my return from vacation, but I will be reading them. I wouldn't miss them for the world.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Something like this was always going to happen, given the build-up and whether the spirit of the markhor appeared to enter the body of the hunter as wraiths of a final breath or as some ethereal maiden makes little difference, magic is abroad in both cases.
The whole of the account of the hunt, the portion in italics, while being all 'tell' is completely gripping and so makes me wonder about this doctrine of 'show don't tell'. Indeed Bisto's comments about the temperature and breakfast are the only items of direct speech in the post, and I have to say that doesn't worry me at all.
Comments on anything posted over the next couple of weeks will have to wait until my return from vacation, but I will be reading them. I wouldn't miss them for the world.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Jim. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. I suspect that most of these 'rules' are for the breaking from time to time. Guidelines, at most. I'm amused here, by those who abhor adverbs and propose replacing them with cumbersome adverbial phrases. I agree that they should be used sparingly - but banishing them altogether seems a bit heavy-handed.
Thanks very much for the sixth star.