The Hit
The Wrong Move contest entry3 total reviews
Comment from LyndaS
Ha! You got me good. What a write! The flow of this is incredible considering all the action packed in this piece. I was able to follow this fight beginning to end. What fun! Great job. Good luck in the vote. Lynda
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
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Ha! You got me good. What a write! The flow of this is incredible considering all the action packed in this piece. I was able to follow this fight beginning to end. What fun! Great job. Good luck in the vote. Lynda
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
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Wow, thank you so much for the fantastic review and the giant six, Lynda. I love my stories like I like my movies...with nonstop action, lol. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again. Have a wonderful day.
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Well deserved, author. And we'll done.
Comment from humpwhistle
I had fun, but there are a number of grammatical errors you might want to address.
Peace, Lee
They surely thought --why did use the plural 'they' here? At this point, the intruder(s) are unknown, uncounted.
Moments later, he
charged in (where?) and stuck his head out (where), searching for his target...Me.--action writing requires clarity.
"You gave them a four star review."--Them? Shouldn't the client be singular?
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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I had fun, but there are a number of grammatical errors you might want to address.
Peace, Lee
They surely thought --why did use the plural 'they' here? At this point, the intruder(s) are unknown, uncounted.
Moments later, he
charged in (where?) and stuck his head out (where), searching for his target...Me.--action writing requires clarity.
"You gave them a four star review."--Them? Shouldn't the client be singular?
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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Thank you for the great review and suggestions, Lee. I'll give them some thought. I appreciate the generous stars.
Comment from aroundthebend
Excellent! Well written, thought provoking, great use of the English language and verbally an exciting physical altercation!!!! Took a lot of thought and mental mapping of creating such physical scenes. Terrific writing!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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Excellent! Well written, thought provoking, great use of the English language and verbally an exciting physical altercation!!!! Took a lot of thought and mental mapping of creating such physical scenes. Terrific writing!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review, ATB. I really appreciate the generous stars and kind words. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a wonderful day.
