Summer Storm
Storm Contest entry38 total reviews
Comment from Richard J
Goodness!
What a powerful, image-blessed composition of splendid rhyming, presentation, and lines that flowed seamlessly down the page.
With the even 8-count throughout and the simple a,b,c,b rhyme-scheme, the L4 9-count easily jumped out.
You might consider the elision, tang'ling, as a quick fix.
You've created a most exciting tale of stormy Summer.
I hope you'll do well in the contest ...thank you sincerely for sharing your special skills! ~ Richard : )
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Goodness!
What a powerful, image-blessed composition of splendid rhyming, presentation, and lines that flowed seamlessly down the page.
With the even 8-count throughout and the simple a,b,c,b rhyme-scheme, the L4 9-count easily jumped out.
You might consider the elision, tang'ling, as a quick fix.
You've created a most exciting tale of stormy Summer.
I hope you'll do well in the contest ...thank you sincerely for sharing your special skills! ~ Richard : )
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thank you so much for your enthusiastic praise of SUMMER STORM, Richard, and for the heads-up on "tang'ling." I am delighted you enjoyed it.
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork you choose to go with you poem
It is perfect match for your poem
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
I Even knowing it was a poem I felt the fear within each line thinking this is going to an awful ending... to my surprise just like the storm past by the sea subside and the person weather the storm and return enjoying the beach
great write
cookie
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I love the artwork you choose to go with you poem
It is perfect match for your poem
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
I Even knowing it was a poem I felt the fear within each line thinking this is going to an awful ending... to my surprise just like the storm past by the sea subside and the person weather the storm and return enjoying the beach
great write
cookie
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Hi Cookie! Always a pleasure to receive a review from you. I am delighted you enjoyed SUMMER STORM from the first line to the last. Thank you for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from TPAC
A beautiful adventure finding myself in the changing occurrences of this storm, gusting wind fading your words from my ear. A note heard assuring both our safety. All stated in my opinion.
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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A beautiful adventure finding myself in the changing occurrences of this storm, gusting wind fading your words from my ear. A note heard assuring both our safety. All stated in my opinion.
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I am delighted you enjoyed the adventure of being caught in a summer storm. Many thanks for your kind praise, TPAC.
Comment from estory
I wonder if this could be better in free verse, where you might have had more opportunity to explore the rhythms of the wind and the rain rather than this more rigid rhymed quatrain approach. It does create some echoing effects in the rhymes, like echoing peals of thunder, but I still think free verse offers more opportunity to explore the natural rhythms. There were some great images in it, of the dust devils going across the sand, the wind shaking the trees, the forked lightning ripping apart the sky. You placed us in that scene, and we could see it unfolding around us. estory
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I wonder if this could be better in free verse, where you might have had more opportunity to explore the rhythms of the wind and the rain rather than this more rigid rhymed quatrain approach. It does create some echoing effects in the rhymes, like echoing peals of thunder, but I still think free verse offers more opportunity to explore the natural rhythms. There were some great images in it, of the dust devils going across the sand, the wind shaking the trees, the forked lightning ripping apart the sky. You placed us in that scene, and we could see it unfolding around us. estory
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I am very pleased I could put you there during that sudden summer storm, estory. I truly appreciate your kind praise of my imagery. As for free verse, you may be correct in saying it gives more freedom "to explore the rhythms of the wind and rain," but I prefer the challenge of traditional structured verse.
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a perfect description of the storm ending on a peaceful note once it's over.
This is one of my favourite lines:
while tangling tufts of errant hair.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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This is a perfect description of the storm ending on a peaceful note once it's over.
This is one of my favourite lines:
while tangling tufts of errant hair.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I am so pleased you enjoyed SUMMER STORM, Maria. Many thanks for your very kind praise.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was extremely well written, the imagery really took us into the storm, feeling the pelting rain, being swept along in the wind, having our eardrums almost bursting through the thunderous roar, and eyes scorched by the lightning. So very well done and an excellent contest entry. Good luck! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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That was extremely well written, the imagery really took us into the storm, feeling the pelting rain, being swept along in the wind, having our eardrums almost bursting through the thunderous roar, and eyes scorched by the lightning. So very well done and an excellent contest entry. Good luck! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thank you so much, Sandra, for your enthusiastic response to SUMMER STORM. I am so pleased I could put you there.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
This is excellent. I can't believe I have just given away my last six when I would have loved to have showered it here. The description of the storm - its build up, downpour and return to calm allows the reader to feel caught in such gripping weather themselves. Brilliant! ~DD
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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This is excellent. I can't believe I have just given away my last six when I would have loved to have showered it here. The description of the storm - its build up, downpour and return to calm allows the reader to feel caught in such gripping weather themselves. Brilliant! ~DD
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thank you so much, DD, for your wonderful response to SUMMER STORM. I will accept a virtual six anytime, knowing I wrote something you enjoyed.
Comment from jenintorre
I really love this poem it is so atmospheric. I really was there with you all the way as your words created such excellent imagery. Good luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I really love this poem it is so atmospheric. I really was there with you all the way as your words created such excellent imagery. Good luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I am so pleased you enjoyed SUMMER STORM as much as you did, Jen. It was fun to create the scene, and I'm thrilled I put you there. Many thanks for the fabulous praise and that six-star bonus.
Comment from karenina
Just beautifully written. Each verse evenly metered in consistent eight syllable lines and in flawless word images so clever and original I smiled at my good fortune to read this. Should be the contest winner! Good luck!--Karenina
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Just beautifully written. Each verse evenly metered in consistent eight syllable lines and in flawless word images so clever and original I smiled at my good fortune to read this. Should be the contest winner! Good luck!--Karenina
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I am thrilled you think SUMMER STORM is "beautifully written," Karenina. I truly appreciate your high praise and that galaxy of stars you gave me.
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Just head and shoulders above the rest! Good luck!--Karenina
Comment from Gail Denham
Nice poem - it's fun to watch a real storm at the coast - fills you with amazement at the power of those huge waves and also makes a person happy they're not out in that terrific surf.
reply by the author on 24-May-2019
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Nice poem - it's fun to watch a real storm at the coast - fills you with amazement at the power of those huge waves and also makes a person happy they're not out in that terrific surf.
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 24-May-2019
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Thank you, Gail, for sharing my storm poem. Indeed a storm can kick up huge waves that erode beaches and dunes.
